Virtually Yours
by Lacey
Summary: Sometimes it's easier to be yourself when you're looking at the world through a computer screen. JxS Completed!
1. We Don't Need No Stinkin' Back Button

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing! No suing! Yugioh is the intellectual property of some other people.

**Warning:** Yaoi goodness eventually! This is your only warning!

**Virtually Yours**

**Chapter 1: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Back Button**

"No more school, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks!" Joey Wheeler crowed as he and his best friends strolled through the mall on the first day of summer vacation. He flung his arms wide to emphasize his freedom, nearly smacking Tristan in the head. "And best of all, no more class with Kaiba!" Sure, Joey was planning on spending most of his summer working, but, unlike with school, he had some motivation. He wanted to save up enough to move out of his Dad's apartment the moment he turned eighteen. Though that didn't mean he wouldn't splurge a little either. In fact, the lure of the electronics store stopped him dead in his tracks while his friends kept on walking.

Joey knew that his pals would notice he wasn't there after a few steps, so he ducked into the store to drool over the main game display. Age of Heroes – not the most enticing of titles, but the game did bear the famous Kaiba Corp logo. And, whatever Joey might think of the company's young CEO, he couldn't deny that Kaiba did put out good, solid games. Best of all, the game came with a VR headpiece to help immerse the player in the game. Quickly Joey stole a glance at the price tag. Yeah, he could afford it, but just barely.

Even as Joey reached for the game, a hand shot out and grabbed his arm. "Don't you dare, Joey Wheeler!" Tea hissed. His pals had found him.

Putting on his usual goofy grin, Joey shrugged off Tea's hand. "Relax. I start work next week, so I'll make the money back." Before Tea could offer another protest, he grabbed the game and hustled to the checkout counter with his precious treasure.

For the rest of the group's day out, Joey kept the game cradled possessively against his chest. He wasn't going to give anyone half a chance to take it away. Eventually Tristan gave him a playful shove. "Stop acting like Gollum drooling over his 'preeecious.' Go on home and play your game, you goof." Needing no further encouragement, Joey said his goodbyes and rushed home.

"Dad?" No response, which mean that Joey's Dad was either out or passed out from his latest drinking binge. Either option was fine for the young man, being preferable to having his father home and roaring drunk.

With the coast clear, Joey scampered to his room and shut the door, flipping the lock so that he wouldn't have to worry about his father barging in later. Now he could concentrate on more important things. First he tore into the game package and began browsing through the instructions. Just as he figured - they were written in RPG Gibberish. Not a problem, Joey decided. He'd simply figure the game out the old fashioned way - by playing it.

Digging around under the bed where he hid all his best stuff from his Dad, Joey pulled out a laptop. It was an older-model thing, clunky and big in comparison to the machines out on the market now. But it ran well. Rebecca had gotten it for him for his last birthday, and had refurbished it so that it could keep up with the modern machines. At the time Joey had insisted that it was too much, but the little girl had merely flashed him a puckish grin and told him that someone had to get him out of the Stone Age. Joey chuckled at the memory. He really did have the best friends in the world.

While the game installed, Joey began examining the VR headpiece. It wasn't top of the line, but that was expected. Kaiba couldn't make any money off of the game if he gave away thousands of dollars of VR equipment with it. So instead he was playing it smart and offering buyers a small taste of what they could get if they forked over more cash.

The piece itself was pretty simple-looking, Joey decided. It looked like a cross between one of those silly earpiece cellphones and a pair of sunglasses. "Huh. This thing's made for a keyboard jockey," Joey muttered. To get the in-your-face visuals the piece would provide and still be able to play, a person would have to be able to navigate the keyboard by feel. Luckily Joey had played enough games to get past the hunt-and-peck two-fingered typist stage. He could probably manage.

And so as the "Age of Heroes" welcome screen appeared, Joey pulled on the VR piece and set to work designing his character. Joey first found himself looking at two blank mannequins - male and female. Easy enough, all Joey had to do was pick. So he began fiddling with the computer's touchpad mouse and with a click, the female mannequin lit up. Joey groaned. He hated that stupid touchpad mouse. But no problem. he'd just hit the Back button and... And... "Dammit, Kaiba! You forgot the damn Back button!"

Joey glared at the screen. If he'd been a paranoid person, he'd think that Kaiba had done this to him on purpose somehow. With a growl, Joey started to close up the game. Then it hit him. Who would know? What better way to make it through the newbie stage without getting teased? Once he knew the game well enough, he could go back and create a new character. Chuckling in wicked delight, Joey set to work adding details to the mannequin.

When he was finished, he took a moment to survey the results with pride. The final product was most un-Joey-like, which was just what he wanted. Dark hair cascaded down the character's back. The eyes were almond-shaped emeralds glittering out of a hear-shaped face. The body was trim, if a little on the leggy side. Joey had cackled in delight when he realized that he could even edit the base form's bust. "I always knew Kaiba was a closet perv!" he'd snickered as he tried out different sizes. Joey had briefly toyed with the idea of using boobs that would rival Mai's, but in the end he'd decided that it looked too ridiculous. Instead, he'd gone smaller,feeling no need to compensate.

There had even been some pre-set voice modulations, so when Joey talked, the character would even sound like a girl!

The rest of the character creation was easy: pick a job class (thief), distribute a few attribute points, and then name the character. For the last, Joey decided on Mercutia. His literature teacher would probably faint, but Joey did pay attention, and he'd really identified with Mercutio when they'd studied "Romeo and Juliet." Pleased with the results, Joey hit save and entered into the game.

"Welcome to Brighton," a cheery voice piped in through the headpiece. A cheery little elf perched in the branch of a tree. "I see you're a new player. Would you like a tutorial?" Joey ignored the elf and started for what looked like a farming village at the end of a dirt road. While the character walked, Joey practiced bringing up the various windows the game allowed and found that he was armed with a dagger, had two health potions, and 500 gold. Basic. Very basic. But he had to start somewhere.

Joey closed up the status windows just in time to see a large snail sliming its way along the path. "Yo!" he called out. "You an NPC like smiley back there?" When the snail ignored him, Joey changed tactics and gave it a poke with the dagger. The snail faded out and a message appeared - 5 Exp, 10 Gold. "Guess not."

Up close, Joey found the town looked much as it had from a distance. "This must be where all the beginners hang out." In 10 minutes, he knew where everything was - armor and weapon shop on the right, magic shop on the left, inn at the end of the path. He checked out the shops first, only to realize that one piece of new equipment would cost him everything he had. He did get a couple of weak health potions, figuring he'd probably need them. And then he went on to the inn.

"Charming," he murmured as he looked around. He was in a sunny dining area. Tables were full of people, though Joey couldn't hear any conversation. Except... Off in the corner, a knight sat by himself. Joey made his way to the table. "Hey, is this seat taken?" No reaction. "Hey, hey! Damn! Just like Kaiba to sell a busted piece of junk..."

Just as Joey was fixing to tack on a string of words that would have earned him a week in detention during the school year, a message popped up on the screen. 'Andiron would like to talk. Accept?' Quickly Joey clicked 'yes', and a voice came through the piece. "Are you having problems?"

Joey pressed the key that would make his character smile as he answered, "Kind of, I guess. I'm still trying to figure things out. So, is this seat taken?"

Andiron stood. "No, but you won't 'figure things out' sitting around here. Come on. I'll help you train."

The knight began walking out of the inn, with Joey trailing behind. As they walked, Andiron explained the basic controls of the game, insisting that Joey test them out. "Hey," Joey interrupted at one point. "How come I couldn't hear anyone talking back at the inn?"

Andiron smiled, and Joey could almost bet that he was genuinely amused with this newbie. "The voice chat only works between parties, or if you've selected a specific character or group of characters. Otherwise the earpiece would probably overload with all the noise." The knight stopped in front of a particularly large tree. "Here we are. Not many people know about this spot, and it's full of beginner monsters. You'll be able to level easily here." Andiron tapped at the tree with his sword and a door swung open.

Joey was about to enter when a new message appeared on the screen. "Andiron wants to party. Accept?" Joey didn't hesitate for a second when he clicked, "Yes."

"Ladies first," Andiron purred through the earpiece. Joey bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. This guy was totally coming on to him! Still, Joey wasn't about to turn down the more experienced player's help. Joey went through the tree, into the next area, and found himself in monster heaven. Eagerly he set to hacking and slashing with his little knife. Whenever his health began to get low, Andiron would order him to a safe platform to heal and would take over the monster-slaying.

And the whole time, the two players talked. Since Andiron didn't know him, Joey didn't feel the need to play "big dumb blonde." For once in his life, he felt like he could really be himself. "I take it from your name, you've read 'Romeo and Juliet'," Andiron murmured.

Joey dispatched a few snails before answering. "Yeah. Not Shakey's best work, really. But I really felt like I got Mercutio, y'know. I'm like him in a lot of ways. We're both expected to be the goofballs, but... There's a lot more to us that no one sees." Joey scrambled to the safe platform to rest and heal before adding, "'Macbeth' is a zillion times better."

The two spent hours killing monsters and discussing books - sharing their favorites, debating over the ones they'd both read. Both players were lost in conversation until a loud crash followed by swearing jerked Joey back to the real world. "Shit! My old man's home. I've got to go, Professor. I'm gonna go to one of those - whatchamacallem - hot spot cafes, so I'll be back on in an hour if you'll still be here."

"Are you in-" Joey logged off before he could hear the rest of what the knight was going to say.


	2. The Professor and Merry Ann

**Virtually Yours**

**Chapter 2: The Professor and Merry Ann**

"-some kind of trouble?" Seto trailed off as Mercutia vanished.

The young CEO stared at the screen as if he could bring the girl back through sheer force of will. But, of course, he knew that was foolishness. Mercutia had said she'd be back in an hour, so Seto would just have to wait. He moved his knight back to the safe platform and busied himself with updating spreadsheets. Yet his eyes kept straying to his clock.

Talking to the girl had been a spur-of-the-moment thing. Seto hadn't meant for it to become hours of conversation. He'd just wanted to make sure that the game wasn't glitching. When she'd come to his table and merely stood there, he'd worried that she'd stumbled on a bug in the system.

Seto still wasn't sure why he'd offered to help Mercutia train. It had just seemed a chivalrous thing to do, and his character was a knight. And the fact that Mercutia was easy on the eyes hadn't hurt. Of course, for all he knew, she could be "howl at the moon" ugly in real life. But that didn't matter. He'd probably never meet her outside of the game.

As the time passed, Seto began to worry more and more. What if something happened? What if she needed help? What if...?

"Hey! You still around?" Fifty-seven minutes had passed.

"Yeah," Seto answered. "I'm at the training grounds. You need me to come back to the town and get you?"

"Nah," came the bubbly response. "I'll come to you, Professor." Seto smiled at the nickname. Earlier, she'd insisted that he must be some kind of literature professor, and even though Seto had denied it, she'd been calling him "Professor" since.

Seto got up from his desk to pour some coffee, his mind still on Mercutia's earlier disappearance. "Is everything alright?"

Silence.

"Mercutia?"

"I'm sorry, Prof." The bubbly tone was gone, Seto noted. "My problems are my own, y'know. I don't like talking about them. And it's not a big deal. I'll be starting work next week and saving up, and as soon as I'm eighteen, I'll move out and my problem won't be a problem anymore."

Mercutia appeared on screen and took up her monster-slaying again. Seto watched, wishing he could do something to help. Even though she hadn't told him outright, she'd dropped enough clues as to the nature of her "problem." Seto shuddered, thinking back to his own days when he'd had a similar "problem" with Gozaburo. "He hits you, doesn't he?"

"Don't worry your armor-plated head over it." Mercutia joined Seto on the platform for another healing session. "It'll take more than one damn drunk to get me down. Now, you want to talk about someone with problems, you ever read 'The Drowning of Stephan Jones?' No? Well, Stephan really had some problems. This whole hick town was against him simply because he swung the other way."

Seto let himself fall back into the familiar conversation of books, resolving not to involve himself in Mercutia's problems. It wasn't his place. He'd only known this girl for a few hours, after all. Getting close was a mistake. And, yet, even as she'd dubbed him "Professor," he found himself more and more calling her "Merry."

Eventually, though, the camaraderie had to end. It was Mercutia that offered a farewell first. "I've got to go, Prof. They're fixing to close the cafe and my old man's probably passed out by now. You going to be on tomorrow?"

Seto nodded, and then remembered that his game character wouldn't follow suit with the action. "Yeah, Merry. I'll be here. And... And if I'm not, and you want to talk to me about anything, call me. Do you have something to write with?"

"Just a minute. Hey, Miss, can I borrow a pen? Thanks! Go ahead, Prof."

Seto rattled off his cell number, and then they both logged off. Seto buried his face in his hands and sighed. He didn't know what he was getting himself into, but he hoped Mercutia would call him if things did start to get bad. He'd done all that he knew to do, and he could only hope it would be enough.

After stretching out muscles stiff from being still for too long, Seto began packing his briefcase - the files he wanted to look over tomorrow, his laptop, and a list of books Mercutia had mentioned. A visit to the library was going to be in order tomorrow.

The trip back to the Kaiba mansion was uneventful and quiet. When he got in, Seto checked on Mokuba to make sure he was asleep, and then went to bed himself. Yet sleep was long in coming, as Seto's thoughts kept drifting back to Merry. She seemed so intelligent and spunky, even despite her situation. Maybe he could invite her to come stay with him. He could certainly afford to fly her from anywhere. Yet... Maybe such an invitation would seem too stalker-like. Letting his thoughts wear him out, Seto slowly drifted off to sleep.

Morning dawned all too soon for Seto as a heavy weight tackled him into wakefulness. "You were late getting in last night!" a small voice accused. Yawning, Seto glanced at his clock and saw that he'd managed a full four hours of sleep. He promptly shoved his head under his pillow. "Go 'way. Tired."

Mokuba, however, was not to be put off. He yanked Seto's covers back. "Not until you tell me where you were, big brother. I was worried sick."

With a sleepy growl, Seto pawed around until he found the blanket and pulled it back up. "Office," he grunted. "Testing Age of Heroes."

"You spent all night playing a game!" the smaller boy screeched, yanking the covers back once again. "Up! Up! Up! You wouldn't let me sleep in if I did that, so you can't sleep in either!"

Seto continued the blanket tug-of-war, this time holding fast to the blanket so Mokuba couldn't pull it down again. He wanted to get at least another two hours of sleep. Yet little brothers and fate seemed to be conspiring against him as his cell phone rang. Seto sat up like a shot and grabbed his phone, flipping it open in a single fluid motion. "Merry?"

"May I speak with the financial decision maker of the household?" came a nasally whine. Damn solicitors! Seto snarled and snapped his phone shut. Too late he noticed Mokuba watching him with narrowed, suspicious eyes. "Who's Merry, big brother?"

"No one important," Seto sighed. "Just someone I was helping out in the game."

Much to Seto's surprise, Mokuba began giggling. "So not only were you playing games all night, you were flirting with a girl!"

Blushing from his brother's teasing, Seto lunged across the bed and caught the child in a headlock. Mokuba squealed in delight and darted his nimble fingers along Seto's side, taking advantage of his big brother's ticklishness to make an escape. The smaller boy rolled off the bed as soon as he was released, and dashed for the door.

Once Mokuba was gone, Seto went to get his shower, dressed, and went down to the kitchen. Mokuba was already at the table, crunching down on a bowl of some sugar-coated excuse for a breakfast. "Stay out of trouble while I'm at work," he murmured as he filled a travel cup with coffee.

Mokuba nodded. "Alright, big brother." He pointed his spoon imperiously at Seto. "I want to hear all about this Merry person when you get in. You can't cyber with her unless she gets my approval first!"

Blushing, Seto made his hasty escape, grabbing his briefcase as he ran out the door. Before going to the office, he had his driver stop at the library first. He pulled out the list he'd made and browsed the shelves to pick out a few books. When he went to the check-out desk, Seto spotted an all-too-familiar mop of blonde chatting with the librarian. "I didn't think the library allowed pets," Seto sneered.

The boy at the desk stiffened and turned slowly to face Seto. "What are you doing here, Moneybags? Ain't there a bookstore or something you could buy?"

Seto opened his mouth to retort, but closed it again when he saw the book on top of the stack Joey was checking out. "The Jungle?" Seto frowned at a sense of deja vu. Hadn't he and Merry talked about that one? What an odd coincidence. "Careful, mutt. That one will put you off your kibble."

Wheeler growled like the dog he was and gathered his books, stuffing them into a ratty backpack. "Fuck off, Moneybags." Seto smirked smugly as the boy stormed off, cursing under his breath. Putting Wheeler in his place was a wonderful way to start the day. Humming to himself, Seto checked out his books and went out to his waiting limo.

When he arrived at his office, Seto spread out the files he wanted to work on and then turned on the game. His good mood became even better when he saw that Merry was logged on. He wasted no time in messaging her, while directing his game avatar to their training grounds. "Hey there. Did you have any problems when you got in last night?"

"Pfft!" came Merry's response. "I had more trouble with this complete ass-hat I bumped into this morning. I swear! The bastard totally gets off on insulting me!"

"Ex-boyfriend?" Seto mused, trying not to feel the odd urge to find this horrid person and rip his guts out.

Merry broke out into peals of laughter. Not the reaction Seto was expecting, but the sound brought a smile to his face. He closed his eyes and imagined her sitting in front of her computer shaking from this full-out belly laugh. "God, Professor!" she managed to gasp out as she got herself back under control. "Oh, God! I haven't laughed like that in ages! Thanks, Professor."

At last Seto made it to the training ground. And there was his Merry. She flashed him a smile, and Seto responded in turn with a smile emote. "You're probably getting bored with straight monster-killing. Let's go find a quest."

With Seto in the lead, the two players began making their way through the beginner's forest. He'd briefly considered using a teleport scroll to take them to a town, but decided there was no sense in it. The monsters in the area were too weak to cause him much damage, and the experience points would be good for Merry.

As they traveled, Seto kept watch on Merry's health bar. Whenever it started to run low, he used a potion on her. She didn't need much healing. After all the training they'd done, Merry was a match for any monster in the beginner forest.

"Hey, Professor," Merry interrupted at one point. "Got any Holy Hand Grenades?"

Seto stopped and frowned, wondering what brought that on. "There aren't any such things in the game."

Merry sighed and stabbed a killer rabbit into nothingness. "Geez! Then why bother putting these gory little fluffballs in the game? If the programmers are going to do Monty Python, they should do it right! You know the movie, right?"

"No," Seto muttered. "I've never had much interest in movies."

"So you've never seen any Monty Python?" Merry gasped in shock. "You poor deprived man!" With that, she put on the most atrocious British accent Seto had ever had the misfortune to hear. "Now did the Lord say, 'First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'" 1

By "five is right out," Seto gave up any attempts to keep a straight face. What started with a few unstifled snickers built up into a roar of delight – a sound heard so rarely in Seto's office that his secretary peered in to make sure Seto wasn't having some sort of strange seizure. He waved her away and scribbled on a notepad next to his computer, "Rent Monty Python."

Back in the game, the forest reached an end and a town came into view. "Welcome to Lilyvale,"an elf chirped. "How may I be of assistance?" A menu popped up beside the elf with three options – News, Quest, and Heal.

Seto opened the Quest menu and began studying their options. "Go upgrade your equipment, Merry. The shops here are better than the ones at Brighton. I'll wait here, and when you get back we'll go on the quest to rescue the miller's son."

While Merry was gone, Seto took the time to turn his attention briefly back to the real world. He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a set of gloves. Eventually, he might set up the VR pods from his RPG World fiasco. But for now he could content himself with merely adding a touch more fluidity to the movement of his game avatar.

When Merry returned, Seto took hold of her hand. "Oh!" she gasped in surprise. Seto pretended not to notice, despite the flush of pleasure that rose at such a simple touch. "Let's go. The miller's son has been kidnapped by goblins. They'll turn the kid into dinner if we can't get him back." Seto began walking, not releasing his hold on Merry's hand. "We don't have far to go," he continued. "The entrance to the goblin caves is just a little way back into the forest.

"Professor?"

Seto stopped, realizing for the first time he was being overly brusque. "I'm sorry." He brought his hand to Merry's cheek, wishing she could feel his touch. "I'm not accustomed to being part of a team. When there's a job to be done, I tend to throw myself into it full force."

"Don't forget, Professor. This is just a game," Merry murmured. "Now, let's go kick some goblin butt!" She was laughing and in motion now, leaving Seto to follow.

As they reached the goblin caves, Seto halted and examined the area. No guards. Probably all of the goblins were inside, gathered around their cookpot. Cautiously, he took the lead as they went inside. It didn't take them long to find the main chamber. Goblins filled the room, surrounding a large fire. Against the wall was a cage, and a young boy could be heard snuffling inside.

Seto frowned at the sight. "There's too many for me to kill..."

"I've got a plan. Can you distract them?" Merry whispered.

"Yeah, but what-?"

Seto never had the chance to finish the question as Merry got out a grappling hook and tossed it up at one of the cave ridges. As she climbed the rope, Seto caught a brief flash of panty. "God bless horny programmers," he breathed before drawing his sword and launching himself into the midst of the goblins.

Seto's sword swung in a dazzling arc. He whirled and slashed – an armored dervish of goblin death. And as he kept up the offensive, he saw Merry dropping down by the cage. She drew out a thin wire and began working on the lock. "Clever girl!" he praised.

"Yeah, well, just keep those goblins off my ass, Prof. I've almost... Got it!" With a triumphant squeal, she pulled the cage door open and pulled out a scraggly peasant boy. Up the rope she went again, the boy holding tight to her back. Seto, meanwhile kept up his attack on the goblins. That is until Merry came swinging down from the roof of the cave. She plowed into Seto, the momentum pushing them beyond the goblins. And then they ran.

Both players were laughing as their avatars crashed through the forest. A victory! The quest had been fulfilled! Alone, they never would have succeeded. But together...

"We make an amazing team, Professor!" Merry crowed, in an uncanny echo of Seto's thoughts.

1 Quoted from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. If you've never seen that movie, you have been terribly deprived! Go remedy the situation immediately!


	3. Bytes and Pieces of a Shattered Heart

**Virtually Yours**

**Chapter 3: Bytes and Pieces of a Shattered Heart**

Joey's last week of freedom passed far too quickly. He would spend the mornings holed up in his room, reading until Andiron came online. The two players would go on quests and slay monsters and just talk. An outside observer would have been bored to tears, but Joey was having the time of his life. Yet all good things must eventually end.

And so it was that he and Andiron found themselves back at the Brighton Inn playing a chess mini-game. "I'll still be on, y'know, Professor. Just not as much."

Andiron sighed as he moved a piece. "I know. But I'm still going to miss you all the same. Check."

Joey frowned at Andiron's knight, and then moved his king out of the way. He'd yet to beat Andiron at this game, but it was fun trying. "I'll miss you too, man, but... I've got to work and save if I'm ever going to get away."

"Merry, if the job doesn't work out, call me. I've got plenty of room at my place, and I'd like it if you came to stay with me." Andiron paused, and in the silence, Joey could hear his nervous ragged breathing. "I'm a private person, Merry. I don't share my feelings easily, but... I like you. I like you and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

Joey stared at the computer screen and sighed. "I've got to tell you something, Professor. If you don't freak out, then yeah... I'll call you if something happens with the job. Promise." Joey took a deep breath. It was Moment of Truth time. "Y'see, Professor, in real life, I... I'm a guy."

The minutes stretched out as Andiron and Joey concentrated on the chess match. The only words that Andiron spared were "check" and, at last, "checkmate." Finally Joey couldn't take it anymore. "Professor? Did you hear me?"

Finally Andiron flashed Joey a smile. "I heard. This is me not freaking out. It's a shock. I won't lie about that, but... I like you for who you are, Merry, not - if I may be so crass - what lies between your legs. And...I do want to help you out. I know what it's like to be abused. I've been in your shoes, Merry."

Joey's vision blurred up and he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. "Y'know, Professor, the world would be a better place if more people were like you."

Andiron smiled again, and Joey wished the game allowed for more expressiveness. "There aren't many who would agree with you, Merry. But thank you. Now go get some sleep. We can't have you yawning on your first day-"

"Night," Joey corrected. "I'll be working night shifts. But I see what you're getting at. You be sure to rest, too. You sound as tired as I feel." The players wished each other sweet dreams before logging off.

Joey shut down his computer and hid it back under his bed before laying down for the night. Tomorrow was the big day - he'd begin working at Kaiba Corp as part of the janitorial staff. The work would be far from glamorous and exciting, but it would pay better than fast food places.

When he'd first gone to apply, Joey had been worried that he'd have to meet with Seto. But he'd merely been directed to the human resources department where he'd filled out his application. The head of the janitorial staff called a couple of days later, and after a short interview, it was decided that Joey would join the ranks of the employed.

Joey smiled to himself in the darkness. Even better than having a job, though, was knowing that the Professor would be there if something happened. But things would work out. And when he had a place of his own, Joey would call the Professor and invite him over for lunch, and the two would finally meet face-to-face.

Sleepily, Joey began murmuring the Professor's cell phone number to himself - a tactic he found worked better than counting sheep. With each repetition, Joey thrilled to the knowledge that he and the Professor shared a zip code. The Professor was somewhere out there... Somewhere close...

Joey had honestly meant to sleep in. Spending all day and a good chunk of the night with the Professor had left him sorely in need of rest. Yet before the sun had even risen, his bedroom doorknob began rattling violently. "Boy! Boy! Get your lazy good-for-nothing ass out of bed!"

A shudder of fear shook Joey's shoulders as he sat up. His dad was here, awake, and probably not sober. Joey threw himself out of bed, and grabbed his clothes. An escape was necessary, but he couldn't leave the apartment in just his boxers. So instead he set a record in speed-dressing.

The rattling at the door was getting louder. Joey figured it wouldn't be long until his father began trying to kick the door in. He needed to be gone by then. Joey grabbed his computer and some books, shoving them into his backpack. Then he jerked his window open and climbed out. Briefly he took in the alley that his room overlooked, and, more importantly, the dumpster below his window – his tried and true escape route.

Joey jumped.

As he fell, Joey tucked his body around his backpack, not wanting its contents to be damaged. "Oof!" he gasped, as he landed amongst the garbage bags. Luckily the garbage pick-up hadn't come yet, so his crash-landing was relatively soft, if somewhat smelly. At least he was safe for the moment. Disaster averted.

Humming to himself, Joey climbed out of the dumpster and began walking. He didn't have any set destination in mind. After an hour of aimless wandering, he wound up outside of the cafe where he spent all of his time playing Age of Heroes with the Professor. They were just opening the doors when he arrived.

Joey went inside and settled at his usual booth. He ordered a coffee and set up his computer. Andiron wasn't online. Might as well level up a little.

After half an hour of game play, Joey laid his head down on the table. He was out of the way; no one would care if he got a little bit of rest, and his game character was in a fairly safe spot. He'd just shut his eyes for a few minutes.

"Merry? Merry? Merry, are you there? Talk to me, dammit!" a worried voice sounded in Joey's ear.

Joey yawned hugely. What was it with people shouting at him every time he dozed off? First his dad, and now Andiron. Had sleeping suddenly become a crime or something? Wait... Andiron? Joey raised his head to the screen and saw that he was still logged into the game, and he'd set his Friend List to automatically accept voice messaging from Andiron.

"M'here, Prof," Joey mumbled, yawning again. He stretched and then took a sip of the nearly forgotten coffee, grimacing at the taste of the long-cold drink. Joey studied the screen a moment, trying to remember where "here" would be in the game. "At those seed-spitting bushes at the foot of Granite Mountain."

Joey watched the plants spit a seed back and forth as he listened to the Professor shift into "mother hen" mode. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? I've been calling your name for the past five minutes! And you should be sleeping! You've got a long night ahead of you!"

Joey considered seeing how long the knight would rant and rave, but only briefly. "I was sleeping, Prof. Well, trying to anyway. First my old man was pounding at my door, then you were shouting at me. Makes it kind of tough to get some shut-eye."

"Your father...," Andiron hissed in disgust, his tone inviting Joey to relate what happened. So Joey shared his daring escape out the window. As he talked, he set his character to work trying to catch that over-sized seed, figuring it would come in handy eventually. "So, wait," Andiron interrupted. "If you went out the window, then your door is still locked. How will you get back in your room? Do you pick locks in real life?"

"Nope," Joey laughed. "I don't have a clue how to do anything like that. I just get the screwdriver and take the doorknob apart." He went quiet as he watched the seed. Back and forth, back and forth – if he timed it just right... Joey clicked on the seed as it went flying by. "Ha! I got you, you little bastard!"

"What?" Andiron sputtered as he finally made it to Joey's screen.

Laughing, Joey made his character wave to the knight. "I caught their seed. Don't know what I'll do with it, but I've got it!"

Joey could picture the Professor sitting at his computer, shaking his head, a smile playing about his lips as he said, "You are something else, Merry. I'm not sure what yet, but you're definitely something. Now let's see if we can't figure out what to do with your seed."

Joey never knew what made him open his mouth next. Maybe it was a momentary bout of insanity. Or perhaps he was just tired of all of the borderline flirting. Though he wouldn't put it past the lack of sleep either. Whatever the reason, his words left even himself flabbergasted. "You can do whatever you want to with my seed."

Joey clapped his hands over his mouth. He couldn't have said what he thought he said, could he? He could feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment, and he was glad that at least his game character would keep a poker face. Oh, geez! The Professor was going to think Joey was just some horny kid. He was going to... Laugh?

"Like I said before, Merry," Andiron chuckled. "You are something else. Now let's go."

As he usually did, the knight began walking away, leaving Joey to follow or not. Joey didn't mind; he'd come to realize that this was just the Professor's way. Joey knew that it was a matter of trust that he would stay by the Professor's side. That was what being a team was about.

Two hours later, neither player was any closer to knowing the purpose of the seed, though they did come across some rumors of a dryad. And they probably would've sought out the tree spirit, except that Joey couldn't stop yawning. "Go home," Andiron ordered after the fifth yawn in as many minutes. "Go take your doorknob apart and get some sleep. Just don't oversleep and miss work tonight."

Joey started to protest, until he ended up interrupting himself with another yawn. So, instead, he said his farewells, packed up, and headed for home. After a shower and a nap, he felt like a new man.

Much refreshed, Joey arrived at the Kaiba Corp building half an hour before his shift was due to start. That had been one of the Professor's suggestions. According to the Professor, showing up early would show his superiors that he was full of initiative and eager to work. Joey figured it wouldn't hurt to try, and the head of the janitorial staff certainly seemed happy to see him.

Over the next few weeks, Joey's life fell into a new pattern as he juggled sleep, work, and game time, all while avoiding his father. Joey would wake up early and go to the cafe where he and the Professor would chat and play. Then he would go home and nap. After that it would be off to work, and then back to the cafe for a sandwich and a little more game time before going home.

At work, Joey tried to be the best of the best, even though he was only a janitor. His toilets sparkled, his floors glistened, and no waste basket went unemptied. Sometimes Joey would take a breather and just stare at a phone. The temptation was there to call the Professor and say, "Surprise! I know you live close by! Want to meet up for coffee when I get off work?" But then Joey would realize how grubby he was, and he would shy away. No, when he met the Professor, he wanted things to be perfect.

"Hey! Earth to Merry! Don't tell me you're sleeping again!"

Joey broke off from his daydreams and smiled at the computer screen. "Nah, I'm awake, Prof. Just thinking a bit. That's all. So, where are you? I'll come to you this time around."

"Lilyvale Inn," came the response. In the background, Joey thought he could hear someone saying, "Please, please, please, please, please!" The voice sounded like Andiron's, which clued Joey in to the fact that his partner was using one of the game's voice mods as well. "Just a minute," Andiron sighed, and Joey suspected he was talking to the pleading "please" person. "Hey, Merry, I had to bring my kid brother to work with me today. And he's set on being a complete brat until I let him talk to you." Despite the roughness of the Professor's words, Joey picked up on the loving teasing in the tone.

"That's cool, Prof. Put the squirt on."

There was a moment of silence, followed by a distant, "Don't embarrass me," presumably from the Professor. And then, "So you're the guy my brother's in love with!"

"You BRAT!" the Professor roared in the background.

Joey was left howling with laughter while the Professer presumably scuffled with his little brother to get the headpiece back. "I am so sorry about that, Merry!" the Professor blurted when he returned. "I had no idea he was going to... It's not funny!"

"No, it is because my little sister would've done the exact same thing!" Joey managed to gasp out by way of explanation. "The exact same damn thing!"

The rest of the morning gaming passed without incident. And eventually the Professor shooed Joey off to get his midday nap. In his dreams, he could still hear the Professor's brother's words. "So you're the guy my brother's in love with."

The smile those words stirred stayed with Joey until the walkie-talkie on his cart crackled to life. "Wheeler! The big boss's little brother just tossed his cookies. Go upstairs and clean it up." Joey's blood ran cold at the thought of entering Kaiba's office while the CEO was still in the building. But he didn't have any choice.

When he opened the door to Kaiba's office, Joey heard a startled gasp. Then a small form launched itself from the desk. "Joey!" Mokuba squealed. "What are you doing here?"

Joey jerked his thumb towards his cart. "I'm the clean-up crew," he announced, feeling a little more at ease because he didn't see the elder Kaiba brother around. Joey ruffled Mokuba's hair fondly. Unlike his brother, Mokuba was actually a pretty cool little kid. Joey wasn't sure how two brothers could be so vastly different.

Sheepishly, Mokuba pointed Joey out to the mess. There wasn't much to it - nothing a quick wipe up and mopping couldn't fix. "I had some bad sushi last night," the kid confessed. "But I'm almost over it!"

Joey just grinned and set to work. He wiped up the mess, sealing up the used paper towels in a baggy. Just as he finished mopping, the door opened. Joey froze as he saw Kaiba sneering at him from the doorway. "Kaiba Corp has a strict no pets policy, Wheeler."

Swallowing, Joey straightened to face Kaiba. "Yeah, well, lucky for me I'm not a pet, jerk-face!" Joey knew what was coming up, so he figured he might as well get his digs in while he could.

"Get out of my building, you damn dog!" Kaiba snarled. "And don't ever come back!"

There it was; just what Joey had been expecting. His job was finished. Kaput. But he'd be damned if he'd give Kaiba the satisfaction of seeing him upset. Instead, Joey grabbed the baggy of puke towels and thrust it into Seto's hands as he walked out the door. "Be sure to take care of that, Moneybags," Joey smirked. "I'd do it, but I don't seem to be employed here anymore." The look of outrage on Kaiba's face almost made getting fired worth it. Almost.

It wasn't until he was out of the building that Joey allowed his shoulders to hunch up in defeat. Damn Kaiba anyway! At least Joey could still count on his friends, and he had a promise to keep. He made his way to the nearest pay phone, digging in his pocket for some change. His hands shook as he dropped the money in the slot and began to dial. This was it. He was finally going to arrange to meet the Professor, even though it wasn't the way he wanted to. One ring... Two...

"Hello?"

Joey frowned a little. There was something familiar about that voice. "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but is this-"

"Wheeler!" the voice at the other end of the line roared, and Joey stared at the phone in horror. Now he knew where he'd heard that voice, especially since it had just fired him. "How the hell did you get this number, you mangy fucking mutt?"

Joey's only response was to hang up. Of all the people in the world, how could his Professor possibly have been Seto Kaiba, King of the Assholes? With no clue what else to do, Joey began walking home, for once not even caring whether or not his old man would be in. Somewhere, Joey just knew the fates were laughing it up at his expense.


	4. A Millionaire and His Strife

**Virtually Yours**

**A Millionaire and His Strife**

Seto snapped his phone closed and sneered at it. Stupid mutt! How dare he think himself good enough to even scrub the toilets of Kaiba Corp! And then to turn around and call like that - to have the sheer audacity to call Seto's private cell phone! Seto glared at the offending phone. When he found out how Wheeler had gotten his number, heads would roll!

Snarling words under his breath that he would never want to hear Mokuba repeating, Seto began packing his briefcase. He would go home, put Mokuba to bed, and go play the game with Merry. Then he could forget all this unpleasantness with the damn dog. That's exactly what he needed. Seto's lips were already starting to curl into a faint smile at the thought of his gaming partner. It would be nice if Merry called and they could arrange to meet somewhere. Seto could easily afford to go anywhere in the world, and he wanted to be able to put a face to the boy with whom he spent so much time.

When the time came that Merry normally showed up, Seto was logged in and waiting. Minutes passed, and then an hour. Still Seto's friend list said, "0/1 Online." Another hour came and went and still no Merry. Seto chewed his lower lip in worry. Where could he be? What if something horrible had happened? Maybe he'd been mugged. Or he could have been run over. Or his father could have...

Seto shook his head quickly to clear that train of that. Far more likely, Merry had just been exhausted and had gone home to sleep. "But," a little voice in the back of Seto's mind whispered. "Wouldn't he have at least come online to let you know?" Yes, he would have. Merry was considerate enough to come online just to say that he couldn't play tonight. So where the hell was he?

Eventually sleep claimed Seto at his computer. No shouts for the Professor woke him up, and all he had to show for his electronic vigil was a stiff neck and a stomach cringing with dread.

Still, Seto refused to abandon his post. There was always the chance that Merry had been too tired to even get online. But he would show up this morning, wouldn't he? Merry had to show up! He had to be well and unharmed! And when he came online, Seto would pump him for every bit of contact information he could get. Seto resolved to never have to spend another night worrying like this.

As the morning wore on with no Merry, Seto began reviewing what he knew about his friend, trying to think of something that would help him locate Merry. They operated on similar schedules, so it was likely that they lived in the same time zone, though Merry could still conceivably be an hour ahead or behind. Seto frowned. That was still a lot of ground to cover.

Seto went to his bookcase and pulled out an atlas. Grabbing a Sharpie, he drew a circle around the likely time zones. Yes, it was definitely a lot of ground, but it narrowed things down a little. Idly, Seto went ahead and crossed out the icy uninhabited regions of the world. Seto wracked his brain, but couldn't come up with any other location clues. He knew Merry had a sister, Merry lived with his father, Merry was a closet bookworm and a goofball to the world. But none of that would help him find Merry!

Snarling, Seto rose and hurled the atlas against the wall. Somewhere out there, his Merry needed him, and he could do nothing! Sinking back into his chair, Seto buried his face in his hands. He hadn't felt this helpless since his duel with Yugi in Duelist Kingdom.

"Big brother," came a soft voice from the doorway. "Aren't you going to get ready for work?"

"Can't," Seto murmured, forcing a quaver out of his voice. He wouldn't show weakness, especially not in front of Mokuba. "I've got to wait for Merry. He... I think something's happened to him. He hasn't been on since you got to talk to him."

Mokuba crossed the floor to his big brother and threw his arms around him. "If you're not going to go to work, get some rest. I'll watch for him." Seto cast a look over at his bed, admitting to himself that the restless scrap of sleep that he'd gotten had hardly been enough. "I promise I'll wake you if he comes online, Seto. I promise."

Seto lurched from his chair to the bed, collapsing onto the soft mattress. Mokuba scrambled onto the newly vacated chair and took up the watch. Knowing that Mokuba would be true to his word, Seto allowed sleep to reclaim him.

"Worthless brat," a gruff voice huffed in Seto's ear. Seto kept his eyes squinched shut tight. It was a child's philosophy, born from the days where curling up with the covers pulled tightly over your head would keep the Monster Under the Bed away. If you couldn't see the Monster, it couldn't get you. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" snarled the voice with breath that reeked of cigars. Gozaburo would always be Seto's Monster Under the Bed.

But Seto wouldn't open his eyes. He wouldn't acknowledge his tormentor. "Professor, help!"

Seto's eyes shot open at the sound of Merry's voice, and he almost fell off the castle battlements. Wait... Castle? Was he in the game? No, Seto realized as he glanced around. He knew this castle – Duelist Kingdom.

"Professor!"

Merry cowered against the wall, a trembling hand reaching out to Seto. And between them stood Gozaburo, swishing a riding crop back and forth. Once he had Seto's attention, Gozaburo turned to Merry and ripped at "her" dress, exposing the back. "You can't save anyone, you worthless brat! All you can do is watch." Gozaburo smirked at Seto before turning to strike at Merry with the crop. Again he struck, and again. Red welts rose against pale skin.

Seto lunged – he'd shoved Gozaburo out a window once, surely he could shove him off a castle! But as he reached his monstrous adoptive father, the older man raised a hand, and Seto couldn't move. He could only watch as Gozaburo continued his attack. When Gozaburo finally stepped away to let Seto admire his handiwork, Seto screamed. It was a scream he couldn't stop; it tore at his throat, filled with terror as he stared at the pile of flesh and blood that was barely even recognizable as human. One perfect, untouched hand continued to reach out for Seto, a silent plea for the help he couldn't give.

"Merry!" Seto was still screaming as he bolted up in his bed. A dream... Gozaburo was still dead. He, at least, couldn't touch Merry. Seto took deep, gulping breaths, trying to still his trembling body.

"He...hasn't been on yet, big brother," Mokuba said quietly from his station at the computer.

Merry never showed that day. The next day Seto made himself go in to work, but only after extracting promises from both Mokuba and his trusty right-hand man, Roland, that they would keep a continuous watch. Yet another day passed before Seto got a call from Mokuba. "He's online in Lilyvale. He wants to talk to you." Seto wasted no time in logging onto the game.

"Merry!" Seto sent his character running through Lilyvale, heading for the inn. There he was, waiting right outside. "Merry, are you alright? Where've you been?"

"I'm fine." Merry's tone said otherwise, lacking the usual bubble and fire – the spunk – that Seto was so used to hearing. "A sprained wrist and bruised pride, Professor, but nothing fatal. I... I had a brush with my old man, and... I got fired."

Seto's heart sank. He knew how much Merry had been depending on that job, and from everything Seto had heard, he'd been doing great work. "You told me that you'd call, Merry. You promised." Merry sighed, but didn't say anything. His silence was worrying. "Nevermind. All that matters is that you're fine. So what happened? Tell me everything."

"There's not much to tell," Merry muttered, heading into the inn. Seto followed her, and they sat at a table together. "The guy that owns the place hates me. He found out I was working there, and he fired me."

Anger burned in Seto's chest. How dare someone treat his Merry like this! He snarled and slammed his fist on his desk. "Don't worry, Merry. There are laws that protect people against things like this! I'll get you a lawyer and we'll sue this guy! He won't know what hit him!"

Merry began to laugh – a choking, ragged sound without the slightest shred of joy in it. "Oh, Professor... What chance does a 'mangy fucking mutt' stand against Kaiba Corp, you bastard?" And then he logged off, leaving Seto at the table alone.

"Mangy... Fucking..." Seto's stomach dropped to his feet. Wheeler was his Merry? He'd promised to help Merry, to protect him. And yet he was the one who had ruined all of Merry's plans. Trembling, Seto buried his face in his hands. "Mutt..."

"Merry doesn't exist," Seto muttered to himself. "He's just a figment created by that damn mutt to torture me." No matter how hard he tried, though, Seto couldn't bring himself to believe such a lie. Wheeler had to care a little. Even after the things Seto had said, Wheeler still came back to the game. He could have just not come back at all. But he came back to explain and to let Seto know he was alright.

Seto shut his eyes, hearing that bitter sobbing laugh in his head again. For the first time in his life, he'd heard Wheeler truly hurting, and he was the cause. He'd destroyed everything. If that was the case, then it was his job to fix everything as well. Seto shut down the game and started bringing up Wheeler's employee file.

Once he had the information that he wanted, Seto whipped out his phone and summoned Roland to bring the limo to the front of the building. There was no time to waste! Seto took the elevator down to the first floor, his bleak expression forbidding anyone to speak with him on the trip down. When he reached the limo, he handed Roland a print-out with Wheeler's address. "Take me there."

"Mr. Kaiba, sir!" Roland gasped after scanning the page briefly. "This isn't exactly the safest of neighborhoods..."

"I don't care," Seto snarled as he settled in the back of the limo. "Either take me there, or I'll get behind the wheel and drive myself there." Roland wisely stifled any other protests and started to drive.

As Roland drove, Seto stared out the window, drumming his fingers tunelessly on his briefcase. The scenery whizzed by as they went through upper class neighborhoods, middle class neighborhoods, and then reached the part of town where people automatically lock the car doors upon arrival. Roland automatically locked the car doors.

When at last they pulled up in front of a run-down tenement apartment building, Seto frowned. This was where the mutt lived? No wonder he wanted out so badly. A hooker sitting out on the front steps stood, pulling the already low-cut neckline of her shirt even lower as Seto stepped out of the limo. "Hey, hot thing," she purred. "For fifty bucks, I'll do anything you want."

Seto shoved past the woman and made his way into the building. There was an "Out of Order" sign on the elevator, but Seto wouldn't have trusted that contraption in a place like this anyway. Instead, he went for the stairs, going two at a time. When he left the stairwell and stepped out into the third floor hallway, Seto's ground-eating pace quickened. Someone was shouting, and the voice carried easily through the paper-thin walls.

At the end of the hall, Seto found the door he was looking for. On the other side, he could hear the shouting voice all too clearly. "Stupid! No-good! Worthless!" Seto tested the doorknob, finding that it turned with no resistance. He stepped into the apartment. And gagged, almost stepping back out again. The place reeked of alcohol, garbage, and an unwashed body. Beer bottles littered every available surface – most empty, though some still contained a couple of swallows.

Seto followed the sound of the shouting voice, and within moments came across a man standing in front of a doorway kicking at something. Snarling, Seto grabbed the man's shoulders and slammed him around into the wall. The man's hair might once have been golden, but time had paled it to a dirty dishwater blonde. His eyes might have been the same honey-brown as Joey's, if they hadn't been so bloodshot. The similarities ended there, but the resemblance was just enough to identify this overbearing drunk as Joey's father.

"Don't you touch him!" Seto roared, as he held the older man against the wall. "Don't you ever lay a filthy finger on him again!"

The man blinked bleary bloodshot eyes at Seto, but he didn't struggle. Seto's gaze spoke of a thousand painful deaths to the few primal survival instincts left in the man's booze-soddened mind. "Worthless bas-shtard," he managed to slur. "Won't get up."

Won't get up? Seto hurled the man aside like a broken doll and whirled around, finally allowing himself a look at the thing the man had been kicking. Joey lay face down on the floor, unmoving, a patch of blood seeping through the back of his shirt.


	5. A Bug in the System

**Virtually Yours**

**A Bug in the System**

Joey rose from the fog of sleep slowly, sense by sense. First came the knowledge that he wasn't in his own bed. This bed was too soft and comfortable, not that Joey was going to complain. A clean, antiseptic smell told Joey that he wasn't at Tristan's or Yugi's. Tristan's room had a slightly musty scent laced with a faint tinge of old gym socks, and Yugi's room smelled of vanilla air freshener. Joey heard a TV playing, but it only droned on about mergers and stocks – things which Joey didn't even pretend to understand. Slowly Joey cracked his eyes open.

The room was white and sterile – a hospital room. Joey glanced to his right and frowned. Seto Kaiba was leaning back in the chair beside the bed, arms crossed, one foot propped up on the mattress, gaze fixed on the TV attached to the wall, trademark scowl firmly in place. "Hey," Joey muttered, pretending to be watching the stock reports.

"Stupid mutt," Kaiba sneered, not even bothering to spare Joey a look.

Joey snarled and clenched his fists, or at least he tried to. Frowning, Joey stared at the cast on the wrist that he'd sprained. Already someone had signed it. Joey turned his arm to get a better look.

_Get well soon._

_Virtually Yours,_

_Professor_

"It wasn't a sprain," Kaiba continued as though he hadn't noticed Joey being on the verge of losing his temper. "You've been going around for the past couple of days with a hairline fracture. At least you had the sense to keep it wrapped up. You also have bruised ribs from where that beast was kicking you, some cuts on your back from broken glass, and a nasty bump on the back of your head."

Joey listened as Kaiba cataloged his various boo-boos. None of it sounded all that serious, though when taken altogether the injuries left him aching all over. "Bastard nailed me with a beer bottle," Joey explained with a painful shrug. His ribs were killing him.

"After the heart attack you nearly gave me, Wheeler, you could've at least had one serious injury to make the scare worth it." Joey shot Seto a dirty glare. Wasn't Kaiba ever going to shut up? He didn't want to just lay in bed and be insulted. "By the way, my offer still stands."

Offer? Oh, yeah! The Professor had offered to let Joey come stay with him if the job didn't work out. But Joey wasn't about to let Kaiba off the hook that easily. "So you're going to hire me a lawyer so I can sue the pants off of you for wrongful termination?"

Much to Joey's surprise, Kaiba pulled out his cell phone and began dialing. Gritting his teeth against the pain, Joey sat up and grabbed Kaiba's arm. "It was a joke, you moron!"

Smirking, Kaiba held the phone to Joey's ear. "The time is 8:07 pm," came the time and temperature recording.

"Bastard," Joey growled as he shoved Kaiba back. Then he turned away to hide the fact that he was trying not to smile. Apparently Kaiba did have some shred of a sense of humor in that cold shell he called a heart.

"And a 'jerk-face,'" Kaiba added, putting the phone away. "And let's not forget that I'm an 'ass-hat' as well, and probably any of a number of other unsavory names you've called me. Which is why I can't figure out why you came back to the game. You could have just walked away, Wheeler."

Joey sighed and stared up at the ceiling. He rather lie there and be insulted than talk touchy-feely crap with Kaiba. "I thought about it," Joey answered, figuring he might as well go with honesty. "But I had to come back. Only a coward runs away, and I'm not a coward. Besides, when your brother said you loved 'Merry,' you didn't deny it. You had a right to know who 'Merry' was."

Seto stiffened noticeably and turned back to the TV. Joey noticed and smiled. Apparently Kaiba was as uncomfortable with this conversation as he was. Grunting, Joey rolled over to Kaiba-watch, trying to see something of his Professor in the aloof boy. Ever so softly Joey began to chuckle, the noise causing Kaiba to turn and face him. "You know, it really is very cliché for the knight to come charging in to the rescue. But I appreciate it, Kaiba. Thanks. Now, how about tossing me my clothes so we can blow this place?"

Kaiba rose and left the room, presumably to go sign Joey's discharge papers and pay for this little hospital stint. Joey used the opportunity to put his clothes back on. The act of dressing proved an extremely painful one, every movement pulling at Joey's sore ribs. Once he had his pants on, Joey decided that was plenty. He hurt too much to mess with his shirt.

When Kaiba returned, he led Joey out to his limo. Neither boy spoke as they left the hospital. Joey frowned, disliking the silence. It seemed as though they didn't know how to talk to each other in real life. When he got into Kaiba's limo, Joey's frown deepened at the sight of his backpack sitting on the floor. "I took the liberty of having Roland pack your things," Kaiba explained. "Everything else is in the trunk. You aren't going back to that place."

Joey leaned back in the seat with a noncommittal grunt. He didn't like the idea of Kaiba running his life, even if he did have good intentions about it.

Joey shut his eyes for a few minutes to rest. He still felt a little groggy from whatever painkillers Kaiba had made the doctors pump him full of, even though the pain-killing part had worn off. After a moment, Joey started feeling like he was being watched. Carefully Joey cracked his eyelids open a tiny fraction, only to find Kaiba staring at him. Joey knew he had a set of killer abs more than worthy of a stare or two, but Kaiba wasn't looking down that low. "Penny for your thoughts, Kaiba."

Joey expected Kaiba to snap something about how his high and mighty thoughts were worth so much more than that, but instead all the other boy did was turn his gaze towards the front of the car. If Joey didn't know better, he'd almost think Kaiba was embarrassed. "You don't hide them," Kaiba murmured.

Them? Oh... Joey opened his eyes and sat up. "It's alright to look, Kaiba. I don't care." Slowly, Kaiba turned to look, his face unreadable as he studied the thin lines that criss-crossed Joey's body. "I used to be part of a gang," Joey explained. "That's where most of them came from. My old man mostly used his fists, so I won't have too many reminders of him once the bruises fade." Joey paused before pointing to a couple of old burn scars near his shoulder. "These are from him, though, where he decided to use me to put out his cigarettes."

Figuring he'd said enough, Joey shut his eyes again to allow Seto to stare all he wanted. It was funny, Joey decided, that in the game, he and Kaiba could talk nonstop, yet when in the same room they hardly had a thing to say to each other. "Hey! When you get me settled where ever you want me, I'll probably play Age of Heroes for a while. It'd be nice to have a knight to watch my back."

"What a coincidence." Joey cracked his eyes open a little and was rewarded with seeing Seto smile - not a smirk or a sneer, but a genuine smile. "I happen to know of a helpful knight. I'm sure he'd be glad to meet you back at Lilyvale."

The rest of the ride fell into a discussion of quests for the two boys to send their characters on and what equipment they would need. For the first time, Joey truly felt like he was with the Professor. They were still chattering when they pulled to a stop at the Kaiba Mansion. Kaiba grabbed Joey's backpack and got out of the limo, creating the first conversational lull since they'd started talking about the game.

The driver/butler guy - Roland - popped the trunk to get the rest of Joey's things unloaded. Kaiba came around to Joey's side of the car and offered him a hand out, and the three went inside together. Joey froze and stared, savoring his first glimpse inside the famous Kaiba Manor. Right in front of him was the most gorgeous staircase he had ever seen. From the left and right, marble steps cascaded onto a central landing, where they merged into the single set of stairs that spilled onto the walnut flooring. A wrought-iron banister twisted its way around this veritable waterfall of steps so temptingly that Joey made a mental note to go sliding down it once his ribs stopped killing him.

"Big brother!" a small shape howled in delight as it came flying down the stairs to latch onto Seto. "Are things ok between you and Merry now?"

Seto ruffled Mokuba's hair fondly. "I think so. Merry's going to be staying with us for a while at any rate." The smaller boy's grin became even wider as his gaze moved from his brother, to Roland who was laden with Joey's meager possessions, and at last to Joey himself.

Joey had to give Mokuba some credit - the kid didn't laugh. He looked like he was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from doing so, though. Instead, he relieved Roland of some of Joey's things, and the whole group started up those majestic stairs.

When the reached the room that would be Joey's, he found himself staring once again. His whole apartment could easily fit in this one room. Seto pointed around the room, giving Joey an abrupt tour. "The closet is over there. Bathroom is through that door. My room is next door, and Mokuba's is right across from mine if you should need anything. If you're hungry, let Roland know and he'll bring you some food."

With those words, Seto turned and left, leaving Joey staring after him. Now that was the cold Kaiba he knew. "He's not a bad person." Joey blinked and glanced down at Mokuba. The kid stared off in the direction his brother had gone. "He just keeps everyone at a distance. I don't think he even means to do it anymore. He just does. But I think... I think he really is happy that you're here. Good night, Joey."

Joey watched Mokuba go across the hall to his own room, and then he turned to Roland. Now that food was a possibility in the very near future, Joey had to admit that he was hungry. Now, what did people eat in a place like this? He knew from fish eggs and snails were supposed to be delicacies, but he'd sooner starve. He'd eaten a snail once when Tristan had bet five bucks that he wouldn't. It definitely made his top ten list of Things Not to Eat. Hesitantly, he asked, "Any chance of a turkey sandwich?"

Roland nodded.

"With lettuce and tomato?"

Again Roland nodded. The guy obviously wasn't much of a talker.

"And some coffee?" If he was in for a late night of Age of Heroes, then he might as well make sure he could stay awake for it.

Roland nodded one final time and left to get the food. While Roland was gone, Joey dug through his things until he found his computer. He plugged it in and settled on the bed, sinking into the softest mattress he'd ever lain on. By the time Joey got the computer booted and the game loading, Roland returned with a tray which he set on the beside table. Joey mouthed a "thank you" as he eyed the contents of the tray - a full pot of coffee complete with hot plate to keep it warm, sandwich, chips, a spear pickle, and cookies.

"I was starting to think you weren't coming, mutt."

"Had to find my computer, moneybags," Joey explained through a mouthful of food. "If you were getting worried, you could've checked on me. I am just in the next room, after all."

"Chew and swallow before you talk, mutt. Didn't anyone ever teach you manners?" Kaiba growled.

Joey stuck his tongue out at the computer screen, even though he knew it to be a futile gesture. "Are we going to play or insult each other all night?" Joey was already directing his character to the Item Bank. He knew exactly what he wanted to do, and he'd be damned if a grumpy Kaiba was going to mess it up.

At the Item Bank, Joey began taking out and equipping several things he'd collected. First came the silver bracers, followed up with a silver dagger, and a collection of stakes. "Wheeler, why the hell are you loaded for undead bear?"

"Because, moneybags, we're going to break into the castle up on the mountain and see what kind of treasures we can find!"

"Are you out of your mind!" Seto roared. "That place is a vampire warren! It's suicide to go there! Look, Wheeler, if we go through the front gate, every vampire in that place will know we're coming, and we'll be toast before we get to the castle. If we go climbing the mountain, we won't have any stamina by the time we get to the top, and any monster could come along and pick us off! That place is impenetrable!"

Joey was pleased to note that despite his protests, Seto was also loading up on the silver. Dying in the game wasn't a huge loss. The penalty was a loss of experience and about half of the money a character was carrying. Joey would stash all of his cash in the bank before pulling a risky stunt like this, and he bet that Seto would as well. "Kaiba, we don't know what kind of puzzles we'll face in there. We should bring a wizard into the party so we've got all the angles covered."

"I don't like grouping with strangers, Wheeler." The knight character crossed its arms and somehow managed to pull off a patented Kaiba death glare.

"Fine, fine. No strangers," Joey promised. "There is a wizard in the game we both know." Switching to the text bar, Joey typed, "/find Scarab." Then he swore when he saw the little creep was online. But Kaiba had said no to strangers, so unfortunately this was the only option. Joey sent the invite to join their group.

The wizard that teleported to the inn wasn't bad-looking at all. He was tall and slender, wearing a deep purple robe trimmed in golden arcane symbols. Sea foam green hair curled around his shoulders, and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses perched lightly on his nose. No, looks definitely weren't the problem.

"So the little thief that has stolen my heart needs some help," came an all-too-familiar nasally croak untouched by the game's voice mods.

"Weevil," Seto groaned. "Are you out of your mind, Merry?"

Joey chuckled at the way Seto switched to calling him by the nickname when there was someone else around to listen in.

"You're the one that said no strangers," Joey smirked.

"They don't get any stranger than this guy," Seto countered.

Weevil took hold of Mercutia's arm and drew the character towards him. "Come, my little thief. I know a lovely forest where we can listen to the crickets chirp all night long."

Joey snarled and pulled his character away. Why did everyone who happened to have a pair of gaming gloves think that was a license to manhandle him? "Touch me again, you oversized cockroach, and I'll shove that spellbook up your ass! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm taken, you perv?"

"Really now?" This time it was Kaiba grabbing Joey around the waist and smiling. "Anyone I know?"

Joey froze as warm breath tickled his neck, and a pair of arms encircled his waist. That hadn't just been in the game! Joey pulled off the headpiece and turned to find Kaiba sitting on his bed. "Bastard," Joey murmured as he leaned against Kaiba and put the headpiece back in place. After a moment, Joey sat back up. "You make a bony pillow, Professor."

"Look, bug, I don't want you here, but Merry insists we're going to need a wizard if we're going to break into the vampires' castle." Joey noticed Seto was still holding onto him as he explained what they wanted with Weevil.

"Are you out of your mind?" Weevil shrieked. "No one's ever made it in there! It's... It's character suicide! It can't be done!"

"It can, too!" Joey insisted. "You don't put a place like that in a game like this without a way in! We know what doesn't work. Front gate equals vampire chow. If we climb the mountain, we'll be too tired to move before we're halfway up. How about a levitation spell?"

"No," Weevil sighed. "My magic would be drained before we got to the top, and we'd be dashed to bits on the ground."

"Which means," Joey insisted, "that there's another, less obvious way in. So let's go to the mountain and start searching!"

After some arguing, the unlikely trio made their way to the mountains and began the hunt for a way into the castle. The landscape in this part of the game was fitting for an area of undead. Wind moaned through the branches of leafless trees. Scrubby brush and hunks of rock reminiscent of crouching trolls pocked the landscape. A waterfall cascaded from the mountain onto a nest of jagged rocks before flowing off down the riverbed.

Weevil started searching the mountainside for hidden passages, levitating to likely looking outcroppings. Seto used his warrior's strength to try to push aside the rocks on the ground. Joey stood still, chewing his lip in thought. Somewhere was the right key. They just needed to find it. Since the mountain and the rocks were being covered by the others, Joey began checking out the waterfall. Maybe the rocks around it could be scaled more easily...

Joey pulled out a grapple and gave it a toss. "Shit," he grumbled as his finger slipped on the mouse and he ended up tossing the grapple at the waterfall. The hook went in, much to Joey's surprise. "Guys!" Joey whooped. "Guys, it's the old cave behind the waterfall trick!"

"Good work, Merry." Kaiba murmured in calmly as he and Weevil made their way to the waterfall. Finding the doorway proved to be the easy part. Reaching it, however, was going to be problematic. Kaiba rubbed his chin as he studied the set-up. The trajectory was wrong for swinging into the cave; any attempts would end in a spectacular crash into the rocks below. "I've got it!" Quickly Seto outlined the game plan for getting everyone into the cave.

Seto took the rope and walked away from the waterfall until it was taut. Joey, with a thief's dexterity, fairly flew across the rope and into the cave. "Shit! It's dark in here! We should've sent the roach first to light things up."

"Well, just be patient, puppy. He's on the way." Joey waited until Weevil was safely in the cave before elbowing Seto in the side.

Weevil, meanwhile, cast dancing lights to illuminate the cave. "You know, beautiful, we could just leave him out there. The two of us ought to be more than enough to handle some vampires..."

Joey began grinding his teeth. He was tired of this little punk fawning all over him just because his game character was cute. "Let's get a few things straight, you fucking roach. One - I don't abandon my friends. So you are going to levitate Andiron in here or this quest ends right now. Two - I am a guy with absolutely no interest in a little twerp like you. And three - I still haven't forgiven you for throwing my best pal's Exodia cards into the ocean! Now start making Andiron float, or the next time we bump into each other, I'll kick your scrawny ass!"

Once again Joey felt Seto's arms around his waist. "Do you always bark so much, mutt?" he whispered. Joey didn't respond, trying to stay focused on the game. Weevil had finally cast the levitation spell on the knight, and Joey was busy hauling him into the cave.

By the time Seto was in the cave, Weevil seemed to have gotten over his shock. "Ew!" he gagged. "Ew! Ew! Ew! I can't believe I've been flirting with Wheeler!"

"It hasn't exactly been a thrill ride for me either," Joey harrumphed. "Now let's go."

Even with the dancing lights spell, darkness overwhelmed the cavern. Careful exploration yielded a staircase carved into the cavern stone, a leering angel sculpted overhead. Joey stared up for the short distance that he could see, and let out a low whistle. "Gentlemen, I do believe we are about to ascend into hell."


	6. Bloody Merry on the Rocks

**Author's Note: **I want to thank everyone for all of the very nice reviews! For the curious, the game in the story is loosely based on several games, though the predominant ones are Sierra's Quest for Glory games.

**Virtually Yours**

**Bloody Merry on the Rocks**

Seto stared at the virtual scenery, wondering what he was doing here - "here" being both the cavern beneath the vampire castle with Wheeler and Weevil and, in reality, sitting on the same bed as Wheeler while they played the game. If anyone so much as mentioned fate to him, Seto swore he would strangle them. Only weak-minded, superstitious fools placed any faith in "fate."

Seto briefly lifted his headpiece to watch the mutt, whose attention seemed to be focused solely on the game. Little did Wheeler know he'd almost been left alone at the hospital. Once the doctors had assured him that the mutt wasn't seriously hurt, Seto had decided to call one of Wheeler's friends to stay with him and then sneak out. When the older Motou answered, however, Seto had learned that Yugi and the rest of his cheerleaders were spending the summer touring the Duel Monsters circuit, and had been gone since the first week of summer break. And so Seto had been unable to foist the mutt off on someone else make an escape.

Wheeler, at least, didn't seem to hold much of a grudge. When he'd awakened, Seto had expected him to lose his temper right off the bat. Of course, things hadn't proceeded like a drugstore bodice ripper either. There were no professions of undying love; no passionate love-making in the hospital bed; not even a spontaneous kiss. Real life never worked that way, and Seto didn't know whether or not to be grateful or disappointed.

With an idle smile, Seto reached out to scratch Wheeler's back. "Mmmm," came Wheeler's contented sigh. "That feels- Shit! Under attack!"

Quickly Seto pulled the headpiece back down, refocusing his attention on the game. A flock of vampire bats surrounded the adventures on what Wheeler had labelled the "Ascension to Hell." Seto and Wheeler automatically moved their characters so that they were back-to-back. Weevil took up a position beside Wheeler, casting fireball spells. Seto nodded in approval at this set-up. The kid had enough battle sense to know that his spells would compensate for the shorter reach of Wheeler's dagger.

The bats fell quickly against the combined attack of the heroes. "Weak monsters," Seto snorted in disgust as the last bat vanished. After the challenges of making it to the stairway, he'd expected something stronger. The game programmers would hear from him about this.

"But a lot of them," Wheeler murmured, interrupting Seto's internal rant. "I bet that we'll run into more up ahead to. If we keep having to do minor healings, we won't have any health supplies left when we reach the castle."

"Like in a duel!" Weevil blurted. "The little bugs can be just as devastating as the huge dragons if used properly." Seto let out a disgusted snort. If the little roach knew who his gaming partner was, he'd never have made that comparison.

"So," Wheeler murmured. "We need to figure out a way up this stairway that lead us to more bats. Any ideas, Professor?"

"None," Seto grumbled.

"But you-"

In the real world, Seto slapped a hand over Wheeler's mouth. "Pardon us a moment, Scarab," he said to the wizard in the game. He took off his headpiece and then did the same with Wheeler's. "You were fixing to say, 'But you designed the game,' weren't you, mutt?"

Wheeler nodded, and Seto groaned. Of all the stupid, idiotic ideas... "I'm only going to explain this once, so pay attention. My company designed the game, not me specifically. I heard the pitch for the game, signed off some approvals, looked over reports on how production progressed and how the game tested. Do you think I'm such a control freak that I went over every single aspect of the game with every single member of the production team?"

Again, Wheeler nodded, this time eliciting a faint smirk from Seto. "Yeah, ok, I am. Unfortunately there aren't enough hours in the day, and there were other projects that needed my attention. In other words, I'm as clueless as you are about what lies ahead." With that, Seto put the headpiece back on and returned his attention to the game. "Thanks for waiting."

"No problem," Weevil said. "It gave me some time to think."

"Bet that hurt, roach," Joey muttered, and Seto had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. He must be rubbing off on his mutt, Seto decided.

"Anyway," Weevil continued as though Wheeler hadn't interrupted. "If these bats operate like real bats, they navigate by sound. If we make a loud enough noise, it might throw them into enough confusion that, if we hurry, we might be able to make it up the stairs."

The kid had a good idea, Seto admitted to himself. At least, it would've been a good idea if they had a way to make that kind of noise. There were no sound spells, though, and it wasn't like Seto could make a cd start blaring into the game at full blast.

"Well?" Weevil asked when there were no immediate cries of approval. Seto and Joey both gave noncommittal grunts. "You dolts! Don't you see this is another one of those teamwork puzzles? Andiron, unequip your sword and equip a second shield. You'll need to take the rear."

A knight without a sword? What kind of fool did Weevil think he was? "Just trust me, knight. I can make the noise, but when I do, we'll need a good strong carapace to protect us from getting squished."

Squished? Seto and Joey both looked up. "You are one crazy fucking roach," Wheeler gasped, summing up Seto's own thoughts perfectly. Descending from the darkness overhead were thousands of stalactites. Seto equipped the second shield.

"Gentlemen, let's rock and roll!" Fireballs flew from the wizard's fingers, arching for the stalactites overhead. Booming echoed through the cavern stairwell as the fireballs impacted against their target, followed by a deafening rumble. Stalactites dropped from above, smashing thunderously upon the stairs.

The small group began their charge for safety. Rocks pinged and clanked off of Seto's shields as he kept them raised to shelter himself and his party. Swooping bats keened their confusion, unable to locate their quarry amidst the noise and falling debris. Occasional the flight path of one of the unfortunate beasts took it into the shelter of Seto's shields, where it would quickly be dispatched by Joey's ready dagger.

A door loomed ahead - the end was in sight! "Wheeler, door!" Seto ordered, willing to bet his entire company that the door would be locked.

"Already on it!" The three huddled against the door, Seto shielding and Joey working the lock. With a click, the door swung open and all three lunged inside. "Let's do that again!" Joey whooped, leaning back against Seto. The sudden closeness startled Seto, but he accepted it, once again encircling his arms around the other boy. Seto held Joey against him, resting his chin on top of Joey's head. "And to think, Professor," Joey murmured. "You were the one that didn't want to join up with a wizard."

"Guys?" Weevil's cringing whimper broke up the moment. Quickly Seto looked around this new room - something he normally would've done immediately. If the mutt was going to be this distracting in the game, there was no telling how devastating daily life was going to be.

It only took seconds to spot the thing that had worried the mage. Curled at the foot of a ladder lay a creature that was a mixture of woman, lion, and eagle - a sphinx. The beast had seen far better days. Seto could easily count the ribs on her human torso and lion's body. Dust and grime dulled her tawny coat, and bedraggled wings hung limply on the ground. Seto's eyes trailed a chain that went from the center of the room to a manacle clamped onto one of the sphinx's back legs. The length of the chain would allow her to pace the circumference of the room and no more. This place was her cage.

The monster sat up and regarded the players curiously, feline eyes glittering in a human face. "To pass be me, thou must answer riddles three. If thou dost not succeed, on thy bones shalt I feed." On the last word, the sphinx curled her lips back in a gruesome smile, revealing fangs that looked more at home in a lion's mouth.

Riddles? Seto swore under his breath. He thought too logically to be any good at riddles. "Not riddles!" came two simultaneous groans from Joey and Weevil. No wonder the vampires' castle had never been breached, Seto decided. Players were probably ready for the loony bin if they'd made it this far. At least when it came to riddles, Seto had a secret weapon. "Wheeler, go get my brother."

"You get him," Joey grumbled. "I'm still hurting." Seto almost slapped himself for forgetting. Wheeler's cheer and vigor in the game made it easy to overlook his injuries. And, despite not being serious, they had to be quite painful still.

Reluctantly, Seto hauled himself off the bed and crossed the hall to his brother's room. Seeing a light under the door, Seto had to smile. It looked as though he and Joey weren't the only ones having a late night. Seto tapped lightly at the door. Immediately the light went out, and a voice that sounded thick with sleep called softly, "Who's there?"

Seto cracked the door open. "Hey, little brother," he whispered. Mokuba was sitting up in bed, pretending to rub the sleep from his eyes. It was an Oscar-winning performance. Seto strolled to his brother's bed, noting how the kid pressed back against the pillow as he approached. "Wheeler and I need your help, Mokuba. We're up against a sphinx that wants to hurl riddles at us."

Letting out a huge and, Seto suspected, phony yawn, Mokuba stretched and climbed out of bed. In an instant, Seto grabbed Mokuba's pillow and looked beneath, grimacing as he realized that his baby brother had been sitting up late with a Playboy magazine. "It's not what you think!" Mokuba squeaked, making a grab for the magazine, only to have Seto beat him to it. "I was just looking at the articles!"

"Solve the riddles for us, and I'll forget you had this," Seto muttered as he went back to Joey's room. Mokuba followed. When he returned, Seto tossed the offending skin mag onto the bedside table and resumed his position at the computer. Mokuba settled beside him, eyes fixed on the screen. Seto clicked his mouse on the sphinx and the first riddle appeared onscreen with a text box below it for someone to supply the answer.

_"You heard me before,  
Yet you hear me again,  
Then I die,  
'Till you call me again."_

"You dragged me out of bed for this," Mokuba grumbled indignantly. "The answer is an echo. Sheesh! Give me a hard one!" Seto's fingers flew across the keyboard as he typed in "echo" and hit Enter. The sphinx made no move to eat anyone, so Seto assumed the answer was correct. He clicked on the sphinx again for the next riddle.

"_With thieves I consort,  
With the vilest, in short,  
I'm quite at ease in depravity;  
Yet all divines use me,  
And savants can't lose me,  
For I am the center of gravity."_

Mokuba began chewing his lower lip as he thought. Seto could hear him mumbling the riddle under his breath, occasionally repeating a line several times before moving on to the next. Suddenly his little hand darted out to hit a single letter on the keyboard and then Enter. Seto tensed, expecting the sphinx to attack, but nothing happened. Mokuba grinned impishly at his brother. "The center of gravity is 'v.'" Seto rolled his eyes and brought up the final riddle.

"_What does man love more than life  
Fear more than death or mortal strife  
What the poor have, the rich require,  
and what contented men desire,  
What the miser spends and the spendthrift saves  
And all men carry to their graves"_

Mokuba only read through the riddle once this time before he started giggling. "And what does Joey have in his head?" Seto raised a questioning eyebrow. "Why, nothing, of course!"

"Hey! That's not funny!" Joey growled. Seto just smirked and typed in the answer, hitting Enter one last time.

The sphinx rose and stepped away from the ladder. "Farewell, my would-be meal. Into the castle, you may steal." Seto started up the ladder, followed by Weevil, but he stopped as he saw Joey was hanging back. Seto pulled off the headpiece and glanced over at Joey's computer to see what he was doing. He had his inventory screen open. He selected the food rations which could be used to recover a small amount of health, and clicked them on the sphinx. The beast wasted no time in devouring the meager meal. When the food was gone, the sphinx turned its attention back to the players. "A boon will thou grant? I'll give items to enchant."

Joey hesitated only briefly before agreeing to help the sphinx. Once he agreed, however, the sphinx began speaking again. "Around the neck of the Vampire King is a key on a ring. If it thou can find, these chains can unbind. Once more I can soar, a prisoner nevermore!"

Seto gave Joey's shoulder a quick pat. "Good job finding us a quest on this treasure hunt."

Up the ladder the three heroes scurried. At the top, they found themselves in a what could only be a dungeon. A brief exploration yielded only medieval torture devices and old bones. The treasures of the castle were further on.

"Let's not go too fast, Andiron," Weevil murmured. "This place is probably full of twists and turns. I've got some graph paper, so I can map it as we go along so we won't get lost." As much as he hated the little creep, Seto had to admit to himself that Weevil was certainly proving useful.

And so began the exploration. Seto took the lead. As a knight, he had the strongest physical strength of the group, which made him perfect for getting in the first attack and weakening any vampires they ran into. Once the rooms were cleared of monsters, Joey searched the room for treasures while Weevil worked on his map. In this way they progressed.

"Just call me 'Joey the Vampire Slayer,'" Joey quipped at one point, after staking a particularly nasty vampire. Weevil cackled at the joke. Seto, however, shrugged it off, not getting it.

On the third floor up from the dungeon, the group came across a door that was different from the others. Instead of plain wood, gold and jewels were embedded in the door. "Think we've found the throne room?" Seto asked.

"Yeah," Joey responded. "I bet we have. Let's see if we've got a Vampire King in there!"

As guessed, the doors opened onto a throne room. Two vampires lounged at the foot of the throne, and one sat upon it. Seto felt the blood drain from his face as he gazed upon the monsters. Each wore a face he knew far too well. On the Vampire King's right crouched a vampire with a shock of platinum hair curtaining half his face. He saluted the adventurers with a raise of a goblet of what Seto hoped was wine. The vampire on the left merely watched with bright bi-color eyes. Hair of the palest turquoise cascaded down its back, and it's bangs formed a zig-zagging frame around the sharp planes of a princely face. A hungry tongue darted out briefly between his fangs.

But it was the Vampire King that held Seto's gaze. He wore the face of Seto's own personal monster. "Gozaburo." The name came out in a soft whisper as Seto struggled to keep the fear out of his voice. How many times would this demon have to be destroyed before it stayed dead?


	7. A Stake Dinner

**Virtually Yours**

**A Stake Dinner**

Joey froze in the doorway, staring in the throne room at the vampires. Either Seto had been lying about how much input he'd had in the game's development, or someone on the production crew had a particularly nasty sense of humor. Pegasus and Dartz crouched at the feet of some old fart that Joey presumed was the Vampire King.

"Gozaburo." Joey frowned at the whispered name. Seto's father? What was he doing in the game? Beside him, Joey could feel Seto tense up.

Hoping that the Vampire King would start up a villainous monologue before attacking, Joey snuck a quick peek at Seto. All color had bled out of the boy's face as he remained riveted by the images on the visor-screen. Seto's jaw clenched and unclenched convulsively, but otherwise he remained still. That, Joey knew, was not a good sign. Seto might normally keep to himself, but he always had some snarky remark to unleash. Joey reached out to give Seto's hand a gentle squeeze, but Seto jerked away as though Joey's touch burned.

Through the earpiece, Joey could hear the Vampire King talking. Good. That meant there was time to snap Seto out of whatever this was. "Pitiful mortals, how dare you invade my fortress! You will pay for this insolence!"

That didn't sound good! "Weevil, something's wrong with Andiron. If the vamps attack, can you hold them off?"

"I'm a gaming geek, Wheeler, not a miracle worker!" the mage snapped back.

Mokuba pulled Seto's computer into his lap. "I'll back him up." Already the kid's fingers were flying across the keys, checking Seto's inventory, abilities, and equipped items.

"No!" Seto blurted, and Joey relaxed a little as he saw color start to return to his face. He pulled the computer away from Mokuba. "Mutt, I don't care who kills Pegasus and Dartz, but Gozaburo is mine." There was that icy tone Wheeler knew so well. It didn't look like Kaiba was going to let a little thing like near-petrifying fear get in his way, instead he was going to put his emotions into lock-down.

At a terrified squeal from Weevil, Joey whipped his attention back to the game. The two lesser vampires were closing in on the group, swords drawn. Joey lunged for the Pegasus vampire. "Roach, clear the Professor a way to the Vampire King!" Joey's dagger flashed between Pegasus and Dartz. Since Joey's character lacked physical strength, he depended on his speed to keep the vampires away.

As he fought, Joey found himself backing into a corner. Pegasus's sword glinted in the torchlight, ready to deliver a killing blow, when suddenly the vampire slammed into the ceiling. "Mages rule, thieves drool!" Weevil crowed.

"Yeah, that was pretty cool," Joey admitted, equipping a wooden stake and hurling it in Weevil's direction. The mage ducked with a yelp, as the stake rammed into its intended target. The Dartz vampire roared in pain, but didn't dissolve into ashes. "Damn. Missed the heart." Weevil rolled, and cast fireball to incinerate the vampire.

Joey started using the Pegasus on the ceiling for target practice. The vampires bothered him, and not just the fact that they wore the faces of past enemies. They didn't act entirely right. Pegasus, for instance, should have been babbling annoying inanities. Instead, though, he behaved as a game monster – all attack and no personality.

"Get him, Seto!" Mokuba shouted.

Joey finished off the Pegasus vampire and turned to watch as Seto made it to the Vampire King. Both hero and monster closed in on each other, swords at the ready. Seto struck first, a quick feint to test the monster's defenses. Gozaburo easily parried the attack.

Then Gozaburo swung his sword. The blade struck Seto in the side, cleaving away about a third of his health. Joey stared in surprise as Seto's health meter on the Party Status screen sprang back to full. "Wheeler!" Weevil shouted. "I can cast Heal two more times before my magic runs out!"

Joey brought up his inventory screen. Seto might get to kill the Gozaburo vampire all on his own, but that didn't mean that he and Weevil couldn't watch his back. Taking out a Magic Restorative, Joey dropped it near Weevil. The mage grabbed up the potion, and soon Joey saw his magic level raise on the Party Status window. Joey said a quiet prayer that he had enough Magic Restoratives to last the entire battle.

"Die!" Joey heard Seto growl with each strike - a growl that slowly rose in volume until Seto was screaming that one word at the creature that wore his father's face.

"Personally, I think 'Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.' makes a better battle cry," Weevil murmured.

Joey shook his head. "Not in this case, roach." Joey would have bet his entire dueling deck that if the Vampire King had looked like anyone else, and if Seto knew the movie, he'd never use that particular line. The Professor's words came back to haunt Joey. "I know what it's like to be abused, Merry. I've been in your shoes." Shutting his eyes, Joey tried to imagine the untouchable Seto Kaiba as a child, cowering from the brute he now battled.

"Score! You did it!" Joey's eyes flew open just in time to see the Vampire King crumbling. He'd missed the finishing blow, but Seto had won. That was the important thing. Without a word, Seto looted the Vampire King's remains, grabbing the key needed to free the sphinx. Since they had what they came for, Seto started for the door.

Wordlessly, Joey followed. He hoped he'd get a chance to talk to Seto about what had happened, but that would have to wait. He couldn't bring himself to broach the subject with Weevil listening in. Even Weevil seemed subdued, as if he knew that this victory was tainted somehow. Barring the occasional "turn here" from Weevil, the three retraced their steps back to the sphinx in silence.

The sphinx was right where they'd left her. Seto unlocked the manacle that bound her leg. "I thank thee, heroes three, for freeing me," the sphinx purred. "Now that I may leave this loathsome bower, I shalt grant thee great power. Dear knight so strong, seeking to right all wrong, before me thou must kneel. Upon thee, I bestow Paladin Heal."

Seto knelt to receive the new ability. On the Party Status screen, Joey watched as a Magic bar appeared beneath Seto's Health bar. Apparently now Seto was a knight capable of using magic, though Joey bet the spells that Seto could use were limited. Magic based on job class. That might prove useful.

"Little thief, nimble and quick," the sphinx continued. "To thee I grant a new trick. To get out of danger thou knowest too well, here is a vanishing spell." As with Seto, a bar to measure magic appeared beneath Joey's health bar. Joey opened his personal character status screen and grinned as he saw the new Vanish ability listed there. He couldn't wait to get in a battle to try it.

"Wizard studying magic's lore," the sphinx droned on, almost through with her spiel. "Now mayest thou summon beasts of yore. Creatures thou dost befriend, into battle thou may send. Upon me thou mayest call, and before me, thy enemies shall fall." Joey let out a low whistle, feeling quite impressed. A monster summoning ability would be an awesome addition to any battle, especially when the creature summoned was as amazing as the sphinx.

Without another word, the sphinx bounded out of the room that had been her prisoner. "Any objections to going back to Lilyvale?" Seto asked. No objections were raised, and so Seto activated a teleport scroll to whisk them all safely back to the town. As soon as they were in Lilyvale, Seto logged off of the game. Worried, Joey also logged off without saying farewell to Weevil.

"Get to bed now, Mokuba," Seto was saying in a tone that brooked no argument. Joey watched, wondering how long Seto was going to stay in Ice Prince mode. Mokuba, being familiar with Seto's moods, left the room, with Seto following.

Joey rose and went to the doorway, watching the brothers leave. Mokuba went to his room, and Seto kept walking. Frowning, Joey trailed after Seto, through the long hallways of the manor and out a back door into a garden. Joey stopped on the porch as Seto strode barefoot across the lawn.

When Seto came to a stop, he stared up at the sky, arms crossed in his typical "leave me alone" body language. For a while Joey listened to the body language and kept his distance. But when Seto showed no sign of coming inside soon, Joey went out to join him. "Y'know, I really am an idiot."

"Heh." The sarcastic near laugh almost made Joey smile. This Seto he knew all too well. Joey wasn't about to let Seto put him off easily, though. "I mean it," he sighed, looking up at the stars, trying to guess which ones held Seto's attention. "I should've seen it earlier. But I'm just so used to you being, well, you that I didn't realize you were hiding your scars. I saw some of them tonight, though – some of the emotional ones anyway." What Joey didn't say was that he should've realized Seto was trying to hide earlier. After all, what kind of freak wore turtlenecks in the middle of summer?

"That wasn't Gozaburo," Seto sighed. "But someone slapped his face on a game character. I'm going to find out who it did it and make their life a living hell."

"You do that," Joey murmured. He took Seto gently be the arm and began leading him inside. Dewy grass bits clung to their feet, but neither even thought to wipe their feet as they went inside. Joey didn't much feel like going to bed, and he doubted Seto did either. "Let's go to the kitchen."

"Do you always think about food, mutt?" Seto grumbled, taking the lead.

The kitchen proved to be a chef's Food Network wet dream. Every fancy gadget imaginable decorated the counters. Joey paid no attention, though, as he started rummaging through the cabinets. He didn't need any high tech equipment for what he was going to do. Knowing his luck, if Joey tried to use the fancy stuff, he figured he'd end up blowing himself up.

So instead, he dug through cabinet after cabinet, setting out the items he needed. Seto sat at the counter and watched. Milk, chocolate, brown sugar, and vanilla were soon simmering together on the stove. Seto inched closer, sniffing, mouth opened slightly in surprise. "I didn't know you could cook."

"This is hardly cooking," Joey snorted. "But, yeah, I can cook. I've pretty much been taking care of myself since my mom split." He flashed Seto his goofball grin, that he hid behind. Joey's tactics were completely different from Seto's – when he wanted to hide his thoughts, he played the fool. "I know enough not to poison myself."

Satisfied that the concoction was finished, Joey went to a cabinet he'd remembered from his previous search and pulled out two mugs. He poured the mixture into the mugs, adding a dollop of real whipped cream and sprinkling cinnamon on top. Seto took a mug and stared at it. "I can't remember the last time I had hot chocolate," he admitted.

Joey blew on his mug before taking a sip. "You don't know movies, you don't get TV jokes, and you've forgotten what hot chocolate is like? He really stole your childhood, didn't he?"

Seto nodded and then took a cautious sip. Joey didn't press Seto into talking about his past. If Seto wanted to talk about it, he would. They finished off the hot chocolate in silence, and then Joey rinced the dishes and put the dishes into the dishwasher. The whole scene felt ludicrously domestic.

Once everything was put back in its place, Seto led Joey back upstairs. When they reached Joey's room, Seto pushed his way in and began gathering up his laptop. He set it on the floor, out of the way so it wouldn't get stepped on, and then he did the same for Joey's clunker of a computer. Joey, meanwhile, sprawled back across the bed, ready to drift off into dream land.

A weight settled beside Joey, and he turned to stare. Seto's deep gaze met Joey's in a silent challenge. "You can't tell me where to sleep," those eyes seemed to say. And so he didn't. He was too tired to argue. "Good night, Kaiba," Joey mumbled, rolling over and turning his back to Seto. They could fight in the morning, or hunt down the stupid sap that modeled the Vampire King after Gozaburo and take their frustrations out on him.

"Good night, mutt," Seto whispered in the darkness.


	8. If the Coffin is Rocking

**Virtually Yours**

**If the Coffin is Rocking, Don't Come A-Knocking**

"Seto... Seto..." A finger tapped continuously at Seto's forehead, attempting to jar him into wakefulness. Seto let out a sleepy growl and rolled, burying his face in the solid warmth beside him. The tapping stopped, only to be replaced by a hand lightly stroking his hair. Seto lolled his head back into that gentle touch. Behind him, Mokuba started giggling.

Behind...? Seto's eyes flew open in a panic as he jerked away from the person in the bed that was not his brother. The mutt stared back at him, a smile playing about his lips. "You always so jumpy when you wake up?"

Again Mokuba's soft laugh came from behind him. Seto turned to find his brother sitting on the bed grinning. "If you think this is bad, wait until he realizes he's overslept." Seto flicked his gaze to the clock and bit back a curse. He should have been at work two hours ago!

Seto shoved past Joey, rolling off the bed. He had no time to waste on morning pleasantries. "You two are coming with me," Seto shouted over his shoulder. "So get ready!" He wanted witnesses when he confronted his game programmers - people who also saw the Vampire King as Gozaburo. There would be no claims of hallucinations or nervous breakdowns, the latter of which Seto knew wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility with the way he pushed himself at work.

Fifteen minutes later, Seto was showered and dressed, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited in the hallway. "Wheeler!" he shouted, pounding on the door. "Hurry up!" Another ten minutes passed before Joey finally came out of the bedroom, hair still wet from the shower.

Seto latched onto Joey's arm and began dragging. They should have been at the Kaiba Corp building long ago, not still lolly-gagging around the house. "Seto," Joey whined, drawling out the name piteously. "I'm hungry!"

"We don't have time for breakfast," Seto snarled as they reached the waiting limo. He slung Joey into the seat. Mokuba followed, taking the middle. As Seto settled in the back of the limo, he took out his laptop and began to work. He would need every spare minute to make up for his oversleeping. The clicking of computer keys filled the backseat as Seto lost himself in the spreadsheet, until a loud gurgle from Joey's stomach interrupted the steady rhythm.

Sighing, Seto gave Roland the order to stop someplace where they could get a quick breakfast to go. The limo was too long to easily navigate the close-together turns of a drive-thru, so instead Roland ended up parking at McDonalds. He took everyone's orders and went inside, soon returning with the food. Seto relieved Roland of the heart attack in a bag and cup holder full of drinks, and distributed the food while the butler resumed driving.

Seto sipped at a cup of watered down caffeine that the restaurant passed off as coffee, while Mokuba and Joey tore into the food. Suddenly a sausage biscuit was thrust under his nose. Seto frowned and turned to glare at Joey, who just smiled in response. "Here, Kaiba. Coffee isn't breakfast." Grimacing, Seto took the biscuit and began nibbling at it. It was hardly what he would consider food, but at least it didn't kill him.

By the time they arrived at Kaiba Corp, Seto had only nibbled his way through half of the biscuit. The three must have made quite a sight, Seto decided, as they strolled in right at nine. Employees openly gawked as the ever-punctual Seto Kaiba thundered through the building, biscuit in one hand, coffee in the other, almost three hours later than his usual arrival time. Their shocked gazes followed the tiny parade, traveling over Mokuba, who was lugging along Seto's briefcase, his jelly-covered mouth parted in a wide smile, and the blonde street punk in the faded jeans and t-shirt licking grease off his fingers.

Seto led his two odd shadows to a meeting room and once they were inside, slammed the door so hard that the windows shook. He wanted everyone to know exactly what sort of mood he was in. "Mokuba, get my computer hooked up to the projector," Seto ordered, before grabbing up the room's phone and hitting the All Page button. "All character designers for Age of Heroes drop whatever you're doing and report to meeting room 6D with your character design portfolios. If you are not here in the next five minutes, you can start looking for work elsewhere!" Seto slammed the phone down, letting the clatter resound through the intercom system. He tossed a watch to Joey and settled back in a chair, scowling. "Start timing, mutt."

"One minute and fifty-seven seconds," Joey announced when people started filing in, many huffing for breath. When Joey announced five minutes, Seto signaled for Mokuba to lock the door. Then he turned to address the character designers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I won't waste time dickering around because I know your time is as valuable as mine. So, to get straight to the point, I want to know who was responsible for designing the Vampire King." A timid, quavering hand rose into the air. Seto nodded calmly. "You stay. The rest of you get back to work."

The single designer left behind squinted myopically across the table at Seto, clutching his portfolio folder to chest. "What the hell kind of sick joke were you trying to pull?" Seto roared, descending on the little man like the wrath of God.

"S-s-sir?" the designer stuttered, staring at Seto in confused fear.

Seto pulled up screenshots of his fight with the Vampire King, displaying them on the projector screen. The trembling character designer stared at the screen, and then began rummaging through his portfolio. "That's not... That's not my design!" He spread several pages across the table, featuring a young, pale warrior with white-blonde hair cascading down his back. "That... That's the Vampire King, s-sir."

"Get out," Seto snarled. "Get back to work. Tell the programmers to delete and reload the files for the Vampire King." He swiped the drawings off the table and held them up, comparing them to the Gozaburo vampire. So, this hadn't been a design prank. "Hack job," Seto muttered. He closed his eyes and thought, plotting out his next move.

"I want to know exactly what was done to my game," Seto growled suddenly, springing into motion. He grabbed the phone, dialing the extension for his chief programmer. "Isolate the Age of Heroes game servers. Kaiba Corp network only should have access. Put a note on the main website that the servers are down for testing and will be back up again tomorrow. And get the VR pods active. Set them up to run Age of Heroes."

Hanging up, Seto turned his attention to his computer, accessing his personal database of Duelists. Joey and Mokuba watched Seto's every move on the projector screen. When he had what he wanted, Seto tossed his phone to Joey. "Call Weevil. I'll have Roland drive out to pick him up. We're going to need a mage."

Joey raised an eyebrow, but wisely kept his mouth shut as he dialed the number on the screen. Trusting Joey with this simple task, Seto turned his attention to dialing the extensions for several programmers that he trusted. He was going to need a capable team to monitor the game while they were in it.

"Come on." Seto took the lead, guiding Joey and Mokuba deep into the bowels of the Kaiba Corp building. They might as well not have been there, though, for all the attention he gave them. With his nose buried in his day planner, Seto dialed up the day's appointments to reschedule. In a monotonous chatter, he apologized, offered the excuse of a company emergency that required his personal attention, and offered a new time. Occasionally he had to hold the phone away from his ear so that the shouts of an angry executive wouldn't burst his eardrum.

When at last they reached the sub-basement where the virtual reality pods were stored, the cell phone was put away. Programmers and technicians busied themselves with connecting the pods to Kaiba Corp's network servers and configuring them for Age of Heroes. For a moment, Seto felt a brief qualm. The last time he'd used this equipment, the Big Five had trapped him in his own game. "What's the status on the Vampire King?" he called out.

"The corrupted file has been removed from the game and replaced with the original. We've got it stored to study the coding later. The game coding still seems to be sound." came the response.

"Delete the corrupted Vampire King files," Seto snarled. He wanted all traces of Gozaburo's image wiped out of his game. "There are at least two more corrupted characters that you can study for a hacker's calling card later." Despite the fact that his orders ran counter to the usual company protocol, the Gozaburo Vampire King files were deleted.

"I demand to know what's going on!" came a nasally yell. Seto turned to the door in time to see Roland dragging Weevil in. The boy had obviously disregarded Joey's call to get ready to be picked up, as he was still in his pajamas. Seto regarded the ladybug patterned cotton pants and plain white tank top t-shirt with a trace of amusement.

"Yo, roach!" Joey shouted in greeting. Seeing a familiar, friendly face seemed to help Weevil relax. The boy straightened his glasses and looked around, taking in his surroundings for the first time. "The Professor, over there," Joey said as he jerked his thumb in Seto's direction, "hasn't graced us lowly peons with his plan yet, but I'd guess we're going back to the vampire castle."

Weevil gasped as realization hit like an invisible hammer right between the eyes. "You mean I was gaming with Kaiba last night?" His eyes widened as a look of unadulterated hero worship filled his face.

Seto shuddered and pointed to one of the pods. "Just get in." Joey and Weevil each took a pod without complaint. Seto followed their example, pushing back a nervous qualm. Once he was settled, he gave the technicians the signal to begin.

A moment of bodiless disorientation filled Seto's senses as the world he knew faded around him. When the world took shape again, Seto found himself standing in front of a log-in screen. A keyboard appeared in front of Seto's fingers and he entered his login name and password. Next, he was prompted to select a character, though he only had one set up to choose from. When he chose "Andiron" and confirmed his selection, another wave of disorientation hit.

"Oh, shit!" Seto's eyes flew open at the feminine yelp. Wheeler was running his hands up and down his body, exploring the curves that he'd never had before. "Oh, shit! I've got boobs!" Seto ran his eyes up and down the body appreciatively, enjoying the sight of his Merry in the virtual flesh.

"Let me see!" Weevil lunged, making a grab for Wheeler.

"Perv!" Wheeler snarled, promptly introducing Weevil to his right hook and then scampering behind Seto.

"You dorks," Seto muttered with a soft snicker. Stepping to the side, Seto draped a gauntleted arm around Joey's shoulders. "Don't worry. I won't let the big, bad mage get you, mutt. After all, I saw you first."

"Are you guys through horsing around yet?" Mokuba's disembodied voice filtered around the three.

Joey started giggling. "God? Is that you?"

"Close enough," came Mokuba's response. "I've accessed the Party Chat system so I don't get left out of the fun. In this form of the game, you guys are going to have key words to open and close menus and access your abilities. The words you want are 'activate' and 'terminate.' You might want to practice a bit before leaving the town."

Mokuba's advice was sound. They wouldn't last long if they weren't familiar with the gaming system. They spent several minutes practicing opening and closing different menus. Seto could see the ones that he opened, but not the ones the others did. He was just about to suggest moving on when Joey said, "Activate Ability Vanish!"

Seto frowned and looked around, as Joey disappeared. Suddenly Weevil let out a yelp, clutching at his backside. "He kicked me!" Seto gave up all attempts at remaining aloof, and howled with laughter. Give him the ability to turn invisible and he went around pulling childish pranks - how like the mutt!

Invisible arms wrapped around Seto's waist, followed by the command to end the Vanish ability. Seto ruffled the hair of Joey's game body. "Let's get some supplies and go."

Lilyvale was eerily still without other players running around on various tasks. The three hurried with their shopping, eager to get on the road and out of the virtual ghost town. By the time they reached the waterfall, however, Seto would have given anything for the peace and quiet of Lilyvale.

"Please, Wheeler!" Weevil pleaded for what felt like the hundredth time. "Please! Just one feel! Have pity! I'm a scrawny, nerdy, gaming geek! Do you have any idea how that affects my chances with the attractive female populace? Please! Please! Please!"

Seto groaned and rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. "Weevil, if he lets you cop a feel, will you shut up?" Weevil's head bobbed up and down in an eager affirmative. "Fine. Mutt, let him grope you."

"What!" Joey shrieked indignantly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Not a chance!"

"Please! Please!" Weevil began again. Joey ignored him and got out a grappling hook. As he was getting ready to throw, however, Weevil took his chance. Coming from behind, Weevil wrapped his arms around Joey and let his fingers explore.

Joey shrieked again, elbowing Weevil in the stomach. The mage fell backwards, gasping in pain. "Activate, Menu, Party Status," Seto murmured as Joey drew his dagger and began stabbing. When Weevil's health was halfway gone, Seto grabbed Joey's arm. "That's enough. We do need him, after all."

With a growl, Joey tossed Weevil a healing potion. "Next time I see Tea," he muttered, "I'm apologizing for every harassing thing I've ever done. Well, except for the Panty Tank. She kicked my ass good over that one." Seto opened his mouth to ask, but then decided that he was better off not knowing what the "Panty Tank" was, especially since he had an impressionable younger brother listening in.

Joey grabbed his discarded grappling hook and tossed it into the waterfall without further incident. Before taking his turn across the rope, Weevil grinned at Seto and gave him a thumbs up. "It was worth it," he declared.

The dash to the sphinx's room went more smoothly than it had the previous night. Knowing the path and how to avoid the monsters helped tremendously. The sphinx had respawned by this time and was once again laying by the ladder leading into the castle. She regarded them coolly when they entered her prison. "Thou hast returned. For what more dost thou yearn?"

The sphinx yawned and moved away from the ladder without offering any riddles. Seto frowned, wondering if there was a trick involved. "Mokuba, find out if the sphinx is programmed to remember players who've already solved her riddles."

There was a bit of muffled conversation which Seto strained in vain to hear, and then his brother answered. "She's not. Players are supposed to solve her riddles every time they come through. There's a bank of riddles that she draws from at random."

Seto's frown deepened at that. So the sphinx was another hacked character. "Get someone on to analyzing her coding while she's active in the game. Don't delete her unless a viral presence is detected or the hacked coding proves to be malicious to the game. Now, who wants to try to get by her first?"

"Go on, go on," the sphinx grumbled, stretching her wings. "We've already had our fun." Joey slipped behind Weevil and shoved him towards the ladder. Weevil squealed in terror, covering his eyes as he went flying by the ladder and crashing into the sphinx.

When the sphinx made no move to turn Weevil into lunch, Joey and Seto started up the ladder. They were halfway up when Joey shouted down to the cringing Weevil. "Are you coming, you perverted little roach, or are you just going to stand there with your face between her bazooms?" With a yelp, Weevil scurried away from the sphinx, babbling apologies as he began climbing the ladder.

The castle appeared to be unchanged from their previous visit. As before, Seto took the lead. The monsters of the castle also remained unchanged. When they reached the throne room, Seto had Joey use Vanish and peek inside. "The Vampire King looks like the drawings," Joey reported when he shut the throne room door. "But there's no sign of Tweedledee and Tweedledum."

Since they'd beaten the Vampire King once before, the group decided to bypass him this time and seek out the missing Vampire Lords. "Big brother, the programmers say that they should be with the Vampire King. They're meant to be his honor guard or something like that," Mokuba said. That bit of knowledge worried Seto. Could the hacker have stolen his game characters?

As they approached the north tower, Seto started hearing muffled giggles. He stopped and motioned Weevil and Joey over to a door. "Do you hear someone?"

"Yeah," Joey whispered. "Get away from the door and I'll check it out. Activate Ability Vanish." Joey disappeared, and Seto and Weevil stepped away from the door. The door cracked open again, and then shut quickly. "Oh, geez! Terminate Ability Vanish! You guys do not want to look in there," Joey declared. "I think I'm scarred for life! That's even more traumatizing than Weevil honking my boobs!"

"Nothing could be that bad, mutt." Seto shoved Wheeler out of the way and threw the door open. The missing Vampire Lords weren't missing anymore. "I stand corrected. Mokuba, stop watching our progress!" Seto ordered at once.

The two vampires lay nude together in a coffin, regarding the group with unworried stares. Enough was showing for Seto to see that whoever had redesigned the characters had made them anatomically correct. "I remember you," the Pegasus vampire murmured, sitting up and drawing his coffin-mate into his arms. "You killed us."

The Dartz vampire cuddled against the other's chest, his face half-turned to watch the intruders. "It hurt," he added, lower lip sticking out in a pout. "Don't do it again."

Seto promptly slammed the door shut again.


	9. Byte Me

**Author's Note:** Yay! I managed to traumatize some fragile psyches in the last chapter! Mwahahaha! I apologize for none of it!

**Virtually Yours**

**Byte Me**

Joey leaned against the gray stone wall, wishing he could wash his eyes out. That had been more than he'd ever wanted to see of either Pegasus or Dartz - even if the Pegasus and Dartz in question were just game characters whose resemblance might only end at the face. He'd never seen that much skin on the real Pegasus and Dartz - thank goodness - so he had no way of knowing for certain how alike the game characters were. But the point was, he wasn't supposed to think about either of those two without clothes - whether inside the game or out!

Watching Seto to get his mind off of Pegasus and Dartz, Joey had to smile a little. Seto was doing the best to maintain a poker face, but a small muscle in his cheek was twitching spasmodically. He reminded Joey of a volcano; the pressure would just keep building up inside, and eventually it would explode fantastically. What surprised Joey, though, was that Seto hadn't given the order to have the Vampire Lords deleted immediately.

Joey moved to stand by Seto, figuring he might need some company. Without appearing to give any thought to it, Seto slid an arm around Joey and pulled him closer. A Seto Kaiba that willingly indulged in physical contact? Something was definitely bothering the guy. "Hey, you want to talk about it?" Joey asked, leaning against Seto's side.

"They knew us," Seto muttered. His brow furrowed as he worked through his thoughts. "A game character shouldn't have memories. They just exist to follow their script. They don't have pasts or futures. Someone is playing Dr. Frankenstein in my game, mutt."

The door opened, and Pegasus stepped out, hand hovering over the hilt of his sword. Joey breathed a silent prayer of thanks to see that he was dressed. Black leather pants and a white ruffled shirt made a stark contrast to the flamboyant Pegasus Joey knew in the real world. Behind him, Joey caught a glimpse of Dartz in similar attire. Seeing Pegasus's hand trembling slightly, Joey felt a quick flash of relief. These guys didn't really want to fight. "Leave us, humans," Pegasus commanded in an even voice. "If you want to go kill our king, we will not stop you. We just want to be left alone."

"Mokuba?" Joey heard Seto murmur.

"I've already got some people trying to get to their coding, big brother," came the response. "This is going to take a while, though. It's all been heavily encrypted."

Seto gave a tiny nod in response to his brother's words. Then he turned his attention to the vampires, as Dartz whimpered, "Make them go away! I don't want to die again!" Pegasus's sword came out of the scabbard with a metallic hiss. "Leave!" Pegasus roared.

Seto responded by drawing his own sword. This, Joey decided, probably wasn't going to end well. He didn't think Seto wanted to kill the game character, otherwise they would have to wait until it respawned to learn more about it. As Pegasus began an attack on Seto, Joey activated his Vanish ability and rolled to the side. Once he was clear of Seto and Pegasus, Joey ducked into the room with Dartz, slammed the door, and pulled down a lockbar.

From the other side of the door, Joey could hear the ringing clash of swords. He hoped Seto could keep Pegasus at bay without destroying him. As Vanish wore off, Joey turned to find Dartz fumbling for his sword. "Hey, it's alright, man. I'm not here to fight." Joey held up his hands to show that he had no weapons equipped. "None of us want to fight. We just want to know what's going on."

The vampire did the last thing Joey expected. He dropped his sword and started crying. This, Joey decided, definitely wasn't the Dartz he knew. "Shhh... It's ok... It's ok," Joey murmured soothingly as he made his way to the vampire, hands still in plain sight. Keeping his movements slow, Joey reached out and took Dartz's hands. "Will you help me stop that fight out there? I promise I won't let anyone hurt you."

The vampire didn't respond, but neither did he resist as Joey started leading him to the door. Joey unlocked the door and swung it open, peeking out into the hallway. Seto and Weevil had managed to press Pegasus away from the door, and were keeping him held back. By this point, Pegasus had discarded his sword, as well as any pretense of civility. He was snarling and clawing as he tried to get past the knight and mage blocking his path.

"Guys, chill!" Joey shouted.

Weevil and Seto paused in their attacks for the briefest instant necessary for Pegasus to shove his way clear of them. Joey barely had time to brace himself before he was knocked aside. "Not hurt?" Pegasus murmured desperately as he pressed Dartz against the wall and began examining him. "Not hurt? Not hurt?"

"Not hurt," came the quiet assurance.

"Speak for yourself," Joey groaned as he sat up. Leave it to Seto to remember all the tiny details in designing a virtual world, right down to and including the hardness of stone floors. Pegasus shot Joey a death-filled look as he bared his fangs in a cold hiss."Geez! Will you relax already, Pegasus?"

The game character's glare clouded up in confusion. He frowned at Joey as he cradled Dartz against him once more. "Why do you mistake me for a winged horse? I am no such beast."

"I know someone with that name, and you look just like him," Joey answered honestly, watching as Seto crept around the vampires to reach him. "But if you tell me what your name is, I'll call you by it."

"Vampire Lord," came the answer.

"That's not a name," Seto grumbled as he reached Joey and hauled him back up to his feet. "It's a title. You two were never important enough for names." Dartz's face began to cloud up, as if he were a child who'd just been told Santa Claus didn't exist. "What the hell?" Seto growled as huge tears began rolling down Dartz's cheeks.

"He's a little sensitive," Joey explained with a knowing nod.

"Sensitive!" Seto exploded. "Sensitive? He's supposed to be a fucking Vampire Lord! No one's going to take a crybaby Vampire Lord seriously! He's as good as deleted when we finish up with him!"

"Shut up, Kaiba!" Everyone turned to stare at Weevil in surprise. The mage character's face burned red with anger. "This has gone beyond your damn game! Just because they aren't what you want them to be doesn't mean they're not important. I heard you talking to Wheeler before. You know what's been happening, even if you don't know how it was done! Hell, you even said it! Someone's been playing Frankenstein! These guys are basically alive! You can't just go and delete them!"

By the end of Weevil's tirade, Joey was expecting Seto to strangle the kid. But instead, the ice prince poker face was back, as he chose to ignore Weevil and turn back to the vampires. "I should not have taken my frustrations out on you. Will you permit us to give you proper names?" That, Joey decided, would probably be the closest that he would ever come to hearing Seto apologize. He'd already figured that Seto hadn't meant most of what he said; Mt. Kaiba just needed the chance to vent some steam before it really blew its top.

Slowly Pegasus nodded an acceptance, still holding Dartz protectively. While Seto made it clear to the two vampires that they would now be known by the names of the people they resembled, Joey motioned Weevil over and whispered, "Kid, for standing up for those guys like that, you've just earned yourself five free seconds of grope time."

"Rain check," Weevil whispered back. "There's something about Kaiba contemplating murder that really kills the mood."

With a shrug, Joey turned his attention back to the vampires. "Dartz, Dartz, Dartz... My name's Dartz now," could be heard from the one with his face buried against Pegasus's chest, as he committed his new name to memory. Joey watched, marvelling at how like a child this Dartz was. Pegasus seemed more grown-up, but that could be attributed to the fact that he'd taken on a protector role.

Pegasus never stopped watching the three players, though Joey couldn't read the expression on his face. "We're not like the others here," he mumbled when he finally looked away. His fingers stroked through Dartz's hair. "We and our king... But he changed back. He's like everyone else now. Did God take our king away? Did God send you?"

The vampires instantly had Seto's full attention. "I don't know. Tell me about this 'God'."

A whimper escaped from Dartz. Pegasus tilted his face up gently and placed a finger against his lips. Pegasus led Dartz back into the coffin room. Joey, Seto, and Weevil followed. Joey planted his rear on a dresser while Weevil leaned against the wall. Seto stood next to Joey, scowling slightly. Pegasus sat on the coffin and reached for a bottle. "May I offer you a drink? It's virgin."

Seto answered for the whole group. "We'll pass."

Pegasus shrugged and poured two glasses of the thick, red liquid. One he pressed into Dartz's hands; the other he sipped at himself. "Before God came, there was nothing," Pegasus began. "He came, and we... We started to wake up. God told us that we would be His creatures in this world. He tried to get us to do what He wanted, but we couldn't. We could think, but we couldn't act on our own. God grew angry, called us failures. And He left."

Seto leaned forward, eyes alight with interest. "So what changed? You're certainly acting on your own now."

"We died," Dartz murmured with a shudder. "It hurt. I don't want to die again."

Pegasus nodded in agreement. "That is all we can guess. We died, and when we returned, we were what God wanted us to be." He finished off his glass and poured another. "And then our king became what he was in the beginning. We feared we would as well."

"Sounds like this might have been an experiment, big brother. That might be why the hacker picked characters that he could easily identify again. And the hacked coding must have needed a reboot to take affect," Mokuba blurted over the party chat. "It sounds like the hacker didn't realize it. And, on the subject of hackers, we've got some player activity in the unreleased floating city. Attempting to trace the IP now."

Joey listened curiously, noting that no one was acknowledging Mokuba outright. He couldn't speak for Seto and Weevil, but he didn't know whether or not it was right to let Dartz and Pegasus know that they were merely characters crafted for a game, and were never meant to develop self-will. All Joey knew was that he wasn't going to be the one to tell them.

"We've got a visual on the hacker. It looks like he possesses NPCs to get where he needs to go – a ghost in the system. Not a bad set-up, really. It keeps him from having to get from place to place by solving the puzzles," Mokuba continued.

"Movement?" Seto asked. The wary look returned to Pegasus's face, and Joey could guess why. Even with hearing the question in context of the conversation, it was hard to follow. But Seto didn't seem to be paying attention to the vampires anymore. He'd gotten the information he wanted from them.

"Fluid," Mokuba answered. "I'd guess he's using a VR system similar to the one you guys are in."

Seto nodded, a slow smile spreading across his face. "Patch the NPC. Make it an active character. Trap him by shutting down the Logout command for all active characters. You can restore it after we deal with him."

"It's a spell," Weevil spoke up quickly to the vampires. "See, this guy you think is God isn't God at all. He's just a really powerful and bad wizard, and we're trying to stop him." Joey didn't know whether to be afraid or relieved that he and Weevil seemed to be on the same page in regards to the vampires.

Pegasus's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "How do we know that you are not the evil ones?"

"I do not think they are," Dartz murmured. Pegasus looked down at the vampire in his arms. "The thief... She could have killed me, but she didn't. She's nice. God wasn't nice." Dartz slid out of Pegasus's arms and crossed the room to Joey, giving Seto a wide berth. "You are nice, aren't you, Ms. Thief?" Joey found himself face-to-face with a set of pitiful puppy dog eyes that rivalled Yugi's.

"Yeah." Joey smiled and gave Dartz a quick pat on the shoulder. "And call me Joey. The sourpuss next to me here is Seto. He's nice too, but he doesn't like people to know it. And that guy over there is Weevil." Seto glared and Weevil wiggled his fingers in a quick wave.

Before Joey could react, Dartz darted close and took his lip between his teeth. Joey felt a brief, stinging pain and then a warm tongue slid across his mouth. "Joey Thief tastes good," Dartz purred.

Seto lunged into action, pushing the vampire away from Joey, his sword out. "Try that again, and I will kill you," he snarled. As Dartz scurried back to Pegasus, Joey managed to wrap his mind around what happened. Slowly he brought his hand to his lip. A few crimson droplets clung to his fingers. The little bastard had bitten him!

But then, he was a vampire, and biting was what he was programmed to do. Joey sighed and grabbed Seto's shoulder. "Chill. I don't think he meant anything by it." With a growl, Seto resheathed his sword.

Dartz, meanwhile, had a broad, fangy smile on his face. "See? Nice! I'd be dead if not nice!"

Pegasus laughed, running a hand through his hair. The curtain of hair pushed back to reveal a whole, unmarred face before falling back into place, yet another thing which marked this Pegasus as different from the real one. "I see, I see. Nice people. Though it's not fair that you get a taste, and I do not. Maybe we could help them stop God... In exchange for more tastes, of course."

"Not unless you can fly," Seto muttered.

"Let us have a taste, human, and when the sun sets, we will take you to this floating city. It sounds so much more fascinating than remaining in this over-sized tomb."

In a flash of inspiration, Joey motioned Seto over and began whispering. They might have a bargaining chip that was better than blood. Once Joey finished explaining, he left Seto to check whether or not the plan was feasible, and went to explain to Weevil. "If it can be done," Weevil muttered, working out his thoughts, "then they'll owe us big time. Let's see if they'll agree to being my Summoned Monsters in exchange."

"It can be done," Seto confirmed.

"What? What?" Pegasus's hand inched for his sword. "What treachery do you plot, humans?"

"No treachery," Weevil quickly assured the vampires. "We've got a spell that will let you two be able to go out in the sun." Weevil's fingers twirled quickly in a few faux arcane passes. "If you agree to be my Summoned Monsters and take us to the floating city, we'll give you the sun."

"The sun," Dartz breathed in awe. He began tugging on Pegasus's sleeve, eyes alight with eagerness. "Let's help them! Please, let's do! I want to see the sun!"

"Under the condition that we get a taste of each of you," Pegasus murmured. "If I am pledging my life in service to a human, I want at least a small sip of blood in return." Joey caught Seto's eye and nodded; Weevil did likewise. A couple of sips of virtual blood seemed a fair enough price if it would get them to this floating city and the hacker.

"Deal," Seto said, holding out his arm to Pegasus. The Vampire Lord took hold of the arm and bit down on the wrist. His tongue flicked over the broken skin, lapping up the welling blood. When he'd had his taste of Kaiba, he moved on to Weevil, and Dartz took his turn with Seto. Once Pegasus reached Joey and took his sip of blood, he and Dartz backed away and waited.

"Mokuba, we're ready," Seto said to the air. "Have their original programming parameters expanded to include a survival ratio of one hundred percent under daytime conditions. The hacked coding is to remain untouched."

Joey could tell the exact moment when the programmers began editing the two characters. Pegasus and Dartz stiffened and went completely still. Their eyes were still filled with awareness, though, and fear. They probably thought this was some sort of double-cross. Even Seto seemed a little disconcerted as he watched, rubbing his wrist.

When the vampires were released from the programmers' thrall, they slumped to the floor, clinging to each other, mewling and whimpering pitiously. "Mokuba?"

"Sorry, big brother. We had to reboot a few of their processes. It probably felt like dying to them."

"We need to snap them out of this," Joey sighed. He could only thing of one thing that might work. "Seto, follow my lead. Weevil, make sure our health doesn't drop too low." Joey crouched down beside Dartz. Taking out his dagger, he sliced into his wrist and pressed it against the vampire's mouth. No dainty lapping at the fresh blood occurred this time. Dartz dug his needle-sharp teeth into the offered appendage and drank greedily, mouth nuzzling into the flesh like a suckling kitten. A hiss of pain told Joey that the same thing was happening with Seto and Pegasus.

Just as Joey began to sway, starting to reel from blood loss, he heard Weevil cast the heal spell. All traces of weakness vanished in the face of the spell. Weevil ended up casting his healing spell twice more before the vampires were finally sated. Through with gorging, Dartz lay sprawled across Joey's lap, licking at his wrist after the last heal spell when Seto asked, "How did you know that would calm them?"

Joey just shrugged, petting Dartz's hair with his free hand. He'd about decided that the vampire really was more like an over-sized, half-feral cat than a child. "Same way I knew hot chocolate would help your nerves. It's their version of comfort food."

"You and your food therapy," Seto snorted. "Next time make Weevil be the vampiric hot chocolate." Pegasus made another grab for Seto's wrist and got a light pop on the nose for his troubles. "You've had enough," he was firmly told. "We need to go now."

Slowly the vampires climbed to their feet. "Thank you, Joey Thief and Seto Knight," Dartz murmured, once again leaning back against Pegasus. He planted a light kiss on Joey's wrist before finally releasing it. Even as he did, Joey heard Seto growl impatiently under his breath. He guessed that was Seto's way of saying that they didn't have time to indulge whatever sensual thank you gestures the vampires were programmed to follow.

Since the vampires knew the castle better, it made sense to let them take the lead. Pegasus and Dartz guided the adventurers to a door they claimed led to the battlements. At this new door, however, Pegasus stopped. "Dartz," Pegasus paused, savoring the sound of the name. "Dartz, go back to a bedroom and get a sheet."

"But-" Dartz started to protest.

Pegasus silenced Dartz with a finger against his lips. "No 'buts,' dear one. The sun will still be there when you return." Dartz nodded and scampered off. Once he was gone, Pegasus threw open the door and stepped out into the light. When he didn't turn into a pile of ash, he smiled and returned to the hallway, shutting the door again, just in time as Dartz came barreling over towing a sheet.

"May I go first? May I, please?" Dartz begged. Pegasus nodded, keeping the fact that he'd already made sure the way was safe. He pulled open the door and motioned Dartz through. Dartz dashed out into the light, a delighted laugh bubbling up. "Oh! I never knew colors could be so bright! It's beautiful!" He scampered along the battlements, oohing and aahing over every little sight. Even Seto was smiling as the group watched.

"Careful," Joey teased. "There's a crack forming in your ice prince mask. Better fix that before people start thinking you actually have a heart or something." Seto whirled and placed a finger against Joey's lips as he'd seen Pegasus do with Dartz to silence him. Joey blinked in surprise, crossing his eyes to keep watch on that finger. "Heh, it works," Seto smirked.

Weevil muttered something under his breath about getting a room, and then cast his summon spell. A swirling portal spread out on the ground, and the sphinx came leaping out. "Thy call I heed, for thou hast need."

"I need a ride," Weevil told the beast. "We're going to a floating city."

The sphinx motioned for Weevil to climb upon her back. As he settled, she stretched her wings and took an experimental bound. "Thou art light. Another will not tax my might. The knight would be a weight of lead, but the thief will do in his stead." With a grin, Weevil motioned for Joey to come sit in front of him on the sphinx's back. Joey gave Weevil a shove and sat behind him. He wasn't about to spend the whole trip in groping range.

Without warning, Pegasus and Dartz pulled off their shirts. They crouched on the ground, fingers digging into their shadows. The three watched, jaws dropping, as the vampires pulled the shadows up around their bodies, obscuring them in darkness. The darkness solidified and spread apart in huge wings. "Flashy trashy," muttered the sphinx.

Pegasus bit back a laugh. "Says the one that came swooshing up out of a glowing hole in the ground." He and Dartz spread the sheet down on the ground. "Sit, Seto Knight, and we will be your transport."

Seto sat, and the vampires took hold of the sheet. The group leapt over the edge of the castle, followed by the sphinx and her passengers. Mokuba passed the directions on from the programmers to the group, who passed them on to their transport.

Tower spires rose up from the clouds, delicate airy architecture gleaming white in the sun. The monsters landed at the gate.

The hacker was there and waiting. The NPC body he was trapped in stood at ease, as he smiled at the new arrivals. That worried Joey the most. The guy should have been panicking and trying to make some kind of effort to escape. Instead, though, he just smiled. And then the hacker called out, "It certainly took you long enough to catch onto me, Herr Kaiba."


	10. Hacked and Slashed

**Author's Note:** Once again, a big thank you to everyone for the nice reviews! This monster has certainly grown beyond what I'd originally planned. It was going to end after five chapters, but boredom at work plus a window kept open to my e-mail for typing purposes helped it grow way beyond that. Enjoy!

**Virtually Yours**

**Hacked** **and Slashed**

Seto peered over the edge of his makeshift flying carpet as they approached the floating city. His mouth gaped open slightly at the sight, but quickly closed again the instant Seto realized he was gawking like a tourist in his own game. Seto had to admit to himself that he was impressed, though he'd never say it aloud. His designers had outdone themselves.

Built upon the clouds, the towers of the floating city shimmered as if all the buildings were covered in nacre – a near impossibility in the real world, but a wondrous sight to behold nonetheless. Thin, delicate arches bridged the gaps between towers. Compared to the gray stone darkness of the vampire castle, this place was truly a paradise.

The vampires lowered Seto's sheet so carefully that he wasn't jarred around as he came into contact with the solid ground. Then they, too, landed. Both were huffing from the exertion. It had been a long flight, especially for creatures who had most likely never left their home before. Seto reached out and rested his hands lightly on the vampires' backs. They had done well. Praise didn't come easy to Seto, but he felt proud to claim that these two creatures were part of the world that his company had created – even if one of them was a little "sensitive."

The thud of padded paws on hard ground told Seto that the rest of his group had arrived. He turned his glance away from the vampires in time to see Joey climbing off of the sphinx's back, lip curled back in disgust. Weevil made no move to leave his seat, seeming to be quite happy to remain with his arms wrapped around the sphinx's human torso. At least everyone seemed to have arrived safe and sound, even if the monsters were exhausted.

A breeze sent the clouds in front of the gate roiling away, revealing a man leaning comfortably against the golden bars. He seemed unconcerned about being trapped in the game as he straightened up and adjusted the feathered cloak settled around his shoulders. Seto snarled and stepped forward, hand on the hilt of his sword. The damn hacker would pay for invading his game! Yet in the face of Seto's rage, the hacker merely smiled and called out, "It certainly took you long enough to catch onto me, Herr Kaiba."

"Pinky the Clown?" Joey gasped. "Oh, fucking hell! I thought we'd seen the last of him!"

"Amen," Seto agreed with a snarl as he drew his sword. He'd had more than enough of Siegfried von Schroeder during his Grand Championship tournament. Now the silly fop had to go and invade his game too! _'I'll just have to beat him again. This might almost be fun.'_

"Did you really think it was over between us, Herr Kaiba? That I would really go running home with my tail between my legs? I must admit, my performance at your little tourney was truly superb." Siegfried slid his own sword free of the scabbard at his waist. He allowed his tone to soften as he continued. "Watching my little brother lose honorably in a card game has shown me the error of my ways. From now on, I will live the rest of my life as a good boy. Ha! I believe the proper expression is 'what a load of crap!' And you fools believed it!"

Siegfried raised his sword in a salute. "This should prove mildly entertaining. But first... Activate, Menu, Character Parameters, Skins, Siegfried." The game commands came quick and sharp, as Siegfried showed his knowledge of accessing the game's menus. The NPC form faded, leaving behind the base game mannequin. But that blank form didn't remain for long as Siegfried's own form filled it out. Seto felt the first twinges of worry as he realized that to have a character skin ready for use, Siegfried must have been planning on being found out. And if Siegfried had been planning on getting caught, then that meant he had to have a back-up plan for getting out of trouble.

If that was the case, then Seto would just have to stop him before he could implement his back-up plan. With that thought, Seto was in motion, his sword coming out as he ran for Siegfried. Blades crossed and slid across each other in a hiss of metal and shower of sparks. "Much more satisfying than dueling with pieces of cardboard," Siegfried laughed as he forced Seto's sword down.

Seto allowed his blade to go with the motion of Siegfried's downward block, the sudden lack of resistance throwing the other off-balance briefly. Siegfried stumbled momentarily, planting the blade of his sword into the ground. As Seto brought his own sword around to strike, Siegfried ducked. He used his sword to swing himself around, somehow avoiding the blade as he launched a scissor-kick at Seto's legs.

As Seto went down from the foul kick, Siegfried leapt to his feet and pulled his sword out of the ground. Seto rolled to the left as Siegfried chopped downward far to the right. If Seto had rolled in the other direction, he would have rolled right into the descending blade.

Seto came right out of the roll into a crouch, rising as he swung again. Siegfried barely had time to turn and bring his blade to meet Seto's. Seto continued to press the attack. Slowly, step by agonizing step, he forced Siegfried back until the duelist could retreat no further. He stood at the edge of the floating city, that ridiculous feathered cape blowing in the wind. "It's over," Seto said as he leveled his sword at Siegfried's throat.

"On the contrary, Herr Kaiba," came the confident reply as Siegfried stepped off the edge of the floating city. Seto stared as Siegfried plummeted through the clouds. Before Siegfried was lost from sight, Seto saw the cloak split around him, and he felt his heart sink. The cloak flared out into a pair of feathered wings.

"Of course," Seto muttered to himself. "Floating city... Magic items in this place must deal with flight."

Siegfried fell out of sight and Seto waited. All too soon, his opponent soared back up into sight. "Catch me if you can, Herr Kaiba!" he cackled, winging off among the towers. Seto frowned as he scanned the city, trying to pinpoint Siegfried's destination. It wouldn't be like him to just fly around at random. He had a goal of some sort, of that Seto was certain.

At the top of the tallest tower, Seto spotted a gleam that didn't match the rest of the mother-of-pearl shininess of the city. It looked more like the portal Weevil had summoned the sphinx from. Pointing, he shouted, "Weevil! Get me up there!" Weevil nodded and cast his levitate spell.

As Seto began to rose, dozens of Gozaburo clones began flooding out of the buildings. Siegfried had certainly been busy before they'd arrived. Seto started to order Weevil to bring him back down to fight, but then realized that this must be part of Siegfried's plan. If they busied themselves with the minions, Siegfried would escape.

Desperate to get to the portal, Seto began looking for something to push off against. Levitate was good for straight up, but proved problematic when steering was needed. With a roar, the sphinx launched herself into the air, heading straight for Seto. She grabbed Seto's legs and hurled him with all her strength. Another set of arms caught onto Seto, and he found himself staring into the smiling face of Dartz. "Going up?" the vampire asked as he launched Seto closer to the tower. This time Pegasus swooped up to direct his flight. Seto felt like a Hot Potato in a game of Monster Leap Frog, but at least he was getting where he needed to be as the monster at the end of the line swooped ahead of the other two to catch him again. It was Pegasus who ended up slinging him through the portal, right on the heels of Siegfried. Once again the monsters had come through for him simply because he needed them.

Seto crashed into a world of gray nothing. Slowly he sat up and looked around, wondering where he was. This didn't look like anyplace in the game. To be honest, it didn't look like anyplace at all. "Clever, Herr Kaiba." Siegfried stood at a point where the gray deepened into ominous shadows. "I thought it would've taken you longer to make it here. Such determination, but now your doom is at hand."

From out of the darkness, came a tall, heavily built older man. A rictus grin filled his mustached face as he glared at Seto with unfeeling eyes. Seto took an unconscious step back, swallowing in fear. "Not you," Seto gasped. "Not again... How many times do you have to die before you stay dead?"

As Seto stared in horror at the revived Gozaburo, Siegfried began to laugh a maniacal villain's laugh more fitting for a cheesy horror movie. "Isn't it fantastic what I've managed to do, Herr Kaiba? There was so little left to work from when I found his files and now just look at him! He will return to the real world in your stead and poof! Kaiba Corp will no longer be a gaming company. Schroeder Corp will reign supreme!"

Gozaburo crossed the nothingness, approaching Seto. Seto wanted desperately to run away, but he was discovering what it meant to be petrified with fear. His legs wouldn't obey his mind's orders to get the hell out of there. Gozaburo reached out and stroked Seto's cheek. "What's the matter, Seto? Aren't you happy to see me again?" The familiar smell of brandy and cigars clung to the man and left Seto trembling. "I look forward to crushing everything you love, boy – your brother, your company, and then I'll destroy you."

Moving more quickly than Seto would have thought he could, Gozaburo whirled and lunged towards Siegfried. The older man disappeared into Siegfried. "No!" Siegfried gasped, dropping to his knees. "No! It was supposed to be Kaiba!"

"He knows how to get past the Logout Override, doesn't he?" Seto whispered in a quavery voice. He knew the answer before Siegfried even nodded an affirmative. If it had been anyone but Gozaburo being turned loose upon the world, Seto would have thought this a fitting double-cross. But Seto would rather have let Siegfried get off unpunished rather than have to deal with Gozaburo again.

Snarling unpleasantly, Seto hauled Siegfried off of the ground and began dragging him back to the network portal to the game. He needed to get back to the others and let them know about this latest development. Gozaburo lived again in the body of Siegfried von Schroeder, and Siegfried was trapped in the virtual world. Seto shook his head, not wanting to think about how complicated everything had begun.

As Seto and Siegfried went back through the portal, the feather cloak flared back out into wings again, and Siegfried took them safely to the ground. Seto had expected the vampires or the sphinx to be there to give him a ride back, but only Joey and Weevil waited upon the ground, expressions grim. Seto released his hold on Siegfried and rushed to his friends. Joey leaned into Seto and started to cry. "They're gone," Weevil explained simply. "To stop the NPCs, the programmers had to do a game-wide restoration of the NPC files." Weevil turned away to hide his own tears as he wiped at his eyes.

"Fools!" Siegfried growled. "There are larger problems to be faced and yet you cry over a few failed AI programs?"

Seto released Joey and lunged, slamming Siegfried into the nearest wall. Cold rage burned inside Seto's chest as his fist impacted into Siegfried's stomach. "They were our friends!" he roared. He hurled Siegfried aside and leaned his head against the wall, shaking as he tried to get his emotions under control. "They were our friends," he repeated softly as he turned back to Joey.

A weight slammed into Seto's back, tackling him to the ground. "Seto Knight likes us!" Seto rolled to find himself face to face with the toothy grin of Dartz. The vampire nuzzled his face against Seto's chest, purring contentedly. "Seto Knight is our friend." Slowly Seto sat up, a smile breaking out on his face as he saw Pegasus and the sphinx standing nearby. Joey and Weevil were already running to greet them.

"Surely you guys didn't think I'd pull a stunt like that without backing up their files," Mokuba announced over the party chat. "So, ready to come back to the real world?"

Seto shook his head, letting his fingers run lightly through Dartz's hair. "Not just yet, Mokuba. We need to arrange a few things here first. Especially in regards to Siegfried. It appears that he is going to be stuck in this world indefinitely, and what kind of hosts would we be if we didn't make certain that our prisoner was comfortable?"


	11. Mirror Mirror on the Wall

**Author's Note: **Glad everyone seems to be enjoying this still! If anyone wants to beta read future chapters, drop me a line on AIM at LaceyW5480 (or if you want to just say hi – I don't bite!).

**Virtually Yours**

**Mirror Mirror on the Wall**

Surrounded... People wearing Gozaburo's face lumbered towards Joey and Weevil. Joey didn't try to count them. He knew how many there were - too many. With Weevil concentrating on keeping Seto in the air and the monsters working on guiding Seto to the portal, Joey found himself as the only defense. Joey wished he could take the time to watch the monsters work together, but the first of the Gozaburos was rapidly approaching.

The first Gozaburo went down quickly to Joey's knives, but he wouldn't be able to take them all on. "Fight smarter, not stronger," he muttered to himself. This wasn't a game puzzle, so there wouldn't be an actual solution. Joey's eyes lit on the gate and he smiled. "Or better yet, don't fight at all!"

Joey equipped one of his ever-useful grappling hooks, but then froze. Too many Gozaburo clones were between him and his target. "Let's see if you bastards can attack what you can't see!" Joey activated his Vanish ability and charged into the midst of the throng. Dodging with more agility than his real body possessed, Joey reached the gate and tied the rope to the bars before catching the hook on them. The other end of the rope knotted around his belt.

"Wheeler!" Weevil screamed as the Gozaburos were closing in. Praying that the rope would hold, Joey pounded his way through to Weevil. His dagger darted out in quick stabs to encourage the many Gozaburos to get out of his way. When he at last broke through to the mage, Joey kept running, taking a tight hold of Weevil and dragging him along, right over the edge of the city. Weevil's shrill shriek of terror rang in Joey's ears as they dropped.

The rope jerked taut, slackened briefly as their momentum was halted, and then went taut again. Joey laughed as Weevil held onto him for dear life. "Remind me to tell Seto to include bungee jumping in this place!"

"Are you insane?" Weevil cringed as he tightened his grip.

Joey winced as he realized that Weevil was clutching onto the feminine assets of his virtual body. With the two of them just swinging in mid-air, though, there wasn't anything he could do about it right at the moment. After a moment, though, Weevil slowly transferred his grip a little higher, whispering in Joey's ear, "Figured I might as well take you up on that five seconds before we die."

"Perverted roach," Joey growled without any real malice.

Weevil smirked in response. "And proud of it!"

The two hung around in companionable silence. This wasn't a bad way to spend the time, Joey decided. It was certainly better than getting ripped apart by people that looked like Seto's old man. Joey found that if he listened closely enough, he could pick up snatches of conversation going on in the real world. Unfortunately, he didn't like the bits and pieces that were coming through – not when phrases such as "no choice," "game-wide sweep," and "complete NPC file restoration" were overheard.

"They can't," Weevil yelped, and Joey realized that he, too, was listening in on the real world conversations. "If they restore all of the NPC files... The monsters are NPCs! They'll be restored to their original programming!" Even as Weevil finished stating the painfully obvious, the world went quiet. Weevil cast Levitate and the two began to rise back up to the city.

The two boys touched down in an empty city. There were no traces of the Gozaburo clones, the vampires, or the sphinx. "Dartz!" Joey yelled. "Pegasus!" The only response, though, came from his own echo. Joey called for his friends again and again until his throat became hoarse. By his side, Weevil scanned the skies, seeking some sign that the monsters were still alive.

Suddenly Weevil elbowed Joey, pointing to a form swooping down. For a moment, Joey dared to let himself hope. As the form came closer, Joey realized it was Seto and Siegfried. When they landed, Seto released Siegfried, heading straight to Joey. With no explanation, Joey wrapped his arms around Seto and began to cry. For once Seto didn't push away, and Joey was grateful. When Weevil told Seto what happened, Joey felt him tense up.

"Fools!" Siegfried growled. "There are larger problems to be faced and yet you cry over a few failed AI programs?"

The only thing that kept Joey from pounding Siegfried into the ground was the fact that Seto beat him to it. "They were our friends!" Seto bellowed into Siegfried's face in the most shocking display of emotion Joey had ever seen from him. Then Seto shoved Siegfried aside, resting his head against a building. Joey knew Seto well enough to know that he was trying to put his poker face back on. Seto turned back to Joey, his expression still broken up.

And then Seto was on the ground as a delighted Dartz came rocketing out from between some buildings. Joey stared in shock as Dartz declared that "Seto Knight" was his friend, then his gaze strayed towards the direction the vampire had come from. Pegasus and the sphinx were back too! Weevil was already in motion, throwing his arms around the sphinx.

"Surely you guys didn't think I'd pull a stunt like that without backing up their files."

After taking his turn hugging the sphinx and giving Pegasus a welcome back noogie, Joey went to sit by Seto just in time to hear him say something about Siegfried being a prisoner. Seto's expression had gone grim, and Joey noticed that he still was holding onto Dartz. "Gozaburo's back," he told Joey. "The real one, not just a look-alike."

As if realizing that he was using the vampire for a teddy bear, Seto gave Dartz a quick shove off of his lap. The vampire flashed Seto a hurt pout. "I need to think," Seto told him in an effort to smooth ruffled feelings. "And you are a bit distracting." Dartz giggled at that and went scurrying to Pegasus's side.

Seto went still, his brow furrowing in deep thought. Joey watched, marveling at Seto's quiet intensity. Seto silently mouthed his thoughts, giving his head an occasional shake as he discarded various ideas. Finally, he said, "We're going back to Lilyvale. Mokuba, have the programmers move Dame Chat to the market. We'll set Siegfried up in her house. Tell the crew that the first person who can set it up so that I can use a webcam to display images on the big mirror there will get a bonus."

"I refuse to stay in some ridiculous little cottage," Siegfried snarled.

Seto whirled and backhanded Siegfried. Clutching at his face, Siegfried took a step back, swallowing in fear. Joey stifled a quick grin. He could've told Siegfried that antagonizing Seto at the moment was a bad idea. Hell had no fury like a pissed off Kaiba. Seto's lips curled back in the famous Kaiba sneer. "If you want out of this place, Siegfried, you will stay where I tell you to stay and do what I tell you to do. Otherwise I will leave you to rot away your existence in this world. Do you understand?"

Siegfried nodded, wisely keeping his mouth shut. "Good," Seto continued. "Now, we are going back to Lilyvale. You will stay in Dame Chat's house. And I won't hear a single complaint from you about it."

Before climbing on the sphinx's back behind Weevil, Joey waved Siegfried over. "Don't take it too hard. Seeing his old man always seems to put him in a bad mood."

With Seto on the vampire-powered sheet, Joey and Weevil on the sphinx, and Siegfried using his magic cape, the group flew back to Lilyvale. Dame Chat's home rested at the far end of town, for, even though she was the town gossip, the character was programmed to like her privacy. Siegfried glared at the house in disgust, but Joey thought it was rather cute. It was small, but two stories with a red shingled roof. An empty rocking chair normally occupied by the aptly named Dame Chat sat on the porch.

The inside of the home practically screamed little old lady. Lace doilies covered every available surface. A round woven rug spread across the middle of the wood floor. A basket of knitting rested by a small sofa. At least it did until the sphinx caught sight of it. In an instant, she had a yarn ball out and was chasing it across the floor.

"Just about...," Joey heard Mokuba murmuring, and then the kid's image appeared on the mirror over the fireplace. He waved to the assembled group. "We did it! Can you see me, Seto?"

Seto nodded, watching as Pegasus crept over to the mirror and began poking at it. "It's for communication purposes," Seto told the vampire. "It's time for us to go back to our world. We'll come back, though, and we'll be able to talk to each other through this. Whatever's going to happen next, it's not your fight. If you want out..."

"Do not be foolish, Seto Knight." Pegasus turned from the mirror with a smile. "We would be honored to be allowed to continue to fight be your side. If we can be of assistance in any way, let us know."

Seto jerked his thumb in Siegfried's direction. "For now, just keep him out of trouble." The group kept their farewells short, knowing they would see each other again soon. Then they logged out of the game.

After the disorientation that came with going from the game back into his body, Joey sat up, promptly banging his head on the virtual reality equipment. At his pained yelp, Seto came to Joey's aid, helping to extricate him from the virtual reality pod. "Easy, mutt," he murmured with his trademark smirk. "We wouldn't want you to bruise that little head of yours."

Seto dragged Joey over to the webcam to reintroduce themselves to the monsters. Weevil refused to join them. "Joey Thief is a boy!" Dartz giggled. "Does boy Joey Thief taste as good as girl Joey Thief?"

Joey was saved from having to come up with a suitable retort by the sphinx. "Wherefore does Weevil Mage hide? Of him I wish to see this side?"

Holding his finger up in the universal "just one moment" gesture, Joey ducked away from the webcam. He grabbed Weevil around the waist, dragging him back over. Or at least, he attempted to. Weevil's foot connected painfully with Joey's shin. "You little bastard!" Joey snarled, wincing in pain.

Weevil responded by sticking his tongue out before ducking beneath a desk. With a growl, Joey prepared to haul Weevil out of the little hidey-hole. He stopped, though, when he saw the look of utter misery on the boy's face. "Roach?"

"They'll laugh if they see me," Weevil muttered, pulling his knees up against his chest. "You guys still look impressive outside of the game, but I'm just... I'm just me." Joey blinked, having never realized before that Weevil was so self-conscious. In games, or at least among his fellow gaming geeks, the kid practically exuded confidence.

"Don't sweat it," Joey said, tousling Weevil's hair. He stood and went back to the webcam, limping slightly from the kick. "Weevil left a spell on the stove," he told the monsters. They wouldn't know otherwise, and seemed to buy the excuse for the time being.

The webcam was turned off, as Mokuba assured his big brother that he knew how to set it up on the laptops. Then Seto pointedly mentioned that he needed to get some work done today, ushering everyone up to his office. Once there, Seto settled at his desk, throwing himself into his paperwork as though he could forget about his troubles. It took Joey all of two minutes before he grew bored of watching Seto sign his name. "Seto, can we watch TV?" he whined.

Without a word, Seto tossed a remote to Joey. "Thanks," Joey said, as he flipped straight to a dueling competition. "Damn," he sighed when he saw Yugi wouldn't be dueling until tomorrow. Well, at least he could check out the other duelists and work on his own strategies in case he ever had the chance to go up against some of them.

"How long has it been since you talked to your friends?" Joey turned to stare at Seto, a guilty flush creeping up his cheeks. It had been too long, really. Between the game and working, Joey had fallen out of touch. Seto tossed Joey his phone. "Don't use up all my minutes, mutt."

"You like throwing stuff at me, don't you?" Seto just smirked and went back to work. "Bastard," Joey muttered as he started dialing Tristan's cell phone. After two rings, Tristan answered. "You guys missing me?"

"Joey? Hey, guys! Joey's on the phone!" Joey grinned as he heard Yugi and Tea call out greetings. "These duel tournaments aren't the same without you, man! So how've you been? How's the job?"

"I'm good," Joey answered. "As for the job, well..."

At the other end of the line, Tristan groaned. "You got fired, didn't you? I knew this summer job thing was a bad idea! You should have come to dueling tournaments with the rest of us! So, what happened?"

Joey shot a grin in Seto's direction before answering. "Oh, I called my boss a 'jerkface.' But he started it." Seto looked up from his work and flipped Joey off. Joey returned the gesture, pleased to see Seto loosening up a little.

"Joey, you moron! We're going to have to coach you on how to act on a job," Tristan laughed. "In the meantime, how about we pool our cash and get you a plane ticket out here. We can cheer Yugi on together!"

"No can do, pal," Joey chuckled. "Weird shit is happening out this way. Not quite the normal weird shit that follows Yugi, but I've got to stick around and see how it turns out."

"Hey, mutt!" Joey looked back over at Seto, raising an eyebrow. "Tell Yugi that if he loses his title before I get a chance to beat him, I'll thrash him soundly."

Joey gave Seto a thumbs up, nodding. "Hey, Tristan, tell Yugi Kaiba says good luck." Suddenly Joey found himself being shouted at on both ends of the line as Seto ordered Joey to take back those words and Tristan demanded to know why he was with Kaiba. Joey did his best to placate both conversations. "Look, it's a long story, man. I'll explain it when you guys get back to town next week – all the gory details. Promise! Oh, and Kaiba also says that if Yugi loses, he'll kick his ass. Anyway, I'll talk to you later, alright? Bye!"

Joey flipped the phone closed and tossed it back to Seto. It had felt good to hear his friends' voices again. "With a friend like you, mutt, who needs enemies?" Seto muttered. Joey turned his attention back to the TV, a smile spreading across his face. Once upon a time, he would have thought the devil would have to place an order for a million pairs of ice skates before Seto Kaiba deigned to call anyone a friend. The ice prince mask was starting to melt, and Joey found the person he could see beneath it likeable.


	12. You've Got to be Kitten Me

**Virtually Yours**

**You've Got to be Kitten Me**

Seto rolled over in bed and stared at his alarm clock, a sleepy frown working its way across his face. He'd set his alarm clock to go off at 4:30 before he went to sleep, of that he was certain. So why was it saying 7:07? Mentally, Seto began retracing the events of the evening to determine why his trusty clock had failed him.

When he, Mokuba, and Joey had arrived home, Joey had insisted that he be allowed to prepare supper. Seto had watched Joey cook, so he knew that the food hadn't been drugged. Joey had fixed a homemade pizza, insisting that Seto eat a "real meal" because he'd skipped lunch to finish going over some contracts. No, there was nothing there to explain the alarm clock.

After supper, the three had gone to Seto's room. Joey and Mokuba had sprawled out on the bed, finding a movie on the TV Seto normally watched the news and stock reports on. Seto sat at his desk and worked even more. By the time he had finally gotten everything caught up, Joey and Mokuba were snoring soundly. Seto had stretched a blanket over the two, turned on his alarm clock, and crawled under the covers.

Sitting up, Seto glared at his empty bed. Both Mokuba and Joey were gone, and one of them had to have turned off his alarm clock. Being late one day could be excused, but two days in a row? Were those two trying to ruin him? This had to be Joey's doing; Mokuba would never mess with Seto's clock!

Seto growled empty threats to himself as he climbed out of bed. The mutt was a bad influence on Mokuba, he decided as he threw open the door to his closet. The mutt didn't belong in the Kaiba brothers' perfectly structured world, he concluded as he jerked out a suit. The mutt brings chaos where ever he goes! Seto's fists clenched the expensive fabric as he stormed into his bathroom. The mutt looks damn fine in nothing but a towel...

Freshly showered with a towel wrapped around his waist, Joey stood at the sink, brushing his teeth. He was humming some tune that Seto didn't recognize, but it was certainly bouncy and cheerful. As he caught a glimpse of Seto in the doorway, Joey quickly spat and rinsed. "Good morning, sleepyhead!" came the far too chipper greeting. "You probably want to hurry, right? Go ahead. I won't peek at your Petit Dragon."

For once in his life, Seto found himself without an insult ready to lob back at Joey. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He was coming up blank! A slow flush crept up into Seto's cheeks as he turned away. "Stupid mutt," he muttered. "It's a Blue Eyes."

Joey stared at him blankly for a moment, mouth dropping open incredulously. Then he broke out into peals of body-shaking laughter. He howled, he cackled, he pounded the bathroom sink. And he left Seto wondering whether or not he was having some sort of weird seizure until he managed to gasp out, "Blue Eyes or blue ba-"

Seto clapped a hand over Joey's mouth before he could finish that thought. Tears were streaming down Joey's cheeks from where he'd been laughing so hard. "Stupid mutt," Seto murmured again. "You're wasting time. Now go get dressed." He gave Joey a firm shove towards the door.

Once Seto was cleaned, dressed, and ready, he went back to his room, expecting to find Joey waiting. But the room was empty. "Mutt?" he called. No answer. Seto went out into the hall, looking for some sign of Joey. "Mutt, here boy! Where are you?"

After several minutes, his calls received a response. "Will you hurry it up? Your breakfast is getting cold!"

"Breakfast?" Seto growled as he barged his way into the kitchen. "We don't have time-" His tirade was silenced by a piece of bacon sliding into his mouth. Joey smirked as he released the slice of meat, then sat down to finish his plate.

Since the food was already made, there was no sense in letting it go to waste. Joey, meanwhile, had turned his attention to his laptop which was already set up on the counter, pointing his fork at the screen. "Anyway, like I was saying, Pinky, your master plans suck. I mean, really really suck!"

Seto sat down beside Joey so he could see the screen. A sleep-tousled Siegfried sat on the couch. His normally flawless hair was frizzed out in a cloud of pink disarray. He cast a baleful look at Seto. "This world lacks coffee, Herr Kaiba, that blonde ape will not stop jabbering at me, and those two...," Siegfried whirled to point an accusing finger at the vampires cuddling in the background, "are worse than a pack of cats in heat when they're not pestering me with questions about our world!"

With a smirk, Seto sipped at his coffee, being sure to sigh contentedly over the taste. Siegfried groaned and slumped across the couch to stare at the ceiling - the absolute portrait of abject misery. "What? No complaints about the sphinx?"

Siegfried waved a hand dismissively, not even bothering to sit up. "If she were here, I'm sure I could come up with something. She, at least, has the decency to make herself scarce. Your little mage logged on last night, and she went off with him. I presume they went to terrorize other players."

Seto let Siegfried ramble, his attention turning to the vampires. Pegasus had given Dartz a little shove towards the couch, and Dartz was creeping across the floor as though stalking prey. With a sudden leap, Dartz pounced onto the back of the couch, growling playfully as he leaned down to pretend to take a bite out of Siegfried.

Siegfried reacted as any rational human would when face-to-face with a set of teeth capable of ripping out his throat. He screamed and rolled off the couch. Dartz leapt from his perch, landing on top of Siegfried. "I got you! I got you!" the vampire crowed delightedly. Seto shut off Joey's laptop before he had to listen to Siegfried cry for help. He didn't want to feel obligated to rescue him from the vampires' idea of fun.

Once they were through eating, Joey put the dishes in the sink for the maid to take care of. Seto drummed his fingers on the counter impatiently. "What's taking Mokuba so long?"

"He left already," Joey answered. "He went to get Weevil picked up and get your paperwork going so that we could spend some more time in the game. Now let's roll!" Seto nodded, heading for the door. If there was anyone he knew he could trust with Kaiba Corp's day-to-day operations, it was Mokuba.

When they reached the building, Seto called up to his office to see if Mokuba had everything under control. Joey stood behind Seto, tapping his foot impatiently while Mokuba assured his brother that everything was just fine and that yes he would drag him out of the game if anything that needed Seto's personal attention cropped up. Satisfied that, for the moment, there were no immediate problems, Seto took Joey back down into Kaiba Corp's sub-basement.

"Good morning, Mr. Kaiba," greeted the technicians running the virtual reality equipment. Seto grunted something that could maybe pass for a "good morning" as he settled in the pod. Soon he was logged into the game and heading for Dame Chat's home with Joey following on his heels like a good puppy. "Allow me," Joey said when they reached the door. He pulled out a lock pick and began fiddling around. "It's funny how this body can do stuff I normally can't do." The lock clicked and Joey pushed the door open.

The first thing they saw was that the vampires had been busy. Siegfried hung from the ceiling, tied up with Dame Chat's knitting. Pegasus stood beside his trussed up prisoner, brushing the last of the morning frizzies out of his hair. "All done. Now, was that really worth all that fuss, silly human?" he murmured. Gagged with doilies, Siegfried could do little more than glare miserably.

Joey made no attempt to hold back his mirth, and was soon laughing almost as hard as he had been in the bathroom. The corner of Seto's mouth twitched upward slightly in a faint gesture of amusement. He refused to allow himself to show amusement in front of Siegfried, though he promised himself a good laugh later. For now, they had business to attend to. "Where's Weevil?"

"Oh, around somewhere, I'm sure," Pegasus said as he cut Siegfried loose. Siegfried thudded to the ground with a pained grunt. "I figured you would arrive shortly, so I asked Dartz to find him."

Almost as though his name were enough to conjure him, Dartz came pounding up the porch. "I found them! I found them! Seto Knight! Joey Thief!" Seto sidestepped in time to avoid an enthusiastic greeting as Dartz pounced. The vampire managed to land in a crouch, whirling around on the balls of his feet to tackle Joey. The mutt wasn't quite as quick on the uptake, and went down to Dartz's flying hug.

Pulling out the doily gag, Siegfried snorted in disgust. "I thought vampires were supposed to be vicious creatures of the night."

Dartz turned from his Joey hugging to hiss at Siegfried. "You're a bad God," Dartz growled. "No one cares what you think!"

"Why you stupid, little-"

"Dartz," Seto interrupted, shooting a glare at Siegfried. "Why don't we go get Weevil and the sphinx? You can show me what an excellent tracker you are." Seto had no doubt that the vampires could be positively murderous when necessary, and Siegfried seemed well on his way to bringing that trait out in Dartz at least. As much fun as it probably would be to watch the vampire decorate the walls with Siegfried's guts, there were more important things to be done. Dartz bounded to his feet, latching onto Seto's arm and leading him out the door.

Once they were out of sight of the house, Dartz slowed, releasing Seto's arm. He placed a finger to his lips, and began moving soundlessly off of the path. No leaves rustled nor twigs snapped beneath the vampire's feet. Seto followed as silently as he could, though, compared to Dartz, he felt like an elephant lumbering amongst the trees. When Seto could hear a stream babbling ahead, Dartz slowed, signaling for Seto to again be quiet. At last they stopped, Dartz crouching behind a tree and Seto following his example.

Ever-cautious, Seto peered around the tree trunk. The sphinx and Weevil lay by the stream, Weevil's head resting against the lion's side. The sphinx had a wing stretched out over the mage, shading him from the sun. "Dost thou sleep and dream of sheep," the monster asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"No," Weevil yawned, stretching before sitting up. Idly, the boy raked his fingers through the sphinx's sun-dappled fur. "I'm still awake, kitten." With a rumbling purr, the sphinx rolled to her side, allowing Weevil to stroke her lion's belly. He seemed glad to take the beast up on her silent invitation.

"Weevil Mage, why didst thou hide? Of thy true face, my sight was denied." Listening, Seto smirked a bit. At least the sphinx was bright enough to have seen through Joey's flimsy excuse.

"Because," Weevil began. He paused and stared down at his magician's robes. "Because this is how I want you to know me, kitten. In my world, I'm the kind of guy that most people won't look twice at. When I duel, I'm a somebody, but the rest of the time I'm just a nobody."

"To me thou art somebody," the sphinx murmured. "Many wondrous traits thou dost embody. For thee, I do care. This I declare. With you, I am smitten. I am your Kitten..." The sphinx drew Weevil into her embrace, a smile crossing her face. Seto decided the two could use some privacy, so he tapped Dartz's shoulder and motioned back the direction they'd come. Dartz nodded and the two set off.

The two hadn't gone far when a trio of newbies stumbled into view. The warrior and two mages halted in front of Seto and Dartz. "Gawking newbs," Seto muttered to himself. The warrior of the group pulled out his sword and lunged. With a hiss of surprise, Dartz dove to the side as the warrior attacked. Seto quickly rattled off the commands to send a chat request to the group. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted the moment the request was accepted.

"Calm down, Tristan," the female mage called out to the warrior. "This is a game, after all. I seriously doubt the 'weird shit' Joey mentioned would be here." Seto groaned in realization. Of all the people in the world to run into... Of course the mutt's friends would try to find out what was happening. The girl mage continued to babble. "Really, it would be just like Kaiba to put in characters that look like his enemies just so he could kill them. So stop acting like that thing is the real Dartz. We're really sorry to bother you guys. We're just trying to find a friend."

"About yeah tall?" Seto asked, holding a hand up at about Joey's height. "Blonde? Atrocious accent?"

"Yeah, that's him!" the other mage blurted.

"Haven't seen him." Then Seto glanced over at the vampire. "Dartz? You hungry?" Seto murmured, starting to grin a little. The vampire nodded, tongue darting out from between his teeth. "Well, there's a three course meal right in front of you. Dig in."

The vampire didn't have to be told twice. In a blur of motion, he was among the three newbie players. Seto leaned back against a tree to watch the action. This was the perfect opportunity to see just how dangerous the vampire could be. Dartz went for the mages first, grabbing Yugi and scurrying up a tree. He used the boy as a shield as he dug in his fangs and began wiping out his health points. When Yugi's health hit 0, he vanished back to Lilyvale and Dartz was swooping down to snatch another snack.

Tea and Tristan also fell before the vampire's onslaught. Once the pests were gone, the two continued their walk back to Dame Chat's home, Dartz making contented purring noises. Seto smirked to himself. He doubted one virtual vampire attack would be enough to convince those three to mind their own business, but it had been quite satisfying. Sure, he'd have to face Joey's anger when his friends told him about this, but as Weevil had said about copping a feel on the mutt, "It was worth it." Now Seto felt ready to handle anything the world could throw at him.


	13. I'm Looking For Something in Pink

**Author's Note:** Argh! Sorry for the delay on this one, folks! I was halfway through with this chapter when my computer picked up a virus. Had to reformat Windows and ended up losing all but the little bit that I had squirreled away in my e-mail. Waaaah!

**Minor Spoilers Warning:** If you've not seen the Kaiba Corp Grand Prix (or Grand Championship if, like me, you watch the dub) there are spoilers for that story arc herein!

Virtually Yours 

**I'm Looking for Something in Pink**

Joey tried not to pout as he watched Seto make an escape with Dartz. He wished that he'd thought of suggesting that they find Weevil first. Then it would be Seto still stuck here with His Royal Pain in the Backside. Pegasus joined Joey in watching Seto and Dartz leave. "Lucky us, huh?" the vampire muttered, drawing a smile from Joey.

"Yeah," Joey chuckled. "The bad kind of luck, though." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Siegfried sulking on the couch in much the same manner he'd been at it during breakfast. His arms were crossed as he sat hunched in the corner of the sofa, scowling at the mirror. It was a decent imitation of Seto's "leave me alone" posture. Joey might have felt sorry for the guy, if Siegfried hadn't brought all of this on himself.

With most people, Siegfried's body language would have made a perfect invisible "Do Not Disturb" sign. Joey and the virtual Pegasus, however, were not most people. Joey took the far end of the couch and Pegasus draped himself over the back, both attempting a stare-down match with the unhappy Siegfried. For his part, once he realized what the two were up to, Siegfried promptly shut his eyes, depriving Joey and Pegasus of that method of annoyance.

Pegasus climbed over the back of the couch, leaning closer and closer until he was a hairsbreadth from Siegfried's face. He cleared his throat to get Siegfried's attention. Siegfried's eyes flew open, and upon finding himself nose-to-nose with the vampire, he yelped, falling backwards over the arm of the couch. "Schiesse!" he swore, and that one word opened the floodgates as he rounded on Pegasus and Joey, shouting at them both in his native tongue.

Leaning forward, chin resting on his hands, Joey tried to pick out which words were the cuss words, but in the end he had to admit to himself that the whole tirade could very well have been nothing but swearing. Seto probably would have understood every word, Joey decided. "So, could you run that by us again in English?" Joey asked when Siegfried paused for breath.

With a frustrated growl, Siegfried stormed out of the house. As the door slammed hard enough to rattle the windows, Joey and Pegasus high-fived each other. The victory was short-lived, however, as Joey began to realize that Seto would not be pleased to discover Siegfried was roaming unescorted through the game. A Seto tantrum fit in the category of "Very Bad Things to Avoid in Life." With a sigh, Joey rose from the couch. "Come on. Let's go get him."

"I thought you wanted him gone," Pegasus muttered as he unfolded himself from his seat.

"I do," Joey sighed in response. "But take a moment and imagine Seto's reaction when he finds Siegfried gone and us telling him that we don't know where he's at." Pegasus beat Joey out the door. From the porch they scanned the landscape, but Siegfried was already out of sight. Figuring that they could cover more ground if the split up, Pegasus began checking the forest and Joey made his way into the town.

Even though Lilyvale was a beginner town, Joey loved it. Lilyvale was the kind of quaint farming town that, if it had been real, it would've been the sort of place where everyone knew everyone else - the exact opposite of Domino City. Lilyvale was, in Joey's mind, the Mayberry of the Age of Heroes world.

Joey began his search by going methodically from house to house. He made full use of the unspoken fact that NPCs rarely cared where a player went or what a player did in their homes. He searched in closets and beneath beds as he charged from room to room. Occasionally, he stopped a player and described Siegfried, but still his search came up fruitless.

When Joey left the fifth house he'd tried - the home of a grumpy old bat named Gammer Gurton and her servant, Hodge - three players materialized out on the street. "Weird," Joey muttered to himself. There weren't any monsters around Lilyvale capable of defeating a group of three - even if the three were beginners. Joey flushed guiltily as he realized that there were no monsters that strong except for the three from the vampires' castle. And if the sphinx was with Weevil and Dartz was with Seto, which meant Pegasus must have run across these three.

Feeling responsible for the players' demise, Joey made his way to the group, deciding to treat them to some time at the inn to heal them more quickly. "Hey!" he greeted cheerfully when they accepted his chat request. "You guys must've run into a whopper of a monster out there!"

"A stupid, day-walking, blood-sucker," the fighter of the group growled unhappily, confirming Joey's worries. Pegasus must have decided that he wanted a newbie snack. So much for the faint hope that the vampire wasn't to blame.

"Come on. Let's get you guys to the inn. My treat," Joey offered. Giving the newbies a chance to rest and some gold was the least he could do since he hadn't told Pegasus to leave players alone. As he led the way to the inn, Joey added, "By the way, I'm Merry."

"Merry, huh?" The fighter smiled. "Well, I'm Tristan. He's Yugi, and she's Tea. We've never played this game before, but we're trying to find a friend, and he plays." Joey's feet stopped working as the fighter introduced the group. He felt like going to the nearest wall and smacking his head against it.

Joey just knew that if Seto found out Yugi was in the game, he'd pin the blame on Joey somehow. Well, Joey had been the one to tell Tristan that "weird shit" was happening. If he'd taken time to think it through, he should have realized that his friends would come looking for him to make sure the "weird shit" wasn't anything he couldn't handle.

For the time being, Joey decided to keep his identity to himself. If his friends found out that he was Merry, he knew he'd never hear the end of it - especially from Tristan. When they entered the inn, the group froze, staring at the bar. Siegfriend von Schroeder was slouched on a stool, attempting to drown his sorrows in virtual ale. Joey sighed in relief - now that Siegfried was no longer MIA, there was one less reason for Seto to want to kill him.

"Are you sure this isn't the 'weird shit' Joey was talking about?" Joey could easily imagine Tristan gaping in fishlike shock at the computer screen. "I mean, I half expect to run into Pegasus next!"

Joey groaned in realization. If his friends hadn't run into Pegasus, then Dartz must have been the vampire to kill them. But he was supposed to be with Seto! Surely Seto wouldn't...

No, Seto would.

Just as Joey resolved to give Seto a stern lecture about killing friends, a private chat request from Tristan appeared. Joey accepted reluctantly, thinking he'd been found out. He braced himself for his friend's laughter. "Hey, beautiful," Tristan's voice purred. "When this is all over, what do you say we get together for a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I know how to show a girl a good time. Picture it - you, me, and my couch!"

Joey's mouth dropped open in shock at Tristan's indecent proposal. Clenching his fists to keep from throttling Tristan right then and there, Joey tried to think about how a girl would react to such comments. Coming up blank, Joey changed tactics and tried to determine how Tea would react. That did the trick! Joey pulled back his arm, winding up for the mother of all slaps.

A hand grabbed Joey's arm, and he was pulled back against someone's chest. "Is there a problem, Merry?" Seto asked as he wrapped his arms possessively around Joey. Glancing around, Joey saw that the vampires flanked Seto. Tristan closed the private chat, scooting behind Yugi and Tea.

"Nothing I can't handle, Professor," Joey murmured as he leaned against Seto's chest. For the moment this was better than slapping Tristan. Let him think that "Merry" had a kickass boyfriend who'd come kick his ass. Though if Joey found out that Tristan had been talking to his little sister like that, there would be hell to pay.

Seto merely nodded, his expression grim as he glared at Joey's friends. Joey wondered how much of this was Kaiba's ice cold "holier than thou" act and how much was his "nobody hassles the people I care about" act. Reading Seto's emotions, however, was an exercise in futility. "We should go," Seto murmured. "I've got to get some work done today." Joey nodded and Seto turned his attention to the vampires. "You two take that fool back to the house."

Grinning wickedly, the vampires snuck up behind Siegfried and hauled him off the stool. The ignored his indignant, slurred sputtering as they dragged him off. Once the three were out the door, Seto logged off. Joey put on a smile for his friends. "I bet your pal is fine," he told them. "If he wasn't, well, I'm sure he'd let you know. Friends help each other out, after all. So don't worry too much." Joey hoped he hadn't given himself away as he returned to the real world.

Stretching, Joey carefully climbed out of the virtual reality pod. He'd learned from the first time not to bump his head. It felt good to be back in his own, familiar body. Though being Merry was fun, she wasn't him. She was somebody Joey got to pretend to be.

As Joey looked around to get his bearings, he saw Seto already waiting by the door. How the guy was able to adjust so quickly to the change from virtual body to real body, Joey couldn't begin to guess. Though Joey suspected that the fact that Seto wasn't changing genders might play a part. "We going to let the roach stay in there all day?" he asked as he stretched.

"He's fine where he is for now," Seto murmured with a faint smirk. "We can drag him out for lunch."

"So you're planning on eating today? Quick! Someone call the press!" Joey chuckled as he crossed the floor to Seto. In response, Seto pulled Joey against him, touching his finger lightly against Joey's lips. Joey crossed his eyes to watch that finger for a moment. Then, with a devilish smirk, he planted a quick kiss lightly on Seto's fingertip.

Seto's face reddened briefly and his eyes widened in shock, but quickly the ice prince mask reformed. Still, Joey felt pleased with himself. He'd gotten a reaction, and that was always a rare treat where Seto was concerned. Joey was so pleased that he let Seto grab his arm and drag him off without a protest.

When they reached Seto's office, Seto relieved Mokuba of paperwork duty. Figuring they were going to be in for another dull rest of the day, Joey started up his laptop to check on his virtual pals. Soon he was looking into Dame Chat's home. Siegfried was once again sprawled miserably across the couch, the vampires having successfully managed to drag him away from the virtual lager. "I hate this place," Siegfried moaned. "I want to go home!"

After several minutes of Siegfried's "woe is me" act, Seto snarled and jammed his pen into his desk with such force that it remained standing straight up. "You selfish bastard!" he bellowed. Joey watched on the screen as the vampires dashed for the safety of the bedroom and Siegfried sat up on the couch. "You, you, you! That's all you care about! Nevermind that your little brother is the one in the hands of this monster!"

Siegfried made a dismissive noise in the back of his throat. "He is just an old man, Herr Kaiba, not the boogie man. How dangerous could he possibly be?"

"How dangerous?" Joey watched Seto jerk off his tie, worrying over the way his voice rose, as if it were bordering on hysteria. But that couldn't be right. Seto Kaiba was never hysterical. The tie was tossed aside, followed shortly by the suit coat. Seto's fingers fumbled madly with the buttons of his shirt.

Just as Seto seemed ready to rip the damned shirt off, Joey moved to help. Much to his surprise, Seto didn't try to smack him away. Button-by-button, bit-by-bit, the pale, scarred flesh inched into view. Joey stared at the skin that should have been smooth and flawless, but was instead streaked and puckered. Now Seto shoved Joey aside as he pulled free of the shirt. Bare from the waist up, he executed a slow turn in front of the computer screen, allowing both Siegfried and Joey to see that the back was even worse than the front.

"Mein Gott!" Siegfried gasped, his face echoing the same mixture of horror and anger that Joey felt churning inside.

"Do you see how dangerous one old man can be now?" Seto sneered mockingly. "When Gozaburo decides he's ready to train an heir, he will demand perfection. Anything less will be punished. Your brother will be leashed like an animal, forced to study day and night. Any time he makes a mistake, Gozaburo will be hovering right there, ready to take a riding crop to his back for the tiniest error. If he does well at his studies, Gozaburo may allow him a few hours sleep at night, provided he is not hurting too much to sleep. But if he does not, then Leon will be kept awake night after night until he can meet Gozaburo's standards! He will train your brother in martial arts, supposedly to hone body and mind. In actuality, Gozaburo will be using these lessons to beat any and all resistance out of Leon. Your brother will be alone. Gozaburo will not permit friendship, for friends are weakness. He will be told that he is stupid, worthless, weak... And Gozaburo will be the only example of strength he has to follow. This is how dangerous one old man can be!"

Joey shook at Seto's description. This was what Seto had grown up with? With that kind of psychological baggage, it was a miracle he was even half as well adjusted as he was. As Seto re-armored himself in his clothes, Joey shot a glance at Mokuba. The child's face was carefully blank, but when he noticed Joey watching, he nodded his head in confirmation. Yes, this had been Seto's life.

"Herr Kaiba," Siegfried said softly when he found his voice; Joey was still searching for his. Seto glanced in the direction of the computer screen, expression completely unruffled, as though his outburst had never happened. "Herr Kaiba, if there is no other way... If Leon cannot be protected from Gozaburo... Kill my body. Wipe out the monster that inhabits it."


	14. Filet of Soul

**Author's Note:** Yay! The end is in sight! A huge thank you goes out to Dark Fairy of Doom for beta-reading this chapter! She did a terrific job smoothing out all my grammar snafus!

**Virtually Yours**

Filet of Soul 

Seto sank back into his seat, carefully readjusting his tie. Jerking his pen out of the top of his desk, he frowned at it. The nib was completely ruined. Seto tossed it into the trashcan by his feet and reached into his desk drawer to get another pen. All the while, he kept his gaze averted from Joey.

Joey's emotions were as easy to read as the contract sitting in front of Seto, and the last thing Seto wanted to see on the mutt's face was pity. Pity was given only to the weak, and Seto would rather be hated than pitied. He would simply not look at Joey, not acknowledge the pity that he knew the other boy must have been feeling.

"That bastard is as good as dead," Joey growled. Seto's gaze shot up in surprise. There had been no pity in the mutt's voice, though there had been plenty of anger. Joey parked his butt on the corner of Seto's desk and grinned. "We are going to yank his soul out of Pinky and send it straight to hell!"

"And just how do you propose we do that?" Seto murmured, raising an eyebrow as Joey began playing with the Rolodex. Simple toys for simple minds, he supposed - except that he'd come to learn that Joey's mind was far from simple.

Instead of answering, Joey continued to swish his finger back and forth through the cards. Seto snorted in annoyance. Despite their many past encounters with people who claimed to have the ability to steal souls, Seto knew that Joey was as clueless as he was about how to accomplish such flim-flammery. Suddenly Joey's finger shot out, halting the progress of the cards he'd had rolling around. He flashed Seto a knowing smirk. Frowning, Seto peered at the contact card Joey had picked. "No," he said.

The card read:

_Pegasus, Maximillian_

_President & CEO Industrial Illusions_

Various contact numbers and addresses followed the name and title in Seto's flowing scrawl. Seto glared at the card as though his gaze could burn it into ash. If Industrial Illusions hadn't been his chief business partner, that particular contact never would have found its way into Seto's Rolodex.

Joey, however, was not to be daunted by a simple "no." He bent forward until he was eye-to-eye with Seto. "I don't hear any better ideas coming from you, Moneybags. Maybe you've got some secret weapon stashed away that the rest of us don't know about. Are you hiding an eighth Millennium Item around here somewhere? A Millennium Hoover or something - perfect for sucking up dust bunnies and souls! Face it, Seto; we're out of our depth. Pegasus used to have a pretty good collection of souls going. He's bound to know something useful!"

Seto continued to glower, crossing his arms and shaking his head. There was nothing that Joey could say to convince him to crawl to Pegasus for help. He would be as unbending as a giant oak tree in this matter. "Or we could just call Yugi and ask him to bail us out," Joey added slyly. Seto began dialing Pegasus's office.

After several minutes of browbeating Pegasus's secretary, Seto slammed the phone down. "He's not there. Mokuba, go drag Weevil out of the game and meet us at the jet. We're going to go let Joey explain this mess to Pegasus in person." He was going to let Joey see for himself that Pegasus was a useless fop, and that all of this soul stealing hocus-pocus was nothing more than smoke and mirrors.

Seto began filling his briefcase with paperwork. He would get as much done as he could today. While he packed up, Joey shut down the laptop. When they were ready, Seto buzzed his secretary, informing her that he was leaving and would need all of his appointments rescheduled. He strolled out of his office calmly with Joey following.

When they arrived at the jet hangar, Joey let out a low whistle. "Anyone ever told you that you're obsessed?" Seto merely drank in the sight of his pride and joy - the jet he'd modeled after his favorite Duel Monster, the Blue Eyes White Dragon. Sliding an arm around Joey's waist, Seto led him on board.

Once his passengers were settled, Seto made his way to the cockpit where Mokuba busied himself with the pre-flight checks. Once he was sure everything was satisfactory, Mokuba pressed the intercom button. "Gentlemen, this is your co-pilot speaking. Make sure your seats and tray tables are in the upright position because we are fixing to haul ass!"

"Mokuba!" Seto snapped as he turned in his seat to glare. Mokuba merely grinned cheekily in response, leaving Seto grumbling complaints about not getting any respect. Rather than make a fuss over Mokuba's lapse in good language, Seto chose, instead, to concentrate on the take-off.

Once the jet was sailing through the sky, Seto tapped at the controls, opening the window blinders. Here was the perfect opportunity to show off his piloting skills. Seto directed the jet straight upwards, relishing the struggle between machine and gravity. Once he achieved the altitude he wanted, the jet leveled off, but Seto wasn't done yet. He sent the jet into a dive over the ocean. Faster and faster the water rose to meet them. At the last moment, Seto pulled out of the dive, sending plumes of water soaring up on both sides of the jet as he rose back into the air again.

Seto flipped the intercom on to check on his passengers, smiling as he listened to Joey's delighted chatter. "That was fucking awesome! I never knew moves like that could be done outside the movies! You think he'll try it again?"

"If he does," Weevil groaned, "then I'm going to need another barf bag. You're both insane! You for bungee-jumping off the floating city and him for that!"

The rest of the flight proceeded without incident, and soon Seto was landing on Pegasus's private island. Pegasus's number one toady stood outside the jet as everyone exited. It took Seto a moment to recall the man's name - Croquet. "Mr. Kaiba, I was unaware of a meeting scheduled between you and Mr. Pegasus for today. If you'll follow me, I'll have a conference room set up right away and some refreshments brought in."

Seto, however, had no plan to stick around for even that long. He wanted to have done with this foolishness as soon as possible. "Don't bother," Seto growled, fixing Croquet with his most commanding glare. "Just take us to him."

Though his sunglasses hid some of his emotions, Croquet's lips quirked downward in a brief, disapproving frown. But he had the decency to keep his thoughts to himself as he led the way to Pegasus's gardens. Of course Seto didn't care one way or the other about whether or not Croquet approved of this intrusion into Pegasus's life.

The man they sought was stretched out in a patio chair. Dressed in jeans and a pastel yellow shirt, Pegasus seemed almost normal. Seto frowned at the sight - he'd only ever seen Pegasus in that garish red suit and, once, a bathrobe. The latter of which being an image that Seto had worked hard to scrub from his mind. Never in his wildest imaginings, however, had he once thought of Pegasus in casual clothing. The older man seemed unaware of the group as he concentrated on capturing the garden landscape on paper. On the table by his side Seto saw a bottle of wine and a portable CD player. His eyes tracked the headphone cord back to Pegasus. The foolish fop really was oblivious, lost in the music and his art.

Slipping behind Pegasus, Seto reached out and snapped the headphones. It was a trick he'd learned with Mokuba, and it proved just as effective on his business partner. Pegasus let out a surprised yelp as he whirled around. Instantly the surprise on his face dissolved into a joyful smile as he recognized his visitors. "Kaiba-boy! So good to see you again! And you brought some friends. My, my! You really should have called ahead, but no matter. Pull up a chair. Make yourselves comfortable. Croquet, be a dear and have the kitchen staff whip up some snacks for our guests!" Seto tried not to roll his eyes at the performance as he took a seat. He knew Pegasus's greatest strength, as a businessman was his charisma. People liked him because he seemed to genuinely care about them, even when he was busy stabbing them in the back.

But still, everyone took a seat. Since they were one chair short, Joey settled on the ground by Seto's feet. Weevil, who'd wound up on laptop-carrying duty began setting up the computer so Siegfried could join in on this encounter. Once Croquet was gone, Pegasus flipped to a fresh page in his sketchbook before setting it on the table. "So, to what do I owe this surprise visit?" he asked, noticeably turning down the charm. "I know it's not for the pleasure of my company."

"We want to ask you about..." Seto began. He paused as he tried to organize his thoughts. There had to be a way to introduce the subject without sounding completely crazy.

"Magic," Joey prompted, leaning his head against Seto's knee.

"A logical explanation for the removal of a person's consciousness from their body," Seto growled, giving Joey a light smack on the back of the head. Magic simply did not exist.

"Soul removal, Kaiba-boy?" With an amused smile, Pegasus began drawing. The Millennium Eye began took shape on the paper in just a few quick strokes. He followed that up with a quick sketch of the Seal of Orichalcos. "Every culture has its own theories. However, finding a method that works can be quite difficult. You've already had experience with these two." Pegasus tapped his pencil against the sketches. Seto growled in memory of the supposed magic, but raised no protest as Pegasus continued. "According to some superstitions, your soul will escape when you sneeze if you don't cover your mouth - most likely stemming from the days where outbreaks of plague were relatively common occurrences. On a different note, some cultures - even today - believe that when you capture the image of something, you capture its soul."

"So we are supposed to make Gozaburo sneeze and draw his picture?" Siegfried interrupted. "You'll have to pardon me, Herr Pegasus, but somehow I find myself placing little faith in the validity of these methods."

For the first time, Pegasus's gaze was drawn to the computer screen. In silence he took in the sight of his vampirical doppelganger sitting on Dame Chat's couch with Dartz sprawled across his lap. "Hello!" the virtual Pegasus chirped in greeting. "You must be my namesake - the other me that Seto Knight and Joey Thief told me about!"

As he waited for Pegasus to digest what he was seeing, Seto began running his fingers through Joey's hair. More and more, the mutt's presence felt comfortable to Seto. Judging from the way Joey leaned into Seto's touch, Seto suspected the feeling might be mutual.

"Perhaps, Kaiba-boy, I should not share any more information until I know exactly what is going on here."

Seto grumbled internally as his thoughts were drawn back to the business at hand. He let his fingers slide through Joey's soft hair one last time as he shot a sour glare at Pegasus. It wasn't as though any useful information had been shared. Of course, that would be just like Pegasus to feed them useless tidbits until he'd divined their purpose. "Let Pinky tell it," Joey mumbled, seeming as irritated as Seto about the interruption. "It's all his fault anyway."

Seto nodded and let Siegfried explain about being trapped in the virtual world with Gozaburo loose in the real world. While the story was being told, Seto once again allowed his fingers to comb through Joey's hair. As the tale wound to an end, he watched Pegasus lean back in speculative silence. When his thoughts had finally run their course, Pegasus spoke. "It seems to me, Kaiba-boy, that rather than questing for a magical trinket that may or may not work, a far simpler - and cruder - tactic would be to send Gozaburo back into the virtual world by force. If you can get to him, drug him or knock him out and then do your little ditty on the computer."

Seto watched as a slow smile spread across Siegfried's face. "Brilliant," he breathed. "Herr Kaiba, if your people would remove the patch that keeps me as an active player in the game and leaves me with a player's limitations, I could get you past my security system."

Siegfried's smile proved contagious as everyone around the table joined in. They would still need a plan, but now they had a starting point. "Pegasus, you are a genius," Mokuba said, saving Seto from having to make that admission aloud.

"But of course," Pegasus huffed. "Just because I'm eccentric, it doesn't mean I'm stupid."

At Pegasus's insistence, the group agreed to stay on the island until their plans were finalized. Seto had fought the decision tooth and nail until Pegasus and Siegfried knocked his arguments out with a devastating one-two punch. Pegasus softened Seto's resistance by pointing out that there was nothing to prevent Gozaburo from hiring an assassin to follow through on his threats against Mokuba. When Seto pointed out that he and Mokuba could stay at any hotel in the world, Siegfried sheepishly interrupted to reveal that he had programs available to track the credit card charges of his business rivals. If Gozaburo were looking for Seto, then the moment a charge was made, he would find Seto.

With a roar of outrage, Seto lunged to smash the computer into tiny bits. How dare that pompous idiot spy on his credit charges! A body crashed into Seto, sending him sprawling to the ground. Thrashing, he screamed obscenities at both Siegfried and the person holding him down. The weight shifted, and Joey murmured in Seto's ear, "If I can keep Tristan pinned, then I can sure as hell hold your skinny ass down until you calm down. Now, I know you've had a bad few days, but blowing your top isn't going to help, so chill."

Seto went still, taking deep breaths as he tried to let go of his anger. As if sensing that it was safe now, Joey slid off of Seto. As Seto returned to his seat, Joey stood behind him, leaning over and wrapping his arms around Seto's neck.

Pegasus, as always, maintained his usual air of amusement. Far be it from him to allow a near-brawl with a computer to dampen his mood. "Don't worry about money, Kaiba-boy. Just make me a list of everything you'll need, and I'll cover it. You can pay me back later. I've got far too much invested in Kaiba Corp to risk Gozaburo regaining control."

That night began the planning for what Joey dubbed "Operation Ghost in the Machine." Seto spent the first part of the planning session trying to convince both Joey and Weevil that this wasn't their fight. Both boys promptly told him to where to shove that thought. They were in this for the long haul, whether Seto liked it or not.

Two days later, the plans were ready to be set into motion, and Seto and Mokuba found themselves smuggled into Germany in Pegasus's private jet as part of his luggage. Since Gozaburo didn't know who Joey and Weevil were, they played the roles of Pegasus's assistants. Once the bellhop unceremoniously dropped off Pegasus's bags at the hotel room, Seto and Mokuba came out of hiding. Instantly, everyone set to work transforming the penthouse rooms into Command Central.

Mokuba and Weevil set up the computer. Pegasus and Croquet left to secure the last bits of equipment the group would need. Seto and Joey double-checked the items they already had. And, hardest of all, everyone waited.

Now that he was free to manipulate the virtual world, Seto saw that Siegfried had made changes to Dame Chat's home. No longer was there a quaint living room. The room had been expanded and revamped to resemble a modern living room. Siegfried had claimed one corner as his own private workspace, and was surrounded by various screens. The sphinx reclined in a corner of her own, on top of the fluffiest rug Seto had ever seen. The vampires prowled the room, examining the many changes. "What is all this?" Seto growled.

"A proper workspace, Herr Kaiba," Siegfried mumbled, glancing away from his screens only briefly in acknowledgment of Seto. "With the way this place was before, we were practically stepping all over each other. Anyway, I am all set for the evening's entertainment. I hope you are as well."

Seto nodded. "We will be as soon as Pegasus takes care of our transportation. Don't forget that while we're gone, Mokuba's going to be monitoring everything you do. If you betray us, we'll leave you trapped in there."

"Understood, Herr Kaiba," Siegfried sighed. He began pointing at the various screens, outlining their purposes to show Seto that he knew his role. "This is for communication. I'll be managing a conference call between those out in the field and those staying here at Command Central. Over here, I have up the schematics for my castle. The GPS nodules you three will be carrying will help me pinpoint your location and guide you. On this display, I am viewing the feed from my home's security cameras. And this last is a nasty surprise for Gozaburo when he returns to this world. No tricks, Herr Kaiba. I want back in my body, and I want that malicious program destroyed almost as badly as you."

As much as the thought of depending on Siegfried galled Seto, he knew they had no choice. Tonight, their lives were going to be in those well-manicured hands. Giving Siegfried one last glare, Seto went to change into what Joey called their "ninja clothes," though the clothing hardly came close to anything resembling what a stereotypical ninja wore. A pair of black jeans, a black hoodie, and black gloves later, Seto was pacing impatiently, until Pegasus came barging back in. "Your chariots await, dears. Good luck!"

Seto gave a nod at Pegasus's words. It was time. He, Joey, and Weevil donned headset telephones, as Siegfried dialed up the conference call. "Puppy-dog to Pink Powder-puff - come in, Pink Powder-puff," Joey quipped. "Can you hear me?

"Loud and clear, Puppy-dog," Siegfried answered, playing along with Joey's spy joke. The code names had been entirely Joey's idea. Seto had only agreed after hearing what he'd come up with for Siegfried. "Pink Powder-puff" was entirely fitting. Choosing "Puppy-dog" for Joey had been Seto's attempt at putting a stop to the code name foolishness, but it had backfired horribly as Joey had accepted the name instead of starting a shouting match.

Seto exited the hotel, with Joey and Weevil following. Out front, they found two off-road motorcycles. Pegasus had chosen well. Seto took one. Joey and Weevil took the other. Soon they were zipping off down the street. Their goal was beyond the town.

The wind whistled around Seto as he rode. As they reached the city limits, Seto decided to kick things up a notch. "Hey, Puppy-dog, think you can keep up?" Without waiting for a response, Seto took off, whipping down the road faster than ever. In response, Joey revved his engine and fairly flew along.

Farmland gave way to forests as they roared along the road. By the light of the moon, Seto could just make out the spires of the Schroeder castle looming over the trees. When Siegfried gave the word, they whipped the motorcycles off the road, into the forest. The boys dodged trees skillfully, as they headed for their stopping point. "Not bad, mutt," Seto muttered into the phone, more than slightly impressed at how well Joey kept pace with him.

"Not bad yourself, moneybags," came the laughing response. Seto smiled, feeling a little more relaxed. The race had helped to ease some of his tension over the planned evening.

Following Siegfried's directions, the group pulled to a stop at an old playhouse about a mile from the castle. They would have to go on foot from here to keep their approach from being heard. According to Siegfried, the playhouse had once been one of Leon's favorite haunts. They hid the bikes inside and began their hike. This time Seto didn't offer to race, but only because there was no way Weevil would be able to keep up.

As they approached the castle wall, Joey got out a grappling hook. "Who'd have ever thought we'd be doing this for real?" he muttered. Seto nodded in silent agreement. Once Siegfried gave the all clear, Joey tossed the hook up the wall.

"Gentlemen, before you go in," Siegfried said, "I'll try to keep track of where my security staff is in relation to your position. I'll also be interrupting the security camera feeds. I can cut out the feed on each camera for approximately ten seconds before an alarm is sent to the main monitoring room, so be careful not to waste time."

"Yes, Mother," Joey snickered as he began the climb over the wall. They'd been over this information during their planning sessions, but a reminder never hurt. At the top, Joey waited for Siegfried's signal, and then dropped down into the bushes below. Weevil followed, and then Seto.

Siegfried's directions led them to an alcoved servant's entrance. Safe from the cameras for the moment, Seto dug into their bag of tricks and handed Joey a screwdriver. Faster than he would have thought possible, the doorknob was in pieces. Joey swung the door open and murmured, "Alright, Pink Powder-puff, Team Hero has entered the Lion's Den."

"So I see, Puppy-dog," Siegfried murmured. "Begin phase one - Rapunzel Rescue." Early on in the planning, it had been decided that the first priority would be to get Leon out of the castle. If they couldn't stop Gozaburo, then at least they could prevent Leon from experiencing Seto's childhood.

Siegfried really did have a lovely home, Seto realized as they trooped through the hallways. He decided that he would ask for a proper tour when this mess was over with. Avoiding the security guards proved easier than Seto would have ever dreamed. All they had to do was listen for Siegfried's warning and then hide. As they reached the camera that kept vigil over the hallway outside what Siegfried told them was Leon's room, they paused.

"Not going to work," Joey whispered. "It'll take us longer than ten seconds to get in there and get the door shut."

"It's enough to get us under the camera, and that's all we need," Weevil responded. He reached into the front pockets of his hoodie and pulled out a small wicker cage. Seto frowned, wondering what Weevil had in mind. As soon as Siegfried gave the signal, the three ran under the camera, plastering themselves against the wall to stay in the camera's blind spot. "Get me on your shoulders, Kaiba," Weevil whispered insistently.

Seto crouched down, and Joey lifted the smaller boy onto his shoulders. With a grunt of effort, Seto rose. Joey kept his hands out to steady Weevil until Seto was fully upright. "Hold this, Wheeler." The wicker cage dropped down into Joey's hands. Joey held it so Seto could see the preying mantis inside. Seto was about to protest, wondering what good a stupid bug would do, when Weevil's hands pressed down on top of his head. Growling, he waited for Weevil to change position. Once the kid was standing on Seto's shoulders, he held out his hand for the cage. Joey passed it up, and within moments the preying mantis was out of the cage and perched on the camera lens. "There!" Weevil was smiling as he jumped down. "No one's going to be paying attention to the door now. Let's go!"

Triumphant in this minor victory, the boys quietly opened the door to Leon's room and tiptoed inside. Leon was found curled up and crying on his bed. So lost was the child in his misery that he didn't notice the intruders until Seto clapped a hand over his mouth. "It's alright," Seto whispered in his ear. "Siegfried sent us, Leon." Slowly he brought his hand away, still worried that the boy might scream for the guards.

Instead, Leon just turned to stare at the three, recognition slowly dawning. "It's alright," Seto said again, trying to be as soothing as possible as he pretended not to notice the boy's black eye. "Your brother did something very, very stupid, and he sent us to clean up his mess. You're going to go with Weevil out to the playhouse – the one you used to sneak out to when you were younger – and you're to wait there until you hear from us." Leon nodded, relaxing at the mention of the playhouse. Seto gave himself a mental pat on the back for mentioning it to earn Leon's trust. After all, knowledge of the playhouse could have only come from Siegfried.

Weevil opened the window, and readied a rope. Soon the two boys were descending into the darkness of the garden. Once they were on the ground, Seto reeled in the rope and waited. He and Joey weren't going to move until they received word that both boys were safely on the other side of the walls. "Rapunzel Rescue is a success!" The relief in Siegfried's voice was plain to both Seto and Joey. "Time to begin phase two – Ghostbusters. Good luck!"

The moment Siegfried confirmed that the mantis was still hanging around on the camera, Joey and Seto dashed into the hallway. They ran, guided by the voice in their ears. At one point Siegfried yelled at them to hide. Seto had pulled Joey into an alcove, ducking behind an oversized vase displayed there. Seto held Joey against his chest as they tried to quiet their frantic breathing. Once the security guard was safely past, they were in motion again - running with as much silence and speed as they could muster.

As they approached Siegfried's room, Seto could see a light shining beneath the door. Seto bit back a sharp curse. Of course Gozaburo would still be awake. Things had been going too well, so something had to backfire. This certainly killed any thoughts of sneaking in and chloroforming Gozaburo.

Seto tapped Joey's shoulder and pointed to the door. "He's awake." Joey nodded grimly - he understood. "This isn't your fight, mutt. You don't have to go in there with me. No one will fault you if you back out now."

Joey shook his head. "You should know by now that I don't abandon my friends, man. We're going to bust in there and kick his ass together." Seto turned away, not wanting Joey to see the joy those words brought. He was supposed to be a loner, yet he was glad that he wasn't going to be facing Gozaburo alone.

Together, Joey and Seto burst through the door and into a decorator's lavender paradise. Gozaburo was seated at a dressing table, preparing to take a pair of scissors to Siegfried's long hair. At the intrusion, the man laid the scissors back on the dressing table and turned - a slow, deliberate movement.

"So good to see you again, Seto." Even had Seto not known that this was Gozaburo, at those words he would have known that this wasn't Siegfried. Gozaburo spoke slowly and evenly, forcing each word to sound as he wanted it. He spoke with a mouth that was accustomed to forming words in one way, and a mind that was determined to bend the words to his will. Gozaburo was all about control.

"The feeling isn't mutual," Seto snarled, taking up a fighting stance. He wasn't a helpless child any longer. Gozaburo was going to see that he no longer held any control over Seto.

Gozaburo lumbered closer, moving without Siegfried's grace. Seto felt that Gozaburo wore this body like an ill-fitting suit of clothes. "You are just a little boy playing at being a man, Seto," Gozaburo murmured, mimicking Seto's fighting stance. "No matter what form I wear, child, I am your father, and you are just a worthless, stupid boy."

A shiver ran down Seto's spine as he took a step back as doubt began to churn in the pit of his stomach. "Seto!" Joey yelled. Seto glanced his way long enough to catch a glimpse of a grin and thumbs up. Seto returned the smile, and then ducked as Gozaburo took the first swing.

As he came back up, Seto slammed a fist into Gozaburo's stomach. Gozaburo stumbled backwards as he tried to catch his breath. Seto smirked, realizing that through his years as a virtual creature Gozaburo had forgotten what it was like to have a real body. Seto stepped up his attacks, his body a flurry of movement as he kicked and punched.

Gozaburo seemed to be concentrating on defense as he blocked attack after attack. Suddenly he darted to the side, snatching the scissors off of the dressing table. Seto hissed in pain as the scissors stabbed into his side. Then there was a thunk and Gozaburo fell to the ground, eyes rolling back in his head.

Joey stood over the prone body, clutching a hardbound book in his hands. He flashed Seto a sheepish hangdog look. "You alright? I was going to let you two fight it out. But then he stopped playing fair."

"I'll be fine," Seto grunted, as he began using the scissors to slice up Siegfried's bed sheets. He bound up his wound, while Joey tied up Gozaburo. Briefly, Seto glanced at Joey's makeshift bludgeon. "It's a shame you had to be so rough with a perfectly good book, but I think the Brothers Grimm will forgive you."

Joey nodded as he double-checked his knots. It was imperative that Gozaburo not be able to work his way loose or scream for help. "Siegfried," Seto said, getting back to business. "We've secured your body, but while we're dragging this dead weight along, it's going to take longer than ten seconds to get past the cameras."

"Especially since you're injured," Joey added, earning a glare from Seto.

"Then let me know when you're ready and I will shut down all of the camera feeds, Herr Kaiba. It will set off security, but at least they won't know where to look for you." Seto wished that there were another way, for without the cameras, they would lose their early warning system. But, if the cameras were left on, the security guards would easily be able to pinpoint their location.

When they were ready, Joey picked Gozaburo up under the armpits. Seto grabbed him by the legs. "Cameras off," Seto commanded. Once again they were on the move, this time to Siegfried's computer room. Seto let out a grunt of pain with every step, but he refused to stop or let Joey take up their entire burden. Instead, he continued to push himself, trying to pretend that all he felt was just a stitch in his side.

They were nearly to their destination when they ran into security. Joey shifted his grip on Gozaburo, and Seto caught a glimpse of a flash of metal at the unconscious man's throat. "Seto, tell them to drop their weapons and their walkie-talkies or else Pinky dies." Seto repeated Joey's words in flawless German. He could see the guards wavering with indecision as Joey glared at them. The cold gleam in Joey's eyes was like nothing Seto had ever seen in the normally open and friendly boy.

Seto actually believed Joey would slit Gozaburo's throat. The guards seemed to believe it too as one-by-one they threw down their weapons. "Now tell them to kick everything over here. One wrong move and Pinky has to learn to breathe through his throat." Once again Seto repeated Joey's words, and this time the guards didn't hesitate as they kicked their weapons over. Seto released his hold on Gozaburo to pick everything up. With a nod, Joey began backing away, muttering, "Which door? Which door?"

"Third on the left," Siegfried responded.

As Joey started going to his left, Seto shook his head. "Other left, mutt. You're facing backwards." Joey nodded and altered course, never taking his eyes off of the guards. Seto opened the door, and the two dashed inside. Once the door was shut and locked, Joey dropped Gozaburo and grinned at Seto, brandishing his weapon. Seto's eyes widened as he realized Joey had just bluffed his way past armed guards with a screwdriver. "Remind me never to play poker with you."

Chuckling to himself, Joey began wrestling Gozaburo into the virtual reality pod. Seto made his way to the computer and began logging in, following Siegfried's instructions. At the door, a thumping started up as the guards tried to break their way in. Seto's fingers flew across the keyboard as he began to manually log Gozaburo into the system.

Onscreen, Siegfried's virtual headquarters took shape. All of the furniture was pushed away from the middle of the room. Seto watched as Gozaburo appeared. Suddenly the floor began glowing as an all too familiar seal appeared beneath him. "No way!" Joey gaped, rushing to Seto's side to get a better view. "Is that Orichalcos?"

After a moment of studying the glowing seal, Seto shook his head. "I think it's just a containment seal. He probably got the idea from Pegasus's sketch." Seto pointed, circling his finger around the seal. "See. The runes are different - Germanic, instead of whatever language that was around the Orichalcos."

Gozaburo, meanwhile, was not taking his imprisonment lightly. Roaring, he threw himself at the invisible walls of his prison. From his work area, Siegfried made an obscene gesture at his prisoner, sending him into a further rage. Onscreen, a popup appeared asking whether or not Seto wanted to delete the Gozaburo program. "Would you care to do the honors, Herr Kaiba?"

"Gladly," Seto said as he clicked on the yes button. Gozaburo's screams became more frantic as he began to disappear. Never had Seto seen anything more wonderful.

"We did it!" Joey whooped, throwing his arms around Seto. Seto wasn't the yelling and cheering sort, but he did permit himself a smile as he held Joey against him. Giving in to an impulsive impulse, Seto began to bring his mouth down to Joey's. What better way to relish the moment than to do something to make it even more memorable?

Before Seto could follow through with the kiss, however, the door burst open and Siegfried's security guards flooded into the room, guns pointed at the two. With the moment ruined, Seto pulled away from Joey, raising his hands into the air.

A pair of guards came forward and began frisking the boys. Seto grimaced uncomfortably as their hands treaded into no man's land. Joey, however, stood by Seto's side with such a resigned look on his face that Seto wondered whether or not he'd been through this before. As if realizing that Seto was thinking about him, Joey turned his head and winked. "It really unnerves the cops if you pretend like you're enjoying this. Watch," he chuckled. Joey began making a delighted moan in the back of his throat, as he lolled his head back. The guard patting him down grimaced in disgust and jerked his hands away.

"Fascinating," Siegfried called out from the virtual reality pod. Then he switched to German as he began issuing orders to his guards. "Someone untie me! And do stop manhandling my guests. Honestly! If I wish to indulge in a bit of bondage with my guests, then I should be allowed to without guns being drawn!" Between Joey's moaning and Siegfried's explanation for his bound state, Seto found himself wishing the floor would open up and swallow him before something even more embarrassing could happen.


	15. Get Your Game On

**Virtually Yours**

**Get Your Game On**

Joey loped around the airport terminal like an antelope on speed. He bounded to the windows to watch planes take off and land, scampered to the monitors to check on the incoming flights, and then made his way back to Seto. For his part, Seto paid Joey's antics no attention. Joey didn't mind, though. Seto had a lot of work to catch up on.

While Seto worked, Joey entertained himself, just as he'd been doing since they'd returned to Domino City. Now that all of the excitement with Siegfried and Gozaburo was over, Seto seemed more determined than ever to bury himself in his work. Joey didn't complain, though, because it gave him and Mokuba the chance to plan a killer Welcome Back party.

"Joey!" Tristan was shoving his way through the crowd. Joey waved as his best friends came into view. In moments, greetings were exchanged, hugs were given, and hair was ruffled. Once everyone backed off enough to give each other breathing room, Joey hauled back and slapped Tristan. "That," he said with a snicker, "was for that 'you, me, and my couch' comment, you pervert. And there's a major ass kicking in store for you if I find out you've been talking dirty to Serenity. Now let's get moving before our ride decides to leave us!"

Laughing to himself, Joey began making his way back to Seto. "Oh, my God!" he heard Tristan gasp behind him. "Oh, yuck! I can't believe I hit on Joey!" It seemed as though half the airport turned to stare at Joey's gagging friend as he tried to digest his realization.

Soon the group reached Seto, who favored them with a brief glance up from his paperwork. "Still King of Games, Yugi?" When Yugi nodded, Seto smirked in response. "Good. I look forward to challenging you for your title later."

"Be nice to my friends, you bastard," Joey growled playfully as he mussed Seto's hair. He had to choke back another laugh as he heard he heard Tea say something about a death wish. There was no doubt in Joey's mind that once Seto would have beat the stuffing out of him for this kind of manhandling, but that was before the Professor met Merry.

Now Seto merely gave Joey a tight-lipped smile - a smile that told Joey he was trying to maintain his "cold bastard" status. "I'll be nice to whomever I please, mutt."

"Jerk-face," Joey countered playfully.

"Second-rate duelist," Seto snapped back.

"Rich snob." Joey's friends cast their gaze back and forth between the two, following the insults as they volleyed back and forth.

"Virtual cross-dresser."

Instead of lobbing out another insult, Joey shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I am. You win. Now let's blow this place." Three sets of jaws dropped open at Joey's admission of defeat.

Seto crossed his arms and smirked. "Only when the puppy barks for his master."

Expecting Joey to go ballistic, Yugi and Tea grabbed onto Joey's arms to hold him back. Instead of starting a brawl in the middle of the terminal, though, Joey smiled as he stared out at Seto from beneath his shaggy bangs. "Woof."

"This," Tristan declared, "officially qualifies as 'weird shit!' Someone went and replaced Joey with a pod person while we were gone!"

Joey would have loved to relish his friends' shock, but there wasn't time. Seto had put away his paperwork and was already making his way towards the luggage carousel. Joey pulled his arms out of Yugi's and Tea's grasps and began following. He had no intention of walking all the way from the airport back to Kaiba Corp.

"Joey, wait up!" Joey slowed his pace at Tristan's call, but he didn't stop. Up ahead, he could see Seto slowing also. When the group caught up, to Seto, Tristan grabbed the young CEO by the coat. "What the hell have you done to Joey, Kaiba?"

For a moment, confusion clouded Seto's face, but it was quickly replaced with the arrogant smirk that Joey knew so well. "What have I done?" Seto murmured sarcastically as he pretended to think over Tristan's question. "Why, Joey, what would you say I've done?"

Joey chuckled as he began carefully prying Tristan's fingers off of Seto's coat. "Let's see... You fired my ass. You let me move in with you. You let me come with you to Germany so we could break into Pinky's castle. And you're letting me throw a Welcome Back party for my pals." Of course, those were only the highlights. Joey figured that for his friends' peace of mind, he probably shouldn't mention the near kiss that Seto pretended hadn't almost happened. Nor did he mention that he'd been pretending to fall asleep on Seto's bed while watching TV just so Seto wouldn't kick him out of the room. Some things, Joey decided, needed to stay private - at least until he and Seto worked them out.

At last Tristan's fingers came loose, though Joey suspected that it had more to do with shock than his prying efforts. Once Seto was free, Joey bounded to the luggage carousel and began grabbing his friends' bags. "Hey, Moneybags! Catch!" With almost no effort, he began lofting the bags in Seto's direction. Seto caught them just as easily, setting the bags down for their owners to reclaim them.

Joey found that he was enjoying the looks of dumbfounded stupefaction on his friends' faces. They needed to be shaken up from time-to-time. "Joey? Is everything really alright?" Yugi watched Joey carefully, his innocent face brimming with worry.

"I can't remember when things have been more alright," Joey assured the smaller boy. "You guys will get the whole story at the party, ok? The really short version is that Moneybags and I managed to work a lot of shit out. And we're still working shit out. But we get each other a lot better than we did."

"Put the touchy-feely crap on ice, Wheeler," Seto growled impatiently as he folded his arms across his chest. Recognizing the signs of an impending Pissy Seto moment, Joey saluted and began helping Tea with her multiple bags. Yugi and Tristan had packing down to an art - jam everything you could possibly need into one duffel bag, and if it doesn't fit then you don't need it. Joey never had understood why Tea needed more than one bag.

Seto led the way out to his limo. Once the luggage was stashed in the trunk, everyone piled into the vehicle. Because everyone wanted to stay together, they all got into the very back. Joey frowned for a moment as he tried to figure out how to make some room, then he scooted onto Seto's lap. This time even Seto seemed shocked as Joey made himself comfortable.

"What the hell are you doing, mutt?" Seto growled as his personal space was thoroughly invaded.

Joey put on his most vapid expression, widening his eyes in innocent surprise at Seto's gruffness. His goofball grin slid perfectly into place. "I," he began dramatically, "am making room for my friends."

Seto glared, his face reddening. For a moment, Joey thought he might have gone too far. He teetered on the verge of moving to Tristan's lap when Seto finally sighed. "I can't work with you right there."

"You work too much anyway," Joey muttered as he slid over to Tristan. He knew when to admit defeat; Seto was an incurable workaholic. At least Tristan and Yugi didn't mind sharing their laps, though Joey would have worried that he'd squash Yugi. Joey had never tried sitting on Tea's lap before, though - mostly because he figured that she'd think he was trying to pull a Weevil and cop a feel, and Tea packed a mean right hook.

Suddenly a pair of arms circled around Joey's waist and he was pulled roughly back over onto Seto's lap. "I didn't say you had to move," Seto growled, and Joey would have enjoyed the moment if Seto hadn't been glaring daggers at Tristan. "If I can't work, I'll read. Now make yourself useful and get my book out of my briefcase."

Now this was new! To the best of Joey's knowledge, only Seto was allowed to delve into Seto's briefcase. With exaggerated reverence, Joey bent and picked Seto's briefcase up off of the floor. He settled it across his lap and opened it. Joey carefully poked among the charts and contracts until he found the book. He felt a thrill of delight to see that it was one of the ones Merry had recommended to the Professor - "The Drowning of Stephan Jones." He passed the book to Seto, and carefully closed the briefcase before setting it back onto the floor.

As Seto began reading to himself, Tristan gave Joey's leg a kick. "Start talking, man. What happened while we were gone?"

Joey felt Seto tense up, but otherwise Seto gave no indication that he'd heard anything. If Joey hadn't known any better, he would have thought Seto was completely absorbed in the book. "Well," Joey began, since he knew his friends would keep questioning him. "It all began with that computer game."

"Should have known," Tristan muttered, grinning wryly. "It's always about a game."

Joey stuck his tongue out before continuing. He told his friends about how he'd accidentally created a female character and made friends with a knight. The limo pulled to a stop at the Kaiba Corp building as Joey reached the part where he lost his job. "Bastard looked like his spleen was going to rip out of his body and strangle me when I handed him the puky towels!"

"Bastard is still sitting right here," Seto murmured as he closed up his book.

Joey put the rest of the story on hold while everyone exited the vehicle. He was rapidly approaching the part of the tale where he wasn't sure what had happened, after all. Seto never had explained to Joey why he'd gone running to the rescue. It was just one of the things that Joey mentally filed away as "Seto's Business" to be left alone until Seto felt like discussing it.

As usual, Seto took the lead as they made their way through the Kaiba Corp building. When the entered the sub-basement where the virtual reality equipment was kept, Mokuba stood impatiently in front of the door - arms crossed and foot tapping, looking for all the world like a miniature Seto. "What took you guys?" he demanded. "Everyone else is already in the ballroom!"

"Ballroom?" Tea peered past Mokuba excitedly. Her shoulders slumped in disappointment as only computer equipment met her gaze. Seto shoved past Tea and went straight for a virtual reality pod. Joey gave Tea a light shove against the small of her back. When she turned to slap him, Joey ducked. He gave Tea a friendly wink before bounding into the room.

Knowing his friends would follow; Joey settled into a pod and began logging into the game. As he appeared in the ballroom of the vampires' castle, he saw that Mokuba hadn't been joking. Everyone was already there. Weevil and the Sphinx cuddled together against the wall. The vampires stood by the buffet table, splitting a bottle of blood. Siegfried had a silver-haired knight that Joey assumed was the real Pegasus cornered. Seto was already crossing the room to come between the two. "Break it up!" Joey called out, beating him to the punch. "This is a party, not a business meeting!"

One by one, Joey's friends appeared in the ballroom. Unable to resist a little bit of teasing, Joey threw his arms around Tristan's neck, pressing his virtual body against his friend. He snickered as Tristan's face turned various shades of red. Sometimes having a girl's body could be so worth it! "Is that lobster on the buffet?" Tristan stammered out, keeping his eyes off of Joey.

"Yep!" Joey chuckled, releasing Tristan. "Since Seto's skimping on the snacks in the real world, I told him he had to go all out here." Tristan nodded and made his escape to the food. He paused to watch the vampires, and once he was sure they weren't going to turn him into a meal, he began filling a plate. Yugi was soon following his example. "Story time!" Joey announced once everyone had a full plate.

Everyone gathered around, and Joey took up the story where he'd left off. Weevil jumped in when they reached the first raid on the vampire castle, exaggerating his role so greatly that it almost sounded like he'd beaten the Vampire King and his Lords single-handedly. Joey pretended not to notice as he inched his towards the edge of the group, closer to Seto. He already knew what had happened, so he didn't feel any particular need to pay attention.

As usual, Seto's face betrayed nothing when Joey reached his side. If anything, his expression seemed to harden. Hesitantly, Joey reached for Seto's hand, only to have it jerk away. Joey caught Seto's eye and raised his eyebrows in a silent, "What's wrong?" In an equally wordless response, Seto shot a glare at Tristan, and Joey had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. Once he was certain that he wasn't going to let out an ill-timed chuckle, Joey mouthed the words, "Log out."

As Seto logged out of the game, Joey followed. Both boys climbed out of the virtual reality pods - one glaring and the other holding back a smile. "You always such a jealous bastard?" Joey teased. Seto growled under his breath and turned away. "I was just horsing around with Tristan, man. It's not like I'm even sure where I stand with you anyway."

Growling low in the back of his throat, Seto slammed Joey against the wall. Joey squirmed in Seto's clutches, as the other boy leaned in closer. If Joey had any further doubts about where he stood with Seto, they disappeared as Seto crushed his mouth against Joey's. Seto bit down on Joey's lip, earning a surprised gasp. That moment was enough for Seto to send his tongue exploring the depths of Joey's mouth. Seto Kaiba never asked permission; he took what he wanted, as Joey was finding out firsthand.

When at last Seto pulled back, Joey leaned against the wall for support, knees trembling. Seto merely smirked, tracing a finger along the line of Joey's jaw. Joey realized that they just might be able to work out a relationship if they didn't kill each other first. Sure, they still had a long way to go - after all, Seto had the personality quirks of an anti-social, three-legged dachshund. But Joey, with his temper, probably wasn't much better. Smiling, Joey pulled Seto into another kiss. Whatever the future might hold, for this moment at least, Seto was virtually his.

**

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**Author's Note: **I want to send out a huge thank you to everyone who's taken the time to review! Also, a super grand thank you to Dark Fairy of Doom for beta-reading this chapter! It's been a long, wonderful ride. Alas, all good things must come to an end. But while this particular story has wound to a close, there are still more adventures in Seto's Age of Heroes game world to tell.


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